How strongly do you agree with the statement: 'most of my exes would take me back'?

Question

This question was on a dating site quiz. I think it would fall under the confidence/extraversion category of the big 5 personality test. I don't know though, I would think that someone that chooses strongly agree is narcissistic and dangerous to date, as it kind of implies that it was them that did most of the dumping, right? Other opinions of the significance of that question? Would you want to date someone that answered strongly agree?

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

I think if they really had no other options and I was still on their mind, they would probably try to take me back. I say this because almost all of the women who ended things with me later on tried to reach out casually only because they were just trying to see if we could get on talking terms again which would be an open door for them to try to come back. I never took any of them back.

"I would think that someone that chooses strongly agree is narcissistic and dangerous to date, as it kind of implies that it was them that did most of the dumping, right?"
- I don't think it necessarily implies that. But I think the question itself is supposed to be somewhat tricky in that whatever answers people give will either make someone think they must be good value or good at sex if most of their exes would take them back, or make people think they're not good value to keep being recycled.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't think anyone should answer that way. I would answer "I would hope that they would take me back". Because all you can do is try to be a good, honorable person in life. After that it's kind of out of your hands. I think too many people walk this line of feeling they need to project confidence. But if you need to PROJECT anything how is that real confidence. I KNOW not everyone is going to value or like me. But the important ones do (the people I love) and that's all that matters to me. If someone doesn't see my inherent value that's their loss. That's the way I see it.

AviatorTom · Answer

In the right circumstances. a few of my exes might consider getting back together, but most of them have moved on and wouldn't even consider it.

Anonymous · Answer

Funny how I saw more women voting A and B and more men voting D and E.

Here we the key reasons for this gender gap:

I truly believe it’s harder for a man to date his female equivalent then vice versa due to hypergamy
Women who indulge hypergamy don’t find themselves being able to keep higher value men in relationships. They often get pumped and dumped by those guys. Not married to them like many hoped. So the “ex” dynamic doesn’t apply here given there was no real relationship to begin with
It is a proven statistic that women file for divorces at over twice the rate that men do. I don’t have the stats for dating but I’m quite certain women break in relationships most of the time.
Women often plan break ups much further in advance then men. They already build up a mental case against the guy even though she’s still technically dating him. During this phase she looks for additional problems/quirks to confirm her decision and permanently get rid of the guy.
Men are not special for just existing. They are only valued by females if there something in it for the woman (she’s in love with him, he’s got money, etc.). But once she determines he can no longer meet her needs he’s completely expendable. She will almost never take him back after at that point unless she realizes truly made a stupid decision and found the hard way (all future men she dated treat her like crap). Either that she wants something else (money). But guilt isn’t factored in.
Men however often do view women as special for just existing. Sure we might get fed up with them and want out for good at times. But many of us do feel some lingering unspoken guilt over breaking up with a girl even if it was for the best. Reason being seeing a woman crying, heartbroken and in real emotional pain does impact us whether our decision was justified or not. If we dump a woman, regret it and later think twice about it (and she shows up) then our decision to take her back will influenced over the guilt for the emotional pain we observed earlier

Anyway I broke up with my last girlfriend. It was painful but I don’t regret it for a second. It really was for the better. It was also the first time I did the dumping in a long term relationship. But when I’m honest with myself I do feel mild guilt when I think it over.

This is despite her going insane and threatening suicide. It was extremely unfair and I personally never even acted remotely like she did when I got dumped. I know made the right decision given her mental instability. But still there is mild guilt there.

But I have no doubt whatsoever every girl who broke up with me feels little to if any true guilt about it. I had one girl ghost me after 9 f*cking months of dating after a minor argument. Never heard from her again. I had another literally tell me “tough luck your an ex” a few weeks later after she dumped me when I got some horrible news that she needed to know about. Both of those woman saw me as expendable once they decided to get out. I’m just a bad memory for them. Highly doubt they feel any true guilt over their decision.

Women feeling guilty about breaking guy’s hearts only happens in movies not in real life. Any girl who says other words is a liar or she is just having a moment of nostalgia about the guy. Even in that latter mindset it’s still about her.

So this is why women are much less likely to take back exes. They might of realized they made a mistake but the guilt over hurting the man has little or no influence on that.

NathanDavis · Answer

hmm, I would have to disagree...

just because there are no reasons to go back to the past... all of my exes would have wanted to end up today with something as good as we had it in the past, yes... because we really had it that great, but we had it great in a past, that is no longer the present

many things changed, the situations are different, especially... our ages and our circumstances

besides, we're great friends today... we would not risk a great/life-time friendship, that has a LOT of value in life

they're happy in their present life and so am I... there's absolutely no need to go and try to relive the past

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Sally might. I'm not so sure about Carol. I can't even get her to be my best friend again! And, I'm not so sure I'd want a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship with her. She's still too whacked out.
Anu MIGHT but, I don't think I'd WANT her back and, besides, SHE'S the one that started cheating on ME!!

worldscolide · Answer

Depends on the ex. I have one ex who if they approached me wanting me back, I would get a gun, point it at her, call the police, and hold her at gun point until they got there. Most of my other ex's would never have another chance with me.. So it's not if they would take me back, it's if I would take them back.

Toylet20 · Answer

I disagree because I have one ex and he didn’t take me back after I practically begged him to. So I know he doesn’t want me lol

then there’s the guy I went on some dates with if you want to call him an ex. He would probably take me back. He was very clingy even though he didn’t even want to get to know me. Maybe he just wanted to try to get sex (he failed).

Jasmin01 · Answer

It was always me who broke up. That's why I assume that my ex certainly wouldn't say no if I asked her if we could get back together.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Definitely yes on a couple of them and no for the other two.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Strongly disagree, but I also have yet to figure out what I do to warrant the level of hostility I receive.

glennos89 · Answer

I have 2 exes that want me back and 1 who doesn't want me back

Jersey2 · Answer

I was always the dumper, not dumpee. But would they take me back? I have a life that I think they would want to be part of but who knows.

nawtee_me · Answer

If most of them would take you back then I would be worried about you. It would mean that the breakup was either your fault or your doing a they think they did nothing wrong.

loveslongnails · Answer

Only one of my ex's would take me back, and she's the only one I'd even consider going back with. The others are ex's for good reasons!

Mansearching · Answer

I wouldn't take mine back. They wouldn't take me back either.

shortster · Answer

It took awhile before I could get my previous ex to not want to take me back. I need to figure something out for my current ex.

zagor · Answer

No idea what they're doing now. So I would have no opinion.

Sparkie460 · Answer

They might go back out with me but I don't want them anymore. They are my exes for a reason

LiamJHayden · Answer

I doubt it. I always make it clear that she's great but we just don't click on that level.

Anonymous · Answer

I have three exes. I know one would take me back, one probably would, and the other probably not since she's married now.

Anonymous · Answer

Never been in a relationship before, so there’s none that could.

How strongly do you agree with the statement: 'most of my exes would take me back'?

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