Should I text to talk about us? Or just leave it to move on?

[Anonymous]

Hi, we met on dating app. I didn't know that he just a traveler on my country but anyway I was bored and I thought he was cute so I asked him out first. And first one went great. We met for just a coffee but we even had dinner and dessert! We talked a lot, even about long distance relationship, marrige, kids. Anyway, and he asked out for second dates on next day because we didn't have enough time to spend together, he had to go back his country soon.

So we had our second date, it was also so great. When the date was over and we parted, he said 'see you again'. And we texted for days but he didn't ask me out so I asked him out for our last dates.

Third one was not better than the first and second. I don't know he felt same way. Anyway I still like him and i can feel he likes me. I know we had to talk about our future (like we should keep going or not) but i was too nerverous so all I asked was "are u going to keep in touch with me or not?" And he said "If you want to". 😅

Anyway he backed to his home, and we texted a few days (I think he texted me first about 40%, and 60% was mine. His reply was pretty quick tho.)

But our last text was he: good night!! :) x me: good night!

We asked to each other send some photos of your day but nobody sent lol. And we haven't talked like 4 days.

Does it mean he has no interested in me now? Should I move on or just talk about us to him?

(p. s. We live in another country, but the time difference is not that big.)

[HollyK21]

Judging by your willingness to talk about marriage and kids on the first date, you are very eager to be in a relationship, but you should never compromise practicality. When you think about it, how doable is an LDR with so much distance? The man’s not in the next city over, or even another state, you know how expensive cross-country relationships can be? Plane tickets, hotels, casual spending money, all that only to see him maybe a handful of times a year and even that wouldn’t be certain. Taking extended time off work to travel, this is not realistic.


On top of that, I don't know how genuine his intentions actually were in the first place. In my mind, if a guy is only visiting a country and takes it upon himself to get a dating app, he’s either looking for company or sex, not a real commitment. This would explain why he’s so passive about even keeping in contact. “if YOU want”, that line alone says unless you initiate, you won’t receive his effort, hence him going ghost for 4 days. So ultimately I’d say cut your losses, there will be other men you’ll connect with, where can actually build something in person.

[Asker]

Wow thank you for the genuine advice. I did think of our first dating as just a company. But we had a lot of common that's why i'm thinking about the possibility to a relationship. For the record, He first brought up long distance relationships, marriage, and those kind of things.

But you're right! Thanks, you wake me up

[HollyK21]

It’s ok that he brought it up first, whether it was you or him, I’m just speaking on your willingness to have that sort of conversation so soon. But there’s no judgement on my end, I know sometimes it’s easy to get caught up when you’re clicking with someone. Anyway, I think it’s best to let that guy go, not for any hard feelings but just because that’s not the right person. Also, no worries! If you need additional advice, feel free to dm me☺️

[DarkWinterNights]

Sounds like neither of you know what comes next. But that’s okay. It sounds like you really connected. If both of you really like each other you can find a way to make it work. Your last date was probably not as great because you were both aware he was leaving soon, so that’s understandable.

[Asker]

But why he suddenly ghosted :(

[DarkWinterNights]

Your post said neither of you responded, that’s not being ghosted. If you send a message or two and he never gets back with you, that would be considered ghosting. He probably went back to work or got busy with some stuff.

[Asker]

A little bit getting tired of being the one who starts text. :( I thought same way but also I can see the sign he is active on instagram quite often during that 4 days... I felt connected with him but now I don't know exactly :(

[goofball3456]

Move on