Why is it normal nowadays for guys and girls on dates to split bills?

[Lara_Croft]

I live in the US. But I'm from Africa, and in Africa money issues especially as miniscule as bills for dates are a basic responsibility for the guys. I've noticed in this part of the world its almost expected that people will split the bill. I understand that it's also because of the growth of feminism and an increase in men who don't care and are without chivalry. God is Good and he redeems though it'd be nice to see a growth in traditional modesty and chivalry

[RingOfFire]

You got it right. It's about feminism. America is the most economically successful country in history because it was founded on the principles of freedom and capitalism.

Over many generations people in America have forgotten about this blessing and become spoiled. They have lots of time to play game and engage in fantasy. And many of them have lost their way.

One of the big fantasies is that somehow men and women are exactly the same and that even though they have been both physically and mentally programmed by millions of years of evolution to have very different roles in a family and in society, that they are exactly the same in every way. This is of course ridiculous. But spoiled idle minds have lots of time to engage in fantasy. This is not so for the African country and culture you came from. Your culture is "keepin' it real," as the phrase goes. The same applies to many other cultures around the world. They have a culture that is similar in many ways to the way American culture USED TO be.

Over time this perversion of the natural gender roles in America was picked up by political forces who exploit, validate and amplify it to manipulate politics in their own corrupt favor and many Americans have been brainwashed into this new "woke" culture where all you have to do is imagine something is so and that makes it true. It's like a cancer that has metastasized in Western culture pushed by the political left to destroy our society. So many people buy into the ridiculous fantasy that there is no such thing as normal gender roles. And anyone who challenges that is attacked.

That is the brief history that explains an answer to your question.

The short version is that half of Americans, particularly many in the younger generations, are brainwashed woke automatons who cannot distinguish reality from fantasy.

[loveslongnails]

This is what's known as a "tempest in a teapot", in my opinion. I'd never think of letting a lady pay for part of a date I asked HER to go on. Even if she asked ME, if I accepted, I'd pick up the check. That's my thought on the whole thing - simple.

Women mistakenly believe that if they pay their share of a check, a guy won't "expect anything", especially sex, in return. They find some peace of mind in this idea, but it's a false assumption and here's why:

* If you are on a date with the type of guy who presumes that spending ANY money on you entitles him to sex, that's his mindset from the start, and nothing you do about lessening his expense will matter. It wouldn't even matter if you paid the whole thing without being asked to - if he EXPECTS sex, it's because of his MINDSET. He figures you said "yes" to the date therefore you're attracted to him, therefore he's getting sex.

Paying your own way might make YOU "feel" like you've made the statement "I owe you nothing", but it doesn't affect the guy with the wrong mindset. If the guy doesn't have that wrong mindset to begin with, don't fight with him over a check, especially if it's nothing but a coffee and pastry.

[BlackBeauty90]

It's not feminism per se what when the concept of feminism was started by what were bored gold diggers with too much time on their hands. That's why idiots who support feminism say women never worked in the past because yes the original feminists had no reason to work... while their poor female counterparts have worked in some way or another - example sailors wives made & sold jewelry, miners wives made fabrics, etc. herbalist were more often than not women, etc - for centuries.

What it really is, is western society is predominantly degenerative. Proven by the high stats of children out of wedlock, welfare numbers, drug abuse, etc.

They split the bill because it is just a means of showing that they do not care enough to actually invest their money or time entirely into the relationship. It's half assed.

Guys who are raised properly or highly interested in a woman in the west don't do this half assed approach.

[sunflower00]

I would guess because in the past men were paid more for the same work, women had lower paid jobs in general and many women didn’t work. Whereas now most women work and can get higher paid jobs so it makes more sense to split the bill.


My boyfriend and I usually take it turn about, or if it’s my birthday he will pay and vice versa but I always offer to split the bill as it’s just polite and the right thing to do in my opinion. We earn about the same amount of money and have the same bills

[Zenpanda]

In my opinion, the one who invites the other to a date pays.
If the date goes well and a next date is welcomed, the other sets up the date and pays for that one.
That or each pays for themselves.
Splitting on a date is weird because you never eat the same worth.
When it goes from dating to a relationship, you either split the bill, each pays for their own, you take turns or return the favor in other ways, like paying for something else.
There is no reason why men should always pay on dates.
To show they care or to be chivalrous is stupid.
Because that would mean that women have no need to show they care.
And if women don't care, why would we?

[Lara_Croft]

It's innate, that desire to provide because the man came first. At least in my opinion, I can afford to pay for dates always but a guy who comes out first asking me to pay for dates often raises eyebrows. I'll pay but look at him like oh, he's that kind of guy. And then it's probably over depending on the position of his heart and his why. I'm reasonable

[Zenpanda]

If a girl always expects me to pay and doesn't pay when asking me out, I'll stop seeing her myself.
Imagine getting asked to the movies by someone you like and when at the ticket counter they look at you like "well, are you going to pay or what? Also I want a coke and popcorn".
It just doesn't work like that to me.

