Why are most men so boring to talk to? Where are the men with personalities?

Question

The average man will dm you with a hey ask you basic information then ask about your day and you’ll ask about theirs and they’ll say good 99.9% of the time. You might say well they’re just getting to know you etc but most of the time these men even if you keep talking to them have no personality other than fishing, “just chilling”, drinking, or sports. They have no sense of sarcasm or dark humor they only listen to the most popular music and dress the same as every other man ever

Im a woman with hobbies and interests. I collect old movies, I read, sew, teach a yoga class every Saturday for fun. I like metal and i’m always going to concerts. I like comic books and I code sometimes. I dress to match me as a person. I like sarcasm and irony. Talking to most men is like talking to a wall!

The ones with personalities always seem to be surrounded by women whether they’re stereotypically attractive or not but they’re just so difficult to find! Where are the men with hobbies and interests and jokes?

MysticDevice · Accepted Answer

That's funny, I'm having the same problem. (With women) Seems like everyone is turning into an NPC.

I meet so many people where its either "I listen to country music". Facinating. Trucks and whiskey make terrible lyrics. Or "I listen to a little of everything". Wow, what safe and generic answer. I want to hear "I listen to 'Band X' because Guitarist 'A' can shred like a cheese grater, and the lyricist writes profound and mindbending songs.

Or their "social life" consists of getting drunk with their coworkers after every shift. (That's if they even have a job) Or their "hobbies" are just being high and scatterbrained.

How about picking a direction and just driving until you find a small village you didn't even know existed and finding all the little quirky facets of it. Or something crafty that requires making something with your hands.

Or gaming. Not mario kart, minecraft, or fortnight. Something with a story that sucks you in and hypnotizes you into thinking, wishing, and wanting the characters to be real. Just like a book or movie.

Well thats a lot of word vomit. Just gonna leave it at that before I get carried away.

aceleon · Accepted Answer

literally the reason i don't have as many friends i had at highschool anymore i only have like 6-7 and even they are either car freaks or lost their mind over money. but almost none of them shares my interests

i don't know what type of music they are classified but i like groups like 3days grace, skillet, nickelback, breaking benjamin, ashes remain, starset, RED, simple plan etc etc. whichnone of my friends listens.

i like anime but i only had 2 or 3 friends who liked anime up until now even at high school

i read and write fanfiction (for writing i need to learn how to write dialogs though, i'm excellent at monolougs and 3rd person view but dialougs are the bain of existence literally the reason my fav one stuck at the first half of it's 1/6 or so, i can't write dialouges)

i can't always direct a specific hobby because aside from team sports and cars i can talk about almost everything as long as i'm given a topic (or else i just tell stories from past)

also i am an animal freak, i'm like a zoolog without the degree.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

You don't come here for stimulating conversations. This is the wrong site for that.

ManOnFire · Answer

I would probably agree with you. As I've gotten a few messages from dudes like what you describe as well. Not often, but here and there. However, it's not just dudes being this way. I get DMs from young females all the time with just "hey" or "can I ask you a question?" about some really random stuff they're overthinking. Real life is much better though. You get to see all kinds of personalities and colors by talking to people, so I don't take it too seriously here.

You sound pretty interesting actually. You have interests in a variety of things just like me. Only difference is I'm not super sarcastic unless I'm giving the burn to someone on purpose, and truthfully I find sarcasm and irony to be somewhat rude. I can see the appeal in it as far as it can be a strong form of verbal intelligence that tickles the brain, but on a very basic level it really is quite discourteous, and there is a reason why "smart mouth" people get hated or beat up.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Some of it has to do with what gag is as an online site. It’s a free site so people don’t really need to invest valuable time or resources into it. So they can use it for a surface level distraction and not as a way to really connect and interact with others.

Now it may well be the case that some people really do have boring lives and don’t have many hobbies as you suggested. in my opinion sm and entertained are so geared to satisfy the need for dopamine that someone could literally sit in bed all day (12 hours) and scroll yt or tiktok. That’s not an active day where as a human you can create art or write a song or study a historical event; it’s very passive.

Another reason could be that some are afraid to be doxed or “found out” so they limit what they share here. Leaves them seeking very boring where they may have a rich life that’s not dependent on validation online. Having real friends and family and all the responsibilities of #adulting

Those are some thoughts from a complete stranger here in Florida who knows I likely just spent 10 min typing this and it will go away to nothingness..

Thoughts?

rigmarole · Answer

Most people are average. That's how normal distributions work... If you want to find those that stray from the pack you have to stop asking average questions. Instead of asking how was your day, ask open ended questions like what's the weirdest thing that happened to you today? You can't respond to that with a generic positive "good". It requires you to think about your day and respond with something that might lead to a conversation. If you asked me that, I'd say a pig ran across a 6 land highway when I was taking a left turn this morning... Traffic was moving fast, but he was a Cunningham so he made it across the intersection just fine...

Saiesh30 · Answer

"Talking to most men is like talking to a wall". This had me 🤣🤣
You kinda answered yourself in the question itself. As in, men who have so many interests and hobbies rarely spend so much time on social media or texting. Unless a man is looking for a possible partner or those who are 50-55 years plus it's unlikely you'll find them online.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women actually don't like guys that are not boring to talk to. They actually find those guys boring. At least that's my whole life experience. I agree that most guys are involved in outdoor activities more than reading or knowing compared to most women. Plus guys in general are getting less educated now. Then there are a lot of women who like guys who don't talk much or even if they like those guys, they only see them as friends but not as potential boyfriends. I have many hobbies. I can cook, sew, garden, write stories, know multiple languages have good knowledge of world history, and am particularly good at storytelling. I am going to be a scientist in the future. Till now, I never had a girlfriend.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Most people in general are pretty boring or just bad at small talk. People ask me how I’m doing and my default is something stupid about the weather. I got a lot going on but most people who ask aren’t looking for a detailed account. They’re just being friendly. I‘m not sure where to go looking for stimulating conversations though.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Well, TBF you haven't talked to most men.. It's the same thing with women a lot just don't know how to talk or get to know a person.. Sometimes you gotta get past the awkward part to get to the good stuff.. Not to mention the number of women who get bored so easily for no reason at all..

shortster · Answer

I can't get interested in a woman until I meet her in person. Maybe they have the same issue? But then maybe you are asking the wrong questions. Most people ask boring mundane questions and expect exciting responses. When you should ask exciting questions to get exciting responses. Would you rather your date turn into a zombie or a werewolf and why?

Anonymous · Answer

We are either married or just too busy to talk to women

Those of us with personality generally have enough intelligence to know the world is overpopulated and that meeting women is liable to result in only furthering that overpopulation problem so we actively avoid them

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

How was your day?

RavVid · Answer

I find women most women don't like sarcasm, irony or the sardonic or even the laconic. :) Possibly there are not many of us scorpions with a sting in the tail.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

"One man's trash, that's another man's come-up."  - Macklemore, Thrift Shop

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

I think it’s more so about the men you Talk to. Everyone has a personality, but what exactly are you looking for?

RedInnocent68 · Answer

I’d talk about old movies and take a yoga class with you… 🤔😉😘

Ironco · Answer

We are out here, just don't give up. You'll find what you are looking for.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm at Costco on most Tuesdays...

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Y'all friendzone men with personalities

Why are most men so boring to talk to? Where are the men with personalities?

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Why are most men so boring to talk to? Where are the men with personalities?

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