Is he husband material? I I have just come out of a 15yr relationship and I am looking for a man who can lead?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now, he's is a very kind and caring man who leads and is very desicive, although he isn't my usual type as he is a little overweight and little shorter than my type. He has spent quite a lot of money on me one our dates but on a company card. During the weekend we went to a chain thai restraunt and although I was in heels I agreed to go in a walk with him so we could talk and spend more time together.
We have planned to go away to Brighton for the weekend and so he asked if I could use my air bnb because his user account has a bad rating from one of his friends they caused damage in the bnb he booked for a holiday. I didn't mind to book it for us and even changed the booking because the first place we both decided on wasn't that great. Should I have booked it for him? Is this, manly behaviour? I feel like I should deserve better than this we are both 31yrs old and I really want to find a confident masculine leader who's gentle and has his life together. This man I'm dating I've agreed to be his girlfriend but I just want to get a second opinion. He also took me home when I underestimated a really strong cocktail and got sick, he didn't take advantage of me and called me in the morning to see if I'm okay. So what do we think guys?

Updates

6 mo

To clarify because I dont know how to edit the orginal question, he uses his company card to take me out on lovely dates. I did see him however split the bill into the company card and then his other credit card. We went half's on the air bnb rental as well.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hi and okay uh, seems like a tricky situation. This guy seems like he treats you well and cares about you if he took care of you when you got sick. But some of the financial stuff is a little weird, like using your airbnb account instead of his own. And relying on your company card for dates. That would make me question how together he really has his life.

At the same time, two months isn't that long to really know someone. Maybe give it some more time to see if he sticks with being caring and responsible, or if more issues come up. Definitely don't rush into anything serious if red flags keep popping up. But cutting it off totally might be premature too.

As for "manly" behavior, I don't think there's one way to define that. Seems like he tries to take care of you and be gentle, which is good, but the financial stuff is worth keeping an eye on. Overall just go with your gut - if issues start piling up, then it's prob not a good match in the long run. But if things keep going well otherwise, maybe he's worth sticking with for now to see where it leads. Just be cautious and don't settle for less than what you want long term. Hopefully this gives some perspective, lmk if any other thoughts!

[Asker]

My apologies it is his company card that he uses to take me out on lovely dates and restraunts.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahh I gotcha now, that changes things a bit. If he's using his company card to take you out to nice places, that shows he's got a good stable job to provide. Still using it half and half with his personal card is respectable too, not like he's taking total advantage.

The fact that he suggested walking in heels was maybe just him being thoughtless in the moment, not necessarily a lack of good decision making overall. And asking you to book the AirBnB since his profile was bad, while not ideal, doesn't necessarily mean he's totally lazy either. Could just be he trusts your judgment.

Honestly from what you described it still sounds like he genuinely cares about you and treats you well. As long as the physical/passion side of things is good between you two, I think those other little traits you questioned may not be total dealbreakers.

Only you know if he fits what you need long term in a life partner. But from the outside looking in, seems like this guy has a lot of good qualities and really cares for you. I'd say keep giving it more time if you feel good about him and see how the relationship grows from here. Could definitely work out!

[Asker]

Thanks for your reviewed opinion I Really appricate it.

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome

[Avicenna]

So far so good. But you need to get to know him better

[Asker]

I agree, I also feel like there is more of him I'd need to discover. It seems being out of the dating game for 15yrs and now encountering different people that most people have forgotten the art of conversation and interellectual discovery. I have found about 80% of the men I've dated had felt they did something wrong or they are being taken advantage of because I won't sleep with them by our 3rd date. Which I think is a shame for example one of the very first guys (not the guy I am going to Brighton with) I met up with, very handsome and smart guy studying to be a therapist, tell me "if I have to spend money on you everytime I see you then I'll start questioning what it is you want" after our 3rd date, I was upset by this because I thought he was better than that and also because I knew I had to stop seeing him at that point. But to be fair this dude explained he was polygamous in the conversation that followed his "spend money" comment.

[boobliker]

sorry girl you will find it hard to get a man to lead you with what women are doing to us in the courts

[Asker]

I see, I'm going to bear in mind there are valid reason why some men may not feel confident in playing their role to the fullest because of examples of worse case scenario's that media likes to pump into society. It's a shame because not every woman wants to trick or destroy a man, I want to be in my feminine when I'm with a man, I want to be lead and build a stable family. Thank for sharing your opinion.

[boobliker]

make the first move then leave it to them you may get more, and smile it make men softer

[Anonymous]

sounds like you guys are into having sex quickly instead of really getting to know each other

[Asker]

Yeah I feel its a little fast to be honest, so I don't really plan on doing anything with him. On our last date I did explain to him a couple what's app conversations and several honest hour long conversations with him in the evening doesn't amount to the 60 hours that it takes to spend with each other to become good friends with someone and that I valued proper friendship before sharing myself with anyone. He seemed to understand my point and seemed a little perplexed and so he asked me "so what do you do when your horny" to which I replied "well I have self control and so I acknowledge the feeling but I don't go out to find someone to help me overcome the feeling, I can deal with myself" seemed like that answer was a strange one to him. Thank for sharing your opinion.