[Lara_Croft]

I see and I hear you, I don't think I wouldn't always let my guy pay. But I'd want him to expect to know that he's the man in the relationship. And since I believe I'm generous i will offer to pay a good amount of the time but the guy should know he's the man. Where I'm from, it's very basic probably because the guys are looking for Marriage and the girl would have a bunch of other suitors who regard providing in that sense as basic. Are you looking to get married?

[Zenpanda]

No I'm not. I don't really see the importance of marriage. But if I get a partner and everything goes well for enough time, I'd consider marriage.
It'll mostly depend on what he/she wants.

[Lara_Croft]

You're bisexual?

[Zenpanda]

Pansexual actually, I don't care one bit about what someone's gender is.
I like someone for who they are and what they look like. Boobs, penis, vagina, masculine, feminine, long hair, short hair.
I can fall for anyone, it's up to the individual.

[Lara_Croft]

I see. God is Good. It is well

[Zenpanda]

I take it you are very much against the fact that I'm pansexual?

[Lara_Croft]

😂😂 Not at all. It's just a lot of times based on my internet interactions a lot of the guys and people who are of that sexual orientation get offended by my discourse since I'm Christian and my lens and worldview is based on my faith on Jesus. And unintentionally I can ruffle a few feathers. But you seem like a great guy

[Zenpanda]

Hehe thank you.
The misunderstanding from me was seeing a very short response along with God being mentioned.
I've had a lot of religious people condemn me and throw aside my opinions upon finding out I'm pansexual 😅
FYI I'm not offended by your discourse.
We are two different people and we were having a discussion, a civil one at that might I add.
I'm fine with religion and religious people, I've read the Bible myself.
I am not religious myself, but I think everyone has the right to believe whatever they want.
As long a you don't push those beliefs on me or others, I'm fine with it.
I think you're a great girl too.
We have different stances, views and opinions, but that doesn't mean either one of us is wrong or bad.
That's the whole point of opinions and discussions. It's sharing your view.

[Lara_Croft]

I see. That's awesome, you're a gem, precious and fearfully and wonderfully made. I just think being bogged down on subjective truth which is what my or your opinion about the world is causes a lot of heartbreak. The pursuit of truth, the truth has been thrown out the window by many That's why we're in chaos. Religious or otherwise. I'm an avid Christian btws

[Zenpanda]

I live my life the easiest way, for me there is one big truth.
All of us have one life and that life is finite.
Try to live life the best you can in your own way and try to do as little harm to others as possible.
With few regrets your life isn't wasted.

[Lara_Croft]

Why don't you believe if you don't mind me asking

[Zenpanda]

I used to believe in God, but I got to reading the Bible and talking to religious people and too much just didn't make sense to me.
God created everything, then created a man. God told the man that everything was his except the fruit from the tree of knowledge, for if he ate it he would surely die.
Then he made a woman, she came into contact with a serpent whom told her that God lied. She ate the fruit and convinced the man to eat it as well.
They gained knowledge of good and evil, they gained shame for they were naked.
They however did not die.
The serpent told the truth, God did lie.
God punished man, God punished the woman and God punished the serpent.
The serpent was the devil and yet God punished the entire species of animal whom the devil was disguised as. Then God banished them from the garden before they could eat from the tree of life and death as well. Because eating from both would make them equal to the angels (if I'm correct).
That's just one example that got me to question things and it's at the very start of the Bible.
God is always portrait as the ultimate good guy and the devil as the ultimate evil.
God directly caused the death of millions, condemns those that don't believe in God or in other gods, God is almighty and all knowing, yet does nothing to end the suffering of the world.
The devil on the other side did 3 main things.
Convinced eve to eat the fruit.
Led a revolt against god for giving preferential treatment to his human creations.
Directly caused the death of 10 people.
Tries to make people sin and when they go to hell makes them suffer (making people suffer in hell is literally the job God forces the devil to do).
But mostly above all, I can't base my faith on a book written by humans.
The bible to me is nothing more than a book with a story, because outside of it I don't see anything that makes me believe in a higher entity.

[Lara_Croft]

Wait, God didn't lie. He said if they ate of that fruit they would die. So where did he lie? The devil is the enemy of humanity but he's a small thing too small in fact that Angels and not God himself conquered him when he fell from heaven. So they aren't equal and opposite forces. When you say why can't God end suffering and yet you don't want God to intervene in your opinions and decisions isn't that double standards? Chose one or the other. Adam and Eve knew the truth and were in bliss but somehow the devil convinced them they were lied to and oppressed. He lied to them because they did die and were the proof of that as descendants. As for the Bible being written by man, it is inspired by God 2 Timothy 3 vs 16. At least consider its prophecies that have come to pass and are still coming to pass. They should mean something and the fact that Jesus is the only religious founder who says he's alive in comparison to other religions. If you don't believe God exists yet you believe that a house has a builder how can that make sense given the diversity of life and creation in earth. Surely there must be something or someone that started it all. The big bang? Yes indeed. God Said let there be light and bang because he spoke it came to pasa

[Zenpanda]

