Is it inappropriate to like someone at my job?

Question

I work at 24 Hour Fitness and there’s a member who always comes in to workout at my job. She comes in everyday in the morning time. I had a short conversation with her one time and said, “hi.” a couple of times, but I don’t think she ever hears me because she has headphones on. Whenever she saw me though she would smile.

That’s pretty normal though. Next time, I’ll wave. The one thing that I don’t want to do is be rude and ruin her workout session. I don’t know her name or know, if she’s in a relationship. I’ll wave and start up a short conversation.

I have no idea what to even talk about, since we’ve only have one interaction. Also, will she catch on and know that I’m interested in her. I don’t know, if girls pick up on that. I don’t want to risk my job, but at the same time, I’d like to get to know her. Maybe, I’ll start off by asking what she’s listening to.

I’ll see, if we like the same stuff. Any truthful advice would be appreciated. Asking this again because I didn’t get very much feedback the first time.

BoopBoopBeep · Accepted Answer

It's not inappropriate to like them. Where ou go next... that's on you.

When I worked in a coffee shop, and later as a sous chef, I saw a lot of attractive women come and go. I'd say the fact that she's got headphones on when she comes in isn't the best variable in support of her being interested in you. You've said hi a few times and she smiles when she sees you. Well if you're staring at her and she smiles it may not be a comfortable smile, or it may just be the same way I smile at 20-100 people a day passing them on the street. Doesn't mean anything other than being in polite society.

If she were interested in you she's got/had plenty of opportunity to talk to you. She knows where you are for 8 hours a day (or whatever) and she's got a pass for a reason to come talk to you without feeling like she's reading things wrong and will get rejected. "Hey my membership card is acting up" "I can't get this bottle of cleaner to spray" "Can you tell me about this machine?"... There's literally a hundred different ways she could indicate that she wants you to talk to her and it seems from what you're describing that none of them are happening. I can tell you for certain that a great many of my female friends put earphones on and no music just so people won't talk to them. The guy they like? Yeah they're coming off when he's around.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Hey man, I feel you - it's always tough when you're into a member at the gym. But you gotta be careful pursuing her since you work there, know what I mean? A few thoughts:

- Keep interactions positive but brief so you don't come off pushy or like you're slacking on the job. Just basic pleasantries.

- Let her make more of the moves - let her start conversations or ask questions first. Eases any potential awkwardness.

- Ask open-ended questions so she can steer talks where she's comfortable. Don't just interrogate her workout routine, ya feel?

- Stay friendly with all members, not just her. Don't wanna make it seem like special treatment.

- Don't fish for details about her dating life yet - take it real slow to gauge interest.

- Maybe try exchanging names and seeing if she wants to connect on social media after a few more casual chats. More low pressure way to keep talking.

If she seems into you too, maybe ask her out for coffee sometime after she's done working out - when you're both off the clock. Just play it cool! Hope it works out man but be careful of any policies at your work too. Let me know how it goes!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

no better than if you liked your coworker. actually since this is only a customer, it's completely normal, in my opinion. seems casual enough. now if you went into the database to look up her name, then that's creepy. i've had someone do that to me before and then add me on facebook. not good...

but she is giving off taken vibes and just also wants to concentrate on what she is paying for her membership. i don't see this getting very far. because girls know when guys are interested (we aren't that oblivious ;) ). since she is acting like she just wants to concentrate on working out, that's as far as that goes. girls who are taken are more standoff-ish like that.

VanityFair888 · Accepted Answer

No, not really. Where I work out, gym front desk worker and trainer started dating with one girl and they are still together. I'd just advise not to be too pushy and be friendly to other members too, so you don't seem like you're giving her extra attention

BullShark · Answer

It's completely normal to have a crush on someone you find attractive, may that be at work, school, or heck, even someone you might cross gazes with on the street. So don't beat yourself up over it and accept it.

As for what you should do, before you do anything, notice her body language and the energy she's giving off. If she seems way too busy in her workout, approaching and disturbing her may not end that well. If you catch her body language inviting, like you find her constantly looking over at you and smiling, or if she's giving you opportunities to come talk, take it!

Just be cool about it, approach her with open body language, and strike up a conversation. Asking her what music she's listening to is a great conversation starter. Or if you want to be quirky, guess what song she's listening to and laugh it off when you get it wrong by saying something like "aw really? You look like someone who'd listen to Backstreet Boys."

Anonymous · Answer

It's better you don't risk it. If something bad happens you're going to have to see her everyday at you job. It's not inappropriate though.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say you should probably shelf this idea. Of course it's still good to be polite, she might need your help with something some day like broken equipment or another gym-goer giving her trouble.

I mean, we even had a guy in my town who was notorious for hitting on the gym-goers to the point a lot of them wouldn't even come to the gym unless he was gone. Working out is hard enough without having to worry about that.

Your job kind of makes it too hard to do anything, really. It'd be different if she approached you and initiated something else entirely.

Anyway. It's okay to be kind but don't let yourself get caught up in the fantasies. Stick with the "Hi" and "Have a great workout" or something. It's not like you're a nurse or a cop or anything but it's still probably too risky to bother on the off chance you make her feel uncomfortable. I just like to assume everyone's taken.

Daffotul · Answer

yes because it makes a conflict of interest

Anonymous · Answer

Talk to her. Be polite and not intrusive. See if she seems interested. If she’s not, back off and don’t push further. Do not ask her out for coffee or whatever until you’ve gotten to know her. Girls hate being hit on at the gym, but we don’t (usually) mind friendly conversation with a nice guy that could lead to something more if (and only if) we’re single and interested in him back.

Damn I just typed a novel lol

molonski2 · Answer

NO , its completely appropriate , and with the industry involved , its happens constantly , you'll certainly find some synergies.

Altheavas · Answer

I don’t have any good opinion to share, I just come here to read some good advises.  **Thinking that I wouldn’t want to be in a situation like this, I can imagine the pain. **

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Nah, it's never inappropriate.. It's fine, just be careful if you go to pursue her.. One wrong thing said and she gets uncomfortable.. And once that happens she could report you and get you fired just like that..

slatyb · Answer

Isn't there a policy about employees making advances to members?

AngryCarl2 · Answer

It's not inappropriate to like someone but always remember that she's a client. It's not your job to hit on the customers and possibly make them feel uncomfortable.

Mangospacho · Answer

Nah. Nothing wrong with it. The worst thing that could possibly happen is you two start dating and you have to go work at a different gym.

Anonymous · Answer

Eh. It’s hard to say. What exactly do you do at the gym? There’s different approaches you can take depending on what you do.

hbkfan · Answer

Not really it depends on how you handle your crush because I have a crush on someone I work with and I hide it as much as possible

AmeerX · Answer

It's not inappropriate. People can feel love at any time and to anyone. This is just stupid of people to judge them.

Twalli · Answer

As long as you keep it from being creepy it could actually be seen as good thing because you are being more open to the customers.

sheikalana · Answer

It's unprofessional.

Aphrodite801 · Answer

You don’t even know her to like her 🤡

m33ladEmjay · Answer

24 hours in Texas is a C**kFEST!

MaxUsefull · Answer

Just go to talk to her

Is it inappropriate to like someone at my job?

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