What's the more effective way to win a girl over another guy?

[Anonymous]

So I have been talking to this girl for about 3 months now and she's pretty clearly interested in me as well but I just found out she has another guy she has been talking to much longer than me and he even stays the night with her all the time. I haven't exactly reciprocated my feelings just yet and now I feel like I've lost her

I have two ideas on how to approach it but I need help

1.) Go completely cold on her, ignore her in person and don't text her. Anytime I have left her on read she's always reached out again

2.) Still communicate with her and show her I care but not talk to her as much as I was, backing off quite a bit and seeing what happens

The only thing I don't want to do is ask her out straight up which I was going to do before I knew what I know now. Reason being because I don't wanna come across as needy and desperate, I'd rather show her that I'll be fine regardless of what happens

[Anonymous]

So you want to play games and manipulate her, but coming off as needy or desperate is the concern? I’m sorry this sounds very immature and avoidant. If you like the woman then man up and tell her, don’t play these little “chase me” games, there’s just no need.

[Screenwriter]

There is no reason to NOT ask her out. Maybe this guy is or was Mr. Right Now. A placeholder. This might be why she's talking to you.

You could always ask her, if you feel like trying it that way. But, don't play games about it. Be direct to see where you stand.

People often like two people and pursue them to see how they winnow out. You've only known her 3 months. Not very long. But it's time to see if she wants to date you. Otherwise, move on.

[Asker]

True, do you think me knowing her not nearly as long as the other guy puts me at an advantage or a disadvantage? Feel like typically you’d stick with the guy you’ve been talking to the longest

[Screenwriter]

There's no telling. Why is she talking to you if he's so great? Ask to find out where you stand. Don't waste time about it.

[Asker]

I mean he’s kinda lame tbh but I’d never tell her that

[Screenwriter]

You don't have to mention anything about HIM. Ask her about YOU!

[Crankor]

Maybe just say something in the right moment of a good chat like, careful or I'm gonna start liking you

[Tharithi]

But if u leave her on read that gives a bad impression from your side

[Asker]

Wdym

[Tharithi]

Lol do u really think a women would want anything long term with a guy who leaves her on read. Women expect guys to take them on vacations dates and pay , and u over here really are doing immature dumb games

[Asker]

So maybe back off a bit then?

[Tharithi]

I don’t think u like her bruhh , u are just desperate trying to shoot a shot

[rachel776b]

personality