Adam and Eve would've lived for much longer, God took that away from humanity, not the fruit itself. If not a lie it was a mean trick by God.
It's like if I'd tell you that you will die if you eat certain orange, you eat it and I shoot you.
Chose one or the other?
If you have children and you have the ability to prevent these children from suffering from a plethora of diseases and illnesses, but you also have the power to intervene in their opinions and decisions. Would it not be an easy choice to prevent the bad that they have no fault in and still leave them their free will?
If someone is stupid and they break a leg due to their own actions, that is a form of suffering that is directly influenced by their free will and I see no reason for God to intervene in that.
But the very existence of a strain of cancer that effects only children, the most pure and innocent in all of creation.
I do not understand why God wouldn't wipe that away.
If I had the power to prevent that, I would without a second thought.
The Bible being inspired by God, I have a problem with that, the simple fact that the only evidence that it was inspired by God is that it was written in the very book we're speaking about.
The big bang, sure it fits the narrative of let there be light, but the very idea of them being the same thing doesn't work.
The big bang happened but the results of the big bang took an unbelievable amount of time to happen.
Not one day.
If anything, let there be light would reference the light of the stars and the sun as visible to us. So just a miniscule fraction of the universe.

[Lara_Croft]

Bruv, he said eat anything but that fruit or you'll die. They ate it and it's their fault that we're in suffering. If they hadn't ate it we would be living forever in that garden rn. But they messed up and then God again had to come and give up his only son allow his death at the hands of Adam's Children just so Adam's Children could be saved. Now that is love. Not only that after they sinned, he had to kill animals to clothe them. Like God keeps cleaning up after our mistakes. He provides solutions for our every mistake. And that's crazy cause it's like what did we do to deserve it? Nothing. He just loves, God loves because he is Love and we can only love because he loved first. Children suffer because Adam &Eve but now God is working on the mess that was left. When God says don't do something he means business. The eating of one fruit brought death, sickness, and all kinds of evil and suffering. But God said fine my only begotten son has to die for them because I love them. That's our story, that the Bible's story. Humanity messes up again and again and Jesus comes in. Scientists study the creator, their field exists because God said and did. But they would rather chose worldly wisdom because they can't 'see God'. yet God in Romans 1 says his existence is proved in all creation. People would rather believe in a textbook than the Bible. Even morality is not man-made because otherwise it'd be selfish, it is God authored in the 10 commandments

[Zenpanda]

So we all have to suffer because of what God's first two creations did and you think that is fair?
Imagine a child did something wrong and you punish not only the child but every generation stemming from that child.
Also god sending his son to earth to die to take away our sins? How does that even work?
If God wants to forgive, he can, God is all mighty.
He sent his son to earth to die for no reason.
He could've easily done without.
Also "people would rather believe in a textbook than the Bible", isn't that very ironic seeing as the Bible is also, just a book?
"even morality isn't man-made because otherwise it'd be selfish"
I believe everything we do is selfish.
Literally everything.
But I don't think that's bad.
Name one thing that in the end isn't selfish.
Even self sacrifice is selfish, because you do it because because it makes you feel good.

[Lara_Croft]

Adam and Eve were told they would die and die they did. They did wrong, why are you blaming God? He gave them free will and they used it according to their unrighteous judgement and now God has to pick up the pieces. Why dont you look at things from God's perspective for a sec, you consider him the enemy, yet he gave the free will, the sacrifice and everything people crave. God forgave, he forgives. He said if you truly believe I've forgiven you, you'll believe in my son Jesus Christ. Doesn't that sound easy? He didn't say, kill anybody or do any thing. He said believe Romans 10 vs 9. The Gospel is simple confess him and believe him. The part of Jesus' mystery is that he's the word that was at the beginning and he became flesh so Lara Croft, Zenpanda and billions would be saved. Look at things from Jesus' angle for a sec. Civil discourse is when you look at both sides. Agape love, which is self sacrificing is not selfish. Sacrifice is the antithesis of selfish because you give up yourselves and desires not because it makes you feel Good but because you think that person means everything to you and in God's case he gave himself. Aka his only begotten son, who was at the beginning. The Alpha and Omega. Isn't it crazy that if there's that 1% chance that Jesus 'Gospel is truth then we all have to repent and return to God. Just 1% disturbs equilibrium. Take that risk I'd say other than living and dying and having nothing to show for except, work, sleep, sex, food and mundane things. There is Objective truth, his name is Jesus

[Zenpanda]

Did Adam and Eve deserve punishment?
Sure they disobeyed.
What reason could God possibly have to punish all of humanity for it?
God gave us free will, yet restricts that free will.
God is basically saying "you have two options, you either obey my rules written in this book or burn for all eternity. You're free to choose".
Also have to love the choice of judging humanity by sending your son to a small city where people believe in multiple gods to have this random man declare that he is the son of the one true God.
Try that again today and see if you're not labeled as insane and mentally deranged.
Better yet try it in certain countries and the outcome will also be comparable.
God could so easily just make his existence apparent and most of humanity would believe. But he doesn't.
You have to read a book, believe its contents as truth and devote your life to the writings in this book.
No outside evidence or motivations to show this book as truth.
No, here's a book.
Read it, believe it, follow it, otherwise you're doomed.
Any reason it's not made clear?
By let's say, God himself.
Nope, it's the good book and it's good because the good book says so.

