Question to the men: Is a girl having low self-esteem or a lack of confidence in her abilities a deal breaker? Would you still date a girl like that?

[HawkPerception]

Or would you try to build her up and be that support pillar?

Yes it's a deal breaker

No, I'd be happy to try and be that support pillar for her that builds her confidence

[Flatmanlewis]

It depends. If that low self-esteem is just a constant burden I’m having to tend to - as if trying to heal her from a disease - it can be very draining and cast a shadow on the overall relationship. When somebody can’t be happy it’s tough. Being with somebody you always have to repair can be tough.


If they are a well rounded and healthy person who just happens to (like most of us) sometimes be a little more down on themselves over a specific issue, then that’s probably not a problem.

[AA10X]

Depends. In most situations, I would say no. Everybody has some kind of self-esteem problem and is the duty of a partner to understand and to give support. It is only problematic when the person (I have seen guys and girls doing this) behaves like needy attention seeker, emphatizing his/her weak points all the time to recieve many compliments.

[HawkPerception]

Understandable and agreed

[bobinnes00]

If she has low self-esteem and you build her up, once she has her newly restored self-esteem she will probably leave you believing that she can do better! :D

[HawkPerception]

Or she could be an intelligent girl that appreciates you realizes all the effort and support you gave her and never want to leave you 😊

[bobinnes00]

True, it could go either way I suppose. :)

[Crankor]

Eh I wouldn't say a deal breaker but it depends on how if affect the relationship. I'm all for helping someone improve but I have no interest in trying to "fix" them.