Why do people still have their exes on social media?

Question

Been dating this guy for about a month or 2
We have spoken about our past relationships
And shown each other our exes

So I did a little stalking on his social media
I noticed he still follows his ex girlfriend
And she still follows him

I asked him about it
And he said he doesn't have feelings for her anymore and just friends , their breakup was amicable

Should I not worry?

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

I voted you should be worried, but not entirely. I vote that only in the sense that you should be cautious because any time someone is still 'friends' with their ex there is always the possibility of their 'friendship' rekindling feelings and they go back to them. Also time frame should be kept in mind. If he was with her for a good while like a year or a couple of years - anything longer than the 2 months you've been dating him, there is also a chance he might go back to her. Just things to consider.

Dargil · Accepted Answer

Never  EVER   look back. You broke up for a reason and it compromises new relationships.

DaveJord · Answer

For me there are two principal rules when it comes to dating.

1. Never talk about your past relationship or exes with any potential SO. Who you dated, and why that ended is none of their business. Because each relationship is unique and different. So, whatever the reasons or circumstances of that past relationship was, does not matter, because you two are no longer the same people you once were. Whatever the other the deal was with the other person, has nothing to do now with this person.

2. It's a RED Flag when they maintain contact or friendships with exes. Bottom line, if they were over that relationship then they would have moved on. But the fact that they feel this need to maintain contact with them, tells me that they have not completely let go of that person. This has the potential to adverse effects on any potential future relationships.

As we see here, you got so insecure about it you stalked his Ex's on social media. I mean that's not healthy or right on some level... but at the same time you only did it because his desire to maintain some type of connection with his Ex's made you feel insecure. I am not saying you are wrong in any way, but what I am saying is that you both broke rule number 1 & 2.

If he had never told you about his Ex's, then you might have felt comfortable in knowing he had moved on. You may of never of felt the need to stalk them. If had moved on from his Ex's, then he would not still be following them on social media. So, in the end you trust your gut and move on from this one.

I mean you really broke the two the primary rules of initial dating.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

This is the problem with not going no contact after a break up. You have no way of confirming that there is no lingering romantic interest between the two of them, and your suspicions are not unreasonable. And even if there are no romantic intentions now, remaining in contact increases the likelihood of that developing in the future. some young people believe that they are "supposed to" maintain a friendship with an ex, but I think it is a stupid idea.

Everything I said above is based on the assumption that they do not have a child together.

Rei13 · Answer

I’ve had six boyfriends, so five exes. I have three on social media still, then there were two others that never quite made it to relationship status and I still have one on those on social media. I don’t know, never really thought much on it. They were amicable and we’ve all moved on. I don’t go out of my way to look at their stuff or talk to them, but they’re all indirectly apart of different friendship groups. The most recent one outside of my current relationship was four years ago and we dated for a month. I would consider it a yellow flag just because everyone’s motivation for it won’t be the same, for me it just means we are on good terms even if we don’t actually talk to each other unless there is a need for it

coachTanthony · Answer

It's like if they don't have this knock down drag out type break up where they stop all communication then they still might be interested since it was amicable lol. I would argue the worst the break up the more feelings there are. You should be worried if he talks about her a lot and if he is distracted when he is with you. Judge him on his actions not on his past.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I blocked mine on IG, thought he blocked me on WeChat, but seems like I am the only one who blocked his IG, he called me on WeChat the other day.

Anonymous · Answer

That's usually nothing to worry about. They broke up for a reason and just cause they broke up it doesn't mean they hate eachother.

Keeping your ex and their family still friends on social media, or even to have contact with them is a big sign of maturity. Remember that an ex has been a part of your life and therefore also been a part of who you have become. People that immediately deletes/blocks their exes and pretend those 6 years never happened... those are the red flags.

Unless the relationship was abusive (or you for some reason hate them) I don't see any reason to not stay friends with them. I have my ex on all social media, I have her family aswell.. they have my family.. we are all adults.

My ex is a nice person, that's why we became a couple. But we grew up in different directions and didn't fit together as a couple. We don't have contact on a regular basis, but we sometimes meet at work (same building) and we wish eachother and our families a happy birthday, Christmas etc... I don't have any feelings for her, for about half a year before we broke up I didn't have any feelings for her.