[Lara_Croft]

So when Adam and Eve disobeyed what should God have done since you think you have better judgement than God? Forgive them? And then what next after they disobeyed. Even when Cain killed his brother and was haughty towards God, God said let no man touch or kill Cain. It's not even people with multiple God's who killed Jesus, it was the Jews themselves. Jesus says before Abraham was I am. So the Jews who believed in the God of Abraham killed the only begotten son of the God of Abraham. The Bible says even if a dead man would wake up and tell people he'll is real, humans still wouldn't repent as per the story of Lazarus the poor and the rich man. My pastor likes to say Shut up The Bible is Talking. And that's not a jibe at you, it's just my talk on everything. You were a zygote a few years ago, you found and earth and you will leave it behind in death. Strive to find the truth, who are you and why are you here. Don't just sleep, eat and enjoy. Too many people have done that. You aren't a means to an end. Jesus is the way the truth and the life. People are willing to discover and understand microbes and dinosaurs to the point of spending billions on excavation and research. But reading one book and understanding who the creator is just unfathomable. You want that which you can see but God is creator of all creation, creator of the universe. If he says you can know of my existence by looking at my creation what's so hard to believe? Of he says read my word and pursue it, what's wrong. People literally are saved are healed in the name of Jesus, there's no other name like that. Worldly wisdom wroughts nought but look at things from his perspective The devil himself who deceives you, who deceives the world along with his demons trembles at God but hardens your heart because he wants you to be punished with him. Open your heart bruv, open your eyes. Ask God these questions and he is sure to answer if you don't doubt as per James 1 vs 5-6.

[Zenpanda]

No I wouldn't forgive Adam and Eve, but I also wouldn't punish all of humanity that came after for the sins committed by those before them.

There is no evidence that anything written in the Bible about God is factual.
If I hand you a book that is as old as the Bible, except in it god is replaced by a deity called Nod who doesn't create everything nor does he have the power to influence people, he just planted the seed of life on this planet and guides the natural evolution of the things that already are present. No heaven, no hell, no Jesus, no devil.
Most of the Bible isn't present in the book with the exception of Adam and Eve, the first two actual humans to evolve from other creatures.
Nod sees the potential in these creatures, they are more advanced than all the other creatures he has seen so far.
Yet Nod will not now nor ever interfere with the creatures on this planet. He did his work.
He planted to seed to start life on a suitable planet and that seed contained but 2 abilities.
Life would start and that life would evolve.
Nod is the only deity that exists and the proof of his existence is everywhere. Look around you, there is life in all shapes and sizes.
From the smallest bacteria to the fossilized remains of giant creatures we called dinosaurs.

Which would you believe
The book that says there is god, with as proof that he exists is the book says so and a whole lot of things we can't see or prove plus look at everything you can see.
Or a book that says there is Nod, with as proof that life started, evolved and continues to evolve. It chronicles life from single cell to human. No claims of things we can't see or prove except for the existence of Nod. But it's written in the book so that shouldn't be a problem for you to judge this deity by.
So please tell me, objectively, what would make you choose the Bible over the book of Nod.

[Lara_Croft]

I am a Bible-believing Christian not just because I grew up in a Christian home and country but because I have seen Jesus himself pull through for me. When I was very intimate with God, I would hear his voice loud and clear prophesying to me things that would come to pass in the future and they would. I have had suicidal struggles, money problems, heartbreaks and by calling on Jesus I have been saved from disaster. I don't share a faith I have no direct experience with, Paul himself says the kingdom of God is about the demontsration of power and not just words 1 Corinthians 4 vs 20. I have seen people healed from sickness all by believing in the power of the name of the Lord Jesus. This is not a joke, you may think it is because you're American (I assume) and you think the whole world revolves around you; your right to self-expression, vote, freedom of speech, life. In the end your life will mean nothing if you don't actually find out the truth about life. You seem to Glory in your ignorance and you're so strong to want to disprove that God exists. He does, there's no bulding without a builder. If you want to know this for sure, ask God himself with a willing, undoubting heart and read the scriptures with an open mind. God himself will talk to you. He is much more real than anything, He is The I am that I am

[Zenpanda]

I'm actually Dutch (from the Netherlands).
I used to pray as a child, I was even an alterboy and all.
My grandmother was really religious.
I never heard an answer to my prayers, I was never granted relief from my pain or troubles.
My grandmother prayed a lot, went to church, followed the Bible, she got a total of 5 types of cancer and died without ever getting an answer or relief.
Entire countries suffer starvation, disease, poverty. They probably pray more and more earnest than any other person.
They die, in suffering.
Many of them are children.
The fact that children die of disease, hunger and poverty simply makes me believe even less in a good god.
When my day comes and it is revealed to me that I will be judged by God, I can honestly say that I do not regret the way I lived my life.
I will not ask for forgiveness.
If it turns out God and the devil are real, heaven and hell, the ones in the Bible.
I am certain I will end up in hell.
And honestly, I'll welcome it.
The god as described in the Bible will never get my respect, praise or humility.
I will enter hell and hope for an audience with the devil, so I tell him I'm sorry for the treatment he has received, that I'm sorry for being declared the bad guy, that I wish I could take away his suffering.

[Lara_Croft]

Do you mind if I text you privately? I would like to continue our conversation of that's okay. Thanks for sharing btws

[Zenpanda]

Sure, go ahead

[Lara_Croft]

It's giving me an error when I try to message you.

