Why would a guy say he could see us being together and I'm worth everything but then end dating me all in the same conversation?

[Anonymous]

I was dating this guy, we talked about we talked about evaluating each other for a relationship, what we value for marriage etc and how it could be with each other. He said that he could see us being together, but I didn't want to force it as that never works. He knew I was looking for a relationship and knew I liked him. He initially said and behaved as if he wanted the same with me. One night we went out and ran into a guy friend of his. His friend asked him when he's getting married. His reply, "Why does it have to be me?" I didn't say anything, but took that as a flag. The very next day he asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship, I said yes. Then he said, he didn't have the capacity for one right now but he would be ok keeping things as is. We talked every day by the way sun up to sleep. He said I'm amazing, he can see us being together, he feels like I'm in his life for a reason, and I'm worth everything and he sees my value, but he said that he doesn't think he's the man I need right now. So he again proceeded to say that he would be ok with us maintaining things as is, but he doesn't know if he will be ready for a relationship in the near future. Moments later he told me not to put my life on hold for him... but then said he wanted to see me at an event next month so we can hang. Further reasons he gave for ending things is because he has "confusion" he is still interested in me, he has financial things he needs to get in order and his money is funny, he is going into hustle mode, and he didn't think he's the man I need right now because he allegedly doesn't feel like a man. I'm confused but I'm taking him at his word of suggesting I don't wait for him. I also asked him if I choose to continue dating him, would he want us to also date other people. He said he wasn't even thinking of it and that would just create problems. He also said that he isn't dating anyone at all. I'm confused by his actions and reasoning which sounds like just a bunch of excuses.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's hella confusing. On one hand he's saying all this stuff about how great you are and how he could see you together. But then pulls the plug suddenly.

Couple thoughts - seems like deep down he may really like you, but isn't in a place emotionally where he can fully commit right now. Maybe personal issues holding him back.

The back and forth hot/cold behavior is kinda whack too. Like saying he wants to see you next month but isn't ready for a relationship? Weird mixed signals man.

I'd be wary of taking him seriously at this point if he changes his mind again. Dude needs to get his stuff figured out before dragging you around.

Best thing is to believe him at face value - he isn't ready to be what you need. As hard as it is, try moving on for now. His loss! You'll find someone who treats you right.

Give it time, work on yourself, see other people. Maybe down the line if his head's on straight he can prove he's changed - but wouldn't bet on it if I were you. Not worth the emotional rollercoaster.

Feel you though luv, nothing worse than the confusion. You'll get through it - keep your head high!

[strateguy632]

he realized he doesn't have enough time for a relationship