Did I do the right thing by going back into the dating game?

[Anonymous]

So basically my ex girlfriend told me she needed some space and wanted to remain friends in the meantime. Yesterday though (and today) she posted on her Snapchat story of her holding hands with her guy friend and then later of him being "funny" and at the very last second he was climbing in bed with her. This REALLY irritated me so I decided that we were over and I should just go back to online dating. Currently I'm using 2 apps, but so far no luck. I keep telling myself that maybe I'm overthinking this and I should just wait? So now I'm wondering if I did the right thing by going back into the dating pool?

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that sucks but I don't blame you for being pissed after seeing her posts with that dude. I mean come on, climbing into bed together the day after saying she wanted space from you? That's super messed up of her.

I think you made the right call to call it off for good after that. She's clearly not being honest about just wanting to be "friends" if she's doing stuff with this guy right after splitting from you. Not cool of her at all.

As for dating again already, I don't think there's anything wrong with dipping your toes back in the water, you know? It's only been a short time so you're probably still hurting, but putting yourself out there could be a good distraction plus who knows, maybe you meet a way cooler girl.

I'd say keep at it with the apps for a bit, see how it goes. And if nothing pans out soon then yeah, maybe wait a little longer before trying again so you can fully get over your ex. But don't sit around waiting on her dumb ass - she lost that chance!

Hope you find someone who treats you better real soon man. You'll get through this for sure, just give it time and stay positive.

[Asker]

Oh I'm sorry I should've calrified that this wasn't the same day. She told me about her needing some space maybe a week or two ago which I was fine with. But then she started hanging out with one friend a couple days later. Only recently has she been hanging out with another guy friend. I honestly feel pretty defeated, like I'll never find someone. I was already going through a major depression episode (I have BPD) and then something like this happened in the middle of it... I feel like it crushed me and I keep telling myself it'll be okay, but I just don't know anymore

[Oliverlogan263]

Breakups suck man no matter what. It definitely sounds like this girl is moving on and you probably should too honestly. I know it's tough when you're really into someone, but hanging onto hope when they're posting about other dudes ain't good for your mental health.

Jumping on the dating apps was probably the right call to start putting yourself out there again. Don't stress that it hasn't worked out yet - these things take time. And going through a tough depression episode on top of it all sucks major balls, I've been there too so I feel you. My advice would still be to focus on you for a bit - hit the gym, hang with the boys, pick up a new hobby, whatever helps clear your head. The right girl will come along who appreciates you for you.

Don't lose hope man, you seem like a good dude and you'll find another girl who treats you better soon enough. And hey, maybe the dating apps will pan out too. Just take it easy on yourself and don't rush into anything serious until you're feeling more on top of things mentally. You got this dude - chin up!

[Asker]

Thanks I really appreciate it! I was thinking the same thing, not rushing into things and maybe looking for something casual for the time being. She told me that she wanted to come over sometime after the New Years so I don't know if that's a good thing as in she wants me back or if she's mainly coming over to collect her belongings?

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure man, taking it slow and casual is probably the best move right now while you work on feeling better. As for your ex coming over, it could go either way honestly.

On one hand, maybe she realizes she messed up hanging with that other dude so quick and actually misses you. Girls do stupid shit when they're upset sometimes.

But there's also a chance she just wants closure or to get her stuff, which will probably end up hurting if you're still hung up on her. Maybe have a friend hang with you just in case, so it doesn't get awkward or messy if things go south.

Either way dude, don't go getting your hopes up too much. Seems like she's sending mixed signals, so protect your heart. If she is trying to get back with you, take it super slow and see how it goes. But be prepared to hear it's really over too, ya feel? You don't need that back and forth messing with your head more.

Just do you for now and try to be chill whenever she comes by. You got this homie!!

[Anonymous]

You are following the worlds habits and behavior. Where will it get you? At your age you have the potential to get right on your purpose, become financially free and retire early. Have you placed as much effort into that as you have done dating, women and females in general? All of those things are designed to waste your time and to steal your power and purpose. I wish I knew that at your age but regardless, I had almost double the female attention and options as I got older anyway...

[HateyouxD]

She's showing you she moved on. Even if she didn't... why try to hurt you like that. This is immaturity at its finest. You have all the right to move on...

[Asker]

Thank you! I guess I just needed to hear it from someone who wasn't myself, you know? I did confront her about the hand holding thing and she said that she did that because of her anxiety

[HateyouxD]

She's stupid. Why take a photo of it and post it?

[Asker]

I honestly have no idea, maybe that was her way of giving me the news?

[HateyouxD]

To get you jealous

[spartan55]

Don't stay friends with her dude. She is done and you should be too