[nastyb]

sweetie, when you rely on a man to feed you, he also has the power to starve you.

financial abuse was the reason why women wanted to start working.

modern women like you have no idea how bad it was to constantly rely on a man for everything.

[Lara_Croft]

I am a Christian woman not a modern one, I confirm to God's standard not the current one. Women wated independence from men. The Proverbs 31 woman doesn't actually rely on her husband for finances, she's a multi-tasker but she does it for the sake of her home not to glory in her successes.

[nastyb]

@lara_croft

Multi tasking is why more women are initiating divorces than ever before. Theyre working jobs while doing all the work at home too. Their husbands do less.

Understand the more you multi task, the more stressed you become

[Lara_Croft]

I understand that. You say this but yet at first you were implying women should be independent. And then when I say the Proverbs 31 woman is resourceful you imply that being a full time SAHM is better?😂

[nastyb]

@lara_croft

there are consequences to both but I think being a working mom is way better.

everyone loves glorifying stay home mom's life but nobody talks about the dark stuff. when you rely on a man for everything, he becomes your boss. you are at the mercy of his power. if he is angry with you, he won't give you any allowance. he can starve you. Yet you can't divorce him because you know you can't survive without his income. Yea... you can get a low wage job at a super market but its not gonna pay the bills or feed the kids. if you're in an abusive marriage, you can't leave because you need his income. In other words, he can do whatever he wants to you and you're obligated to stay because you have to.

stay home moms are not resourceful at all... they're one of the laziest, least resourceful people ever.

[nastyb]

if your husband decides to leave you for another woman, you will be left with a minimum wage job , struggling to pay the bills, feed the kids...

when a man provides you with everything, he also has the power to take away everything.

[Lara_Croft]

So it is better if your children never see enough of you? It's better to have them get raised by someone else because you're afraid. Proverbs 31 woman is resourceful, SAHMs these days have online businesses and stuff. A corporate career is your pursuing yourself and hoping to balance it with marriage life. If you;re doing it to Glorify God that's awesome not just because you're afraid your husband will leave. What kind of life is that

[nastyb]

@lara_croft

Children seeing more of stay home mom is a lie.

Kids spend most of their time at school, not at home with their mom.

When i was a kid, i got out of school at 3pm. I stayed at an after school program for 3 hrs everyday so teachers can help us with homework. By 6 pm, my dad would pick me up and bring me home

I got to see my parents every night. Missing out on being with parents just 3 hrs a day is really not a big deal.

Lastly, you have no idea HOW MUCH MONEY it takes to successfully raise a child.

How do you feel about telling your kid that he can't attend college cus you can't afford it? Mom stayed home instead of working a job so now she's too broke to send her kids for a higher education. Now the kid is forced to work a low wage job struggling to pay rent for the rest of his life

You need a lot of money to successfully raise children.

[nastyb]

[you;re doing it to Glorify God that's awesome not just because you're afraid your husband will leave. What kind of life is that]

Would u stay in a marriage where you're being cheated on and abused? All for the sake of being there for the kids?

[madhatters4]

the idea is that the two people are equal.

the idea is that if women can work and earn money they can hold up their financial end. i think it also empowers women to not feel like they owe the man anything because they are somehow in debt to them. it also takes pressure off guys who may not feel capable of covering two meals every date.

[Lara_Croft]

They've always been Equal but different. You're the man, show up

[madhatters4]

they've always been equal? really? women couldn't vote, own land, run for office, they could be legally raped by spouses, they couldn't file for divorce at times.
that is not equality. not at all

[Lara_Croft]

They have always been equal in value is what I'm trying to say. Speaking straight facts, less than 4% of women wanted to vote during the suffragates movement in the US because of the responsibilities it came with. You say they were less equal but women are treated more like trash and disposables much more than they were back then. Back then they were revered as the true gems they were; homemakers, providers in a sense. Nowadays it's like; immoral men which is a lot of men see them as sex magnates and tools for their pleasure. Women were valued back then than now

[_piotr]

They were not equal in value. Men were almost always treated as disposable trash. See Titanic. Women and children were saved while men had to die, just because they were born male.

[colaman94]

I am from Australia and I would 'usually' insist (agreeably and politely) on split bills. After all, it's an equal modern world 👀 maybe it's just me. I don't mind splitting bills, maybe future dates would be she pays, or I pay it all, or vice versa. It's mixture or spontaneous or maybe just set for me at split bills.
Ah well 😀😁

[colaman94]

I am a modern male after all, at 29. I may not be a bravado man, yet I can say a modern male 😏 I wouldn't say I'm still an immature boy 👌🏻😁 neither a man, just a male ♂️

[Lara_Croft]

For me, it's either the guy pays or I pay the whole bill. There's no splitting

[colaman94]

Oh, any particular reason? :)

[colaman94]

Oh I didn't read the bio properly of the question. All good.