You asked your boyfriend about it and he said there is nothing between you two. One of the most important things in a relationship is trust, so when he says there is nothing between them you should trust him.

wolfcat87 · Answer

It's a yellow flag, because some men do it when they are still interested and some do it when they aren't.

For example, one guy had his first girlfriend on his page. They were together for years, but he had dumped her. He never tried to contact her. Never tried to meet up with her. Nothing. Eventually he deleted her.

It's the guys who are trying to contact their ex that are likely to be more worrisome. Those guys usually have feelings still.

I've kept exes on my friends list just because I enjoy watching karma in action. I've never had an ex do anything bad to me and not end up with a miserable life after. 🙃 I have no interest in them outside of that. They are exes for a reason. If they contact me, I'm either polite and distant or rude if they do it a lot. I used to stay friends with them and talk to them until I realized I was just stuck on "nice mode" for no good reason.

blueonblack22 · Answer

9 times out of 10 it’s a bad idea. But there are some 1 out of 10 very rare exceptions. What would make it “rare” is if both people knew and believed beyond a doubt there is zero chance of getting back together.

However when we are honest with ourselves most of the time one person has lingering feelings.

NalleBabyBoysss · Answer

I'm friends with all of my exes we grew apart and they are some of my best friends because we shared so much time together but i don't love them any more and i was the one breaking up so i think it depends on who broke up and all the feelings involved but i voted no because if he says he doesn't have feelings for her than you should give him the benefit of a doubt because a relationship is built on trust

sawno · Answer

In my case we left on good terms, not going to delete or block her since as long as I am single the door is open for her to try under better circumstances. While either of us is in a relationship we have a no contact rule. But since my dream relationship failed before I no longer delete anything when I am in a relationship, because I don't want to throw my own opportunities in if she decides to leave. All I can do is promise it won't matter while I am in the relationship.

HawkPerception · Answer

I'm the type to immediately delete all photos and video and block on all social media when we break up. I don't quite understand people that can stay friends. They say it's a maturity thing. I claim otherwise.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

I kept mine to see if they were doing worse or better without me

update: mine was in jail got out got pregnant and is an overweight baby momma posting stuff like “ Where the sugar daddy’s at?” On social media fair to say I dodged a bullet ✅

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Not all people break because of drama. Most of the breakups are peaceful and agreed on, and partners stay in good contact and as friends very often... So, what is the problem of following or keeping them on social media?

sheikalana · Answer

Because you are nosy and want to know how that person is doing.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Only the ones where we ended on good terms. Case by case basis. boyfriend knows a few of them.  As for why? Cause, while we didn't work out as a couple, we work fine as friends.

Sonjita · Answer

Yeah no I don't have exes as friends but I don't know why worry so much about an ex when he will probably cheat with someone new

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, I always found it kinda weird, when people still have even pics with their exes still on social media.. Like.. Why? I would say be cautious, but don't worry too much..

BrownSugar00 · Answer

Wanna check up on what they're up to, where life takes them and who and what comes into their lives.

Anonymous · Answer

Couples show each other their exes faces? Lol. But yeah I don't know my ex used to have his other ex on his social medias and it bothered me too. Current boyfriend cuts off his exes though which feels pretty good.

Paris13 · Answer

Unless you See Signs of Him Still Pining, No Whining. lolxxoo

Nikki1989 · Answer

Some people stay friends with their exes. I am friends with most of mine.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Either they don’t pay them no mind, or they have a issue with letting things go especially people who serve them purpose in their life anymore

loveslongnails · Answer

It's a backdoor insurance policy mixed with post-separation anxiety. Always good to stay friends in case you don't work out, right?

SolitarySolace · Answer

I don’t have any of my exes on social media. Why would I keep 3 cheaters around?

Ironic_Method · Answer

I have most of my exes on social media. I'm still friends with them.

msc545 · Answer

Justto see what they are up to really. No big deal. In my case, I want to be sure they are not living anywhere near me.

LiamJHayden · Answer

A breakup does not mean automatically hating the ex.

scooogy · Answer

Twitter is now named "X", this is where they went.

rosemilk · Answer

eh i don't think it's that big of a deal

spartan55 · Answer

You are giving social media way too much value.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Simple check him out.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

We share a child together

austinbooth · Answer

This does not sound normal.

OfDeath · Answer

Sadomasochism

Slim57 · Answer

Cuz feelings still

Why do people still have their exes on social media?

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