Do men really wait for women to make the first move. If she does, is she viewed as thirsty?

Question

i really like this guy and i want to get to know him. But im scared if i initiate conversation I’ll be seen as thirsty. I dont want to force it. I see him a few times a month. We’ve had small interactions but I’m wanting something more. ESP since we have been eyeing each other for the longest. How should a lady even approach a guy? I feel like it is so backwards. Internet women always say “if he wanted to he will” but is that really true? I feel like there’s so many factors as to why a man won’t approach. Intimidation, shy, afraid of rejection, flat out not interested, or not sure if a woman feels the same. Looking for kind advice. Thanks !

by the way I’m 26. Not sure why my profile says 42.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I only look at girls that make the first move with respect. Even if they're not my type, I would turn them down politely. Confidence is a trait everyone finds attractive, both men and females alike. And everyone likes the feeling of being desired or knowing someone is interested in them. It can never be seen as a bad thing.

Now truthfully, just because someone shows interest doesn't mean they automatically get a green light. If the girl is not the guy's type physically, he'll likely turn her down like any girl would a guy that's she's not attracted to. That's something you have to accept if you're going to try initiating. You have to go in knowing there's a chance for rejection.

But what's the worst scenario that could happen? There's 3.

1. He'll also show interest in you.
2.He won't show interest, but he'll politely turn you down.
3. He won't show interest, and he shows disgust, in which case he's an immature douchebag that wasn't worth your time in the first place; bullet dodged
4. He's taken

I don't see any loss in each scenario.

HighlyQuestionable · Accepted Answer

First, something else needs to be addressed: When did the term "Thirsty" become a bad thing, why would anyone want to render negative connotations on the word "Thirsty". This is an example of potential harm done through weaponized language. A blatant attempt to cause dehydration.

This is not an attempt at humor, nor paranoia.

Back to your question. If you aren't willing to initiate conversation with a man you are "interested in" you don't really like or care much for him (IMHO).

This 2024, Women and girls need to take some of the responsibility for socialization and dating.

If you really do like him, take the initiative.

No, it this statement is not true “if he wanted to he will” is a cop-out some women and girls use to avoid taking responsibility and giving up the perceived "social advantage" afforded to women and those who are "prettier".

My advice: Go for it!, the worst that can happen in this situation is he is either "taken" or you are not his "type".

bobalife · Accepted Answer

There’s so many dating rules, but I think if you waited long enough and at this point you really want to.. try to overcome your fear, say fuck it, and just do it hehe. Personally when I have taken initiative, guys seemed to love it most of the time. Try something new and just have fun :)

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

Depends how aggressive your first move is. You won't appear thirsty if your moves are discreet. A smile and deeper glimpse have often more impact than a lewd offer.

hahahmm · Answer

Uh, you can talk to the guy. that is not making a move, in my opinion. making a move is when you signal sexual/romantic interest in an obvious way. If you talked about the weather to 150 guys it doesn't mean you made a move. If you talk about sports to 10,000 sports fans, it doesn't mean you made a move. If you flirt or stare at his body suggestively or grope his muscles, ask him out & so on then that's making a move.

"Internet women always say “if he wanted to he will” but is that really true? I feel like there’s so many factors as to why a man won’t approach. Intimidation, shy, afraid of rejection, flat out not interested, or not sure if a woman feels the same. Looking for kind advice."

All you need to know is that if you want a TRADITIONAL type guy/relationship then you don't make the first move. If you do then you never know if the guy thought you were valuable. And he doesn't know either. He didn't get that fire in himself to go for you. In his mind you were just 'free', 'easy'. The first time a woman who is even 1% better looking than you, better personality comes along who makes a move he will happily dump you for her because he didn't invest anything in getting you. Just like if you gave someone a gift that cost you $10k but from their pov it's only worth $5. Not the same as how you would value the gift yourself.

Guys who are shy will disagree with me because it's in their interest to have women chasing them & they're in their feelings. I've seen both sides in life.. once being shy and also being a guy that can very easily get women's attention.

In your case make yourself more attractive and see if he takes the bait. The main thing you can do to make yourself more attractive is to improve your personality -- or let's say you have a great personality, how would he know if you never talk? Now guys who never look for serious will disagree with this too because for non serious personality doesn't matter.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Just go talk to him. There's simply only so much time in the day. I have things to do. I can't talk to every attractive woman I see. It's a triage thing. You focus on the ones that seem most worth it/most likely to progress to something worthwhile (whatever that is). I have women approach me on 3 out of 4 races I go to. Mulitple in the same race sometimes (long races that's far more common) because they're interested in why I'm wearing body armor and want to see how heavy it is, try it on, whatever. Whether they're romantically interested in me or not, I'm far more likely to get coffee with them than the lady who can't even come up and talk to me, because, no offense, I don't like mousy women. If you want more of his time/attention go get more of his time and attention.

abelisk · Answer

“if he wanted to he will” why can't guys think the same?

"If she does, is she viewed as thirsty?" guys have this problem all the time. It depends on how you're approaching it.

If you see yourself as an equal human being and don't take this traditional gender bs seriously (where the man has to hunt the woman), just ask him out.

Lionman95 · Answer

I don´t think that being viewed as thirsty is what women should consider the most as a reaction. I think what she should rather be prepared for is that she is rejected. To be fair there are surely guys that view a woman as thirsty if she makes the first move but I would say her being rejected is more likely to have.

rigmarole · Answer

If you want it, go get it... So long as you don't act like a whore, guys won't see you as thirsty. Even if they are the ones to approach you, you'll still come off as thirsty if you act that way. If you behave decent and act like a lady, then you can approach who ever you want to and be seen in a positive light.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Just talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with a girl making the first move. It’s not thirsty.

systemsareyo · Answer

It's more that rather than judging a woman as thirsty or keen, it's more that as a guy myself if nowadays I wanted to date, which I'm not, or to flirt, which I don't do: it's hard to know if a woman is being flirty or trying to set me up for a false accusation or whatever. So nope, I keep my nose clean and I treat all interactions as nothing more than she's just being polite. I don't flirt now, it's too much of a world where it's a woman's word against a man's word 😬

NoOneEver · Answer

I don’t wait, but I also get rejected a lot because of the lack of patience I have…

It would make sense for a guy to wait, as it is more optimal for men to wait. They know then that for sure the girl has an interest in them and that they are not just wasting their time and being out in a friend zone or a place of inevitable rejection.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