[Unit1]

• Practicality / Pragmatism
• Not making us feel like being used for money, so the girl signals "hey, don't worry. I'm not after a free meal (and then ghost on you)" or "Just so you know, you cannot buy me with money"
• Balancing equality
• Salaries and prices and inflation are out of control in undesirable manners
• Fuck traditions. It's overdue to adapt to current times and situations accordingly

[Lara_Croft]

Modern day progressivism is the most backward thing ever. Compare men and women's intelligence, wit, modesty, thinking capacity today to that of at most 100 years. Info agr yet people are dumber and Godless. Chose Jesus guys

[ProbablyClueless]

There's some weird bullshit going on in western culture these days between men and women. Basically, enough women have dealt with or heard about awful men trying to use gifts and financial gestures to guilt women into sexual exchanges that some quantity of women get extremely uncomfortable with the idea of "owing" men anything.

[Twalli]

Well we'd have to back to the reason guys used to pay for all dates. Girls didn't have money or jobs. They were required to stay at home and provide for the man who chose what the money would be used for. Maybe you want to go back to the time where women were little more than property. I personally don't.

[Lara_Croft]

Bruh. The Proverbs 31 woman herself was resourceful and provides for her family. So no, women are much more regarded as commodities in today's age more than back then. Back then bodies weren't just repositories for sexual deviance

[Twalli]

Don't take me on regarding History. Unless you have a degree, I know more.

[Lara_Croft]

I do have a degree actually 😂

[Twalli]

In history? Then we're on equal footing unless you went to a university that is world renowned for its history program.

[Tim2nice]

You hold very old fashioned views. Men traditionally used to pay on dates because women didn’t work back in the day and otherwise would’ve had to borrow money from their fathers to pay their way

[Lara_Croft]

No I think they paid because they wanted to impress every wanted to differentiate themselves because they were looking for marriage

[_piotr]

No. Because most women were not working/earning much back then. It is good that it changed. Women are not gods. You are human as a man is. Men is not your slave. What you are saying is just an excuse for being lasy and having ill pride, that because you are women you are superior.

[Lara_Croft]

@_piotr Bruv, who hurt you? God is Good. Jesus is my King. I don't think I am superior to man neither have I ever said that. What is really going on with you? Who hurt you?

[_piotr]

If Jesus is your King then stop with your pride, that men need to pay for you because you are above them because you are women. Jesus taught to be humble. The Bible says "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled." So stop boosting how you deserve to be paid for because you are women. What an unbelievable entitlement.

[_piotr]

boosting -> boasting

[Lara_Croft]

@_piotr I don't deserve to be paid, I can afford to pay the bill for my dates. I grew up In a culture where men are very much happy to pay the bill without question. I don't need a man to, it's just basic as I have said. You're a man bruv. A MAN. Go find a wife someway and stop mulling over insignificant things

[_piotr]

"I don't deserve to be paid" <-- Good! We have breakthrough!

"You're a man" <--- in your mouth it almost sounds like an insult.

"significant things" <-- All little things are all very significant. All this little things combine together into your worldview.

"Go find a wife" <--- I do not need execute your commands. You are used to giving men orders, don't you? (Bible states it is optional - (1 Corinthians 7) "It is good for a man not to marry." )

I just hope one day you will understand that men have feelings and are the same human beings as you. Have a nice day.

[Billlewis]

I guarantee you that it's not the norm. I don't consider a date successful unless I'm able to pay for it, and I also try to get her to let me pay for her dates with other guys, as well.

[Lara_Croft]

You almost always have something crazy to add at the end of your comments

[Billlewis]

While I can certainly understand why this probably sounds strange to you, there's actually a method to my madness -- by offering to pay for her dates with other guys, I'm able to let her know that I'm seeking a very one sided relationship, and that even if she isn't interested in me sexually, she can nevertheless reap substantial benefits from me by continuing to see me.

[Lara_Croft]

But a Godly and sane woman would want only to be with you. Why haven't you married yet? Sorry if it sounds rude just asking because of your age

[Billlewis]

I was married many years ago, but I prefer to remain single nowadays, to give me greater flexibility to serve women.

[Lara_Croft]

Why? If you don't mind sharing. Did your past relationship leave ugly scars?

[Billlewis]

No, not at all.

[Billlewis]

I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me as well if you want.

[Anonymous]

In a world of gender equality where young women earn just as much as men their age, why WOULDN'T they split the bills on dates? The answer: female entitlement and double standards.

THINK about it... give us one valid reason why women should not be expected to pay their share on a date. Just one. Go on, I'll wait...

[Lara_Croft]

It's so basic. I'll tell you this, as a Godly high value woman. I expect my husband to expect to pay not because of double standards but because where I come from it's so basic. I believe I'm generous, so I would pay a good amount of the time. But he should knows he's the man and it's an innate trait-being able to provide. If you're not looking to get marriage that's when you think dating bills are such a big Deal but to me they are so Basic

[Opinion Owner]

That's all fine and good as long as you, as a high value woman, will fullfill all the traditional female gender roles too. If so, then yes, you are a high value woman, and you deserve a man who provides for you.

But if you are liek tha vast majority of women today who expect men to continue fulfilling the traditional male gender roles, but expect "gender equality" in all the others ways, then you are a low value women who does indeed perpetuate sexist double standards.

Yeah, seems very basic indeed.

