Do you put a time limit on an undecided future with someone you are dating?

[Anonymous]

Ex: you've been in a relationship for a year, and you've brought up potential future plans, and the person you are dating keeps avoiding and avoiding them or they just give you a run around answer. Do you put a time limit on how long you're willing to wait around without any future plans in the works, or do you just ride it out indefinitely?

[Rei13]

My boyfriend and I talked a lot about what we wanted in a relationship as well as timelines prior to us dating. They matched for the most part. If those don’t match up as we reach those milestones then I’ll probably reconsider since I’m getting older but I don’t see that happening. Our biggest difference was with children. He wants one, I wanted five but we’re both ok with 2-3. His order of doing things are slightly different to mine as well but not really deal breakers. I want the same things

[Asker]

It's good that at least you guys are talking about timelines and future wants in your relationship. Sounds like good communication.

[electromagnetic]

I did for my own personal goals.
I’ve always wanted the family dynamic. Husband, house, kids, holiday vacations.
These were thinks I have extremely forthcoming in my relationship. Otherwise why keep wasting each others time.
The way I see it, if you’re in a relationship with someone 3+ years, you gotta get the general gist if you wanna spend the majority of your life with this person or not. & if you don’t after 3 years, maybe that person isn’t it.

[Asker]

Fair enough.

[Constatine]

If you actually put a time limit in / on a relationshit... your are doing it wrong. A relation should grow in the time it needs. Rushing will kill the love and the relationship.

[RavVid]

I am happy with how we are and why ruin it by putting pressure on both of us?

It is a valid argument. And what I would say.

[Asker]

This conversation tends to come about when people are looking for marriage/kids. It only matters really if you want them, right, so if it's 10 years into the relationships, neither of you are talking about it, and you want kids badly hypothetically, are you just waiting endlessly with no resolution to your question of having kids?

[RavVid]

I am fairly moral and I have said it is best you look for someone else.

[petitedollbabee]

No. I don’t have set timeframes that I want everything to happen within. I only go into the relationship with the expectation that we will grow together and do things when the time comes. Life is full of unexpected challenges and surprises. You can’t perfectly plan out everything, and it’s unnecessary pressure to put on a partner with those time frames.

[Asker]

So if you wanted kids, you would just never discuss it and surprise him with a pregnancy? I think there are some things you probably should talk about...

[petitedollbabee]

Where did I say that? Random. I don’t want kids, or marriage, I would be telling him that before the relationship even started.

[smashleyy]

sounds very controlling and naggy on your part based off the limited details you provided. I don’t doubt that your feelings are valid to an extent* but who wants a mom as a partner

[Asker]

LOL, it's just a question. Calm down. When you're in a relationship, do you discuss future plans and if there is no discussion whatsoever 5, 10, 15 years down the road, you cool with that? That's all.

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, I used to put it at 3yrs but now I don't have enough time for that so I set check ins with myself about the relationship every 3 months and have a 1.5yr limit.

[DizzyDesii]

Yep. Anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months for unofficials and anywhere from 3 months to a year for officials

[sheenagwapa]

if i'm in a relationship with someone it means i really love such person and so as long as i can see the person is trying his best i'm sticking around

[Anonymous]

No. That is to say, I don't put a clock on a woman. But then again if another woman grabs me because she's dragging her feet then so be it.

[Asker]

Fair enough.

[Samvixen]

If we don’t know we want to be committed after 8 months and we didn’t decide on just a Feb kinda deal then it’s a dub (over)

[Stacy2003]

Somewhat I make goals if I see it going no where. I will end it.

[rhertlin]

Am Rose looking for long term relationship

[Radiate143]

Yes, I do.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Yes I do