[Lara_Croft]

Yes😂, I suppose we are somewhat on the same page. I have been told it's good that I'm 'submissive' and that I know my place because I'm traditional. I know my place alright-it's with Jesus

[Opinion Owner]

In that case, we are on the same page. I hope you find yourself a man who is worthy of you and treats you like gold. He will be a lucky man.

[Lara_Croft]

Awww, thank you so much. God is Good, that's my prayer. May God Almighty bless you!

[_piotr]

[I come from it's so basic.] Because there men are still brainwashed that they need to be women slaves. [an innate trait-being able to provide.] It is not.
Bills are important because they expose your worldview -> Women superior, men inferior. This for me is evil. I would never marriage someone like you. I do need somebody to threat me like a doormat, just because I was born male.

[Opinion Owner]

@_piotr Bro, why do you feel the need to hijack my exchange with her? Fuck off.

[Lara_Croft]

@_piotr Bruv. It is innate when you are born a male for you to provide just as certain characteristics are innate within women. I don't consider men doormats, I will respect my husband and be submissive to him as a wife and we'll be under Christ. A bill is so basic tho. If you feel offended by me saying a man should always be ready to pay, thats crazy. I would pay a good portion of the time but we're just never splitting it. He pays or I pay

[Lara_Croft]

Let him be😂

[Lady_Heart]

Right behind you sister! Apparently there a guy here even saying making a man pay for you makes you a gold digger😂

[Lara_Croft]

Bruh, you shouldn't even have to make him pay. In Africa men are a different breed, so are the women. They understand their value and pursue marriage when dating.

[Peter_Penetrator]

I was born and raised in the US. I would never request that my date and I “go dutch”. That is just tacky and not manly.


You would think that a woman would see her date wanting to “go dutch” as a huge red flag.

[Nikki1989]

Most men in America have little to offer, let alone money to spend on a date.

[Lara_Croft]

I think the scarcity mindset is also a problem, one purported by social media.

[love_conquers_lust]

@lara_croft It's America. It's how we're built.

@Nikki1989 Brutal.

[Anonymous]

Men of the past were more than happy to pay for dates and do all the traditional gender roles expected of them, but not anymore, because women won't do the same. You can't expect one without the other. You as a woman can't expect men to be traditional when you are not willing to be traditional yourself, but that's exactly what you're doing.

You women have yourselves to thank for this. Stop blaming men for the condition you yourselves created.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm for paying for myself. I hate creating the feeling of dependency between me and some random guy. And from my perspective, God has no say in this.

[Paris13]

As Many Dates and Mates That I Have Had... Second or Third Date Should Be Discussed with This One, hun. Guy Pays FIRST DATE. xxoo

[BoopBoopBeep]

I don't think I've ever split a bill or been asked to. Whoever invites the other person has always paid and I've been dating for 35 years. Where are all these split bill people living?

[_piotr]

Because it is unfair when men always have to pay. God is good and just that is, why I do not believe that He condones such evil, wicked practices as forcing men to be subservient to women and exploited.

[DubiousIntentions]

I must be tired. At first, I thought you said "spit balls", not "split bills. 😯🥱😴😴

[jahaims]

Most women aren't traditional anymore so guys are adjusting, otherwise females get the pros without the cons and the males get the cons without the pros.

[Lara_Croft]

I hear you but go for the traditional women. There's plenty of em. Keep the chivalry, keep running after God keep the modesty. Just because a select number of women are contrary to modesty and such doesn't mean Men should follow suit. That's how they drive themselves of the chance of being seen by high value women. God is Good!

[Likes2drive]

Just as many women as men work now, so and because of feminism, it definitely has changed everything and not much traditionalism going on in America anymore unfortunately

[colaman94]

And some women insist on paying their way, go figure 👌🏻👍 I have no qualms about it

[Likes2drive]

@colaman94 Yeah the past few dates would do that instead of letting me pay the whole thing, sometimes I think they do that just so they don’t feel obligated or owe me anything afterwards, some women think you’ll think like they owe you sex because you paid for the dinner

[colaman94]

Indeed and similar reasons of just it's a modern world. I don't mind it. I also think that it's more telling or intriguing if women are still interested even after they split bills e. g. for another date or they say meet again or they even say, 💋

[colaman94]

Nobody likes to owe debts 😏 with or without interest or tax on top also haha, 😆 sad 😢

[colaman94]

(Light hearted banter) 😁

[Likes2drive]

@colaman94 oh ok, gotcha

[genericname85]

because nowadays women are equal to men. isn't that what women want?

[Lara_Croft]

We've always been equal in worth and value. Jesus died for all

[genericname85]

no he didn't. yes if he existed, he probably died and that's all there is to it. and no we had vastly different gender roles just one generation ago.

[Lara_Croft]

He is risen

[genericname85]

this isn't part of the topic and you should definitely stop claiming stuff that you don't know to be true, cause that's a form of lying.

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

One reason is everything is so expensive. A bottle of beer can be six or seven dollars, mixed drink is about ten dollars food a week's salary. Thank you Senile Joe Biden.

[LiamJHayden]

Women have been conned. The average girl is in higher demand than the average guy, As this is the case, she has more leverage to get a better deal, but many do not use it.

[Anonymous]

Because it should be the norm. It's part of gender equality.

[Lara_Croft]

Men and women have always been equal in value. I'm talking about simple chivalry where because a man is a man he shows up in that way. Ain't nothing wrong with tradition in that sense. Men and women should start dating to marry that's how they'll see how the small the price is for dates if they're dating to find a forever partner aka husband or wife

[Jamie05rhs]

Statistically, you're not going to marry the first person you go on a date with. So why should you be giving them your money? That would be insane.

[sparklycoconut]

if that's what you want then find someone who thinks like you?

[Anonymous]

i wish it wasn't. it's very annoying to have to split bills, pull out two cards, tell them which item is for which card. i hate it all.

[Slim57]

The economy and prices are all jacked up so it's only natural people split on dates to help each other out

[Lara_Croft]

Get married bro. Stop dating every woman out there. Get married, date to marry. Have strong Godly values, vet and find Godly woman and then you'll have double income

[Slim57]

Tell that to my girlfriend, not me

[Lara_Croft]

😂😂 do you want to marry her?

[Slim57]

Eventually yeah

[Lara_Croft]

Nah bro, even peasants used to find ways to entreat their potential wives. Money can never be an excuse if you truly want to pursue and marry a woman. If you're a $500k a year kind of guy you will treat her according to your ability. If you're a $30k kind of guy the same-according to your pocket. A reasonable woman won't expect extravagance if her suitor is of below means. It's the thought that counts. God dig a hole, plant an orchard and tell her that's for you. Money is the one excuse that is the most ridiculous. Be creative about dates, google something bruv. God bless you!

[Nifrayu]

Was that not always normal? I've never minded splitting the bills.

[msc545]

To hell with Chivalry - get a job and pay your own bills like an adult.

[Anonymous]

It’s fair if the bill is split, especially on a first date if it doesn’t go right and you don’t want to see each other. Splitting is the only respectful option

[colaman94]

And sometimes for all we or I know, the other person may 'politely insist' on splitting bills. 👍

[Opinion Owner]

Well damn wouldn’t low maintenance be nice lol

[shortster]

Because people don't understand basic etiquette. If you invite someone out you should pay for it.

[MsBrie]

Money can be an issue in the states too.

[Adogdog]

Not sure, I would pay for the girls always.

[Lara_Croft]

That's great to know! I think a person's dating etiquette in this issue, male or female is a reflection of their heart

[Adogdog]

Aww that's sweet :)

[Lara_Croft]

😂😂 I meant it in a serious way not a sweet way. Like seriously

[Adogdog]

You should message me 😂😂

[Lara_Croft]

😂😂 What about

[Adogdog]

What ever you want :)

[Lara_Croft]

I'm Christian I'm not that kind of girl. Unless you have Bible verses or something Godly you wanna discuss 🙃✌️

[Adogdog]

You never know unless you say hello :)

[Lara_Croft]

What's your favorite Bible verse bruv

[Adogdog]

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths"

[Lara_Croft]

Proverbs 3 vs 5-6 is a good one. So you're a Godly guy? Or are you going with the flow, googling Bible verses and stuff

[Adogdog]

I guess you would have to get to know me better to find out lol

[Lara_Croft]

You can message me if you like. But be warned

[Adogdog]

It's blocking me, you would have to message me.

[Luopio27]

So the girl wouldn't be labelled as a Ho!

[007kingifrit]

because feminists ruined that for ya

[whistlingwh0res]

What do Africans do in Africa?

[Lara_Croft]

Definitely not stay hungry all day

[Lara_Croft]

Jk. The guy usually knows that being able to provide is basic. So like if he's dating a guy, splitting is not in question because her other possible suitors won't think twice about paying for the date. Especially since both parties would be serious about Marriage

[Anonymous]

I'll pay if I invited her on the date.

[Opinion Owner]

And that's almost always going to be the case

[Lara_Croft]

What is your philosophy on this in a general sense

[Opinion Owner]

It just makes sense for me to pay in full when it was my idea. I'm the same way with freinds. I'm not going to suggest we go get food and then expect them to pay.

[Lara_Croft]

But friends is different. If you're the guy looking to get married. A potential future wife is big deal. The only problem here is that à select number of guys date to sleep around or just for the vibes. That's why cumulatively paying for dates can look like something they should split since they wouldn't be taking out their potential future wife out

[Opinion Owner]

I'm always going to pay if I invite her, but I don't like the fact that so many women feel entitled to my money. Or they are just looking for a free meal. I don't think it's fair to expect a guy to go all out on the first date when he's still trying to figure out if he even likes you.

[Lara_Croft]

Are you looking to get married?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, to my current girlfriend who has given me a child and has proved time and time again that she deserves to be spoiled.

You have to remember that on a first date we are basically strangers and have no idea if we are actually compatible. I will do my best to ensure that she feels safe/respected, but I have every right to make sure I'm not being played before I start spending money on her.

[Lara_Croft]

May God bless your future marriage in Jesus' mighty name. I see, but I suppose a lot of guys date for the vibes and to hookup so the price looks hefty-the price of paying for dates. But for guys that are serious about marriage from the word go, it's but a small price but women should show Grace enough to pay for some dates as well. In my opinion

[In_Trance]

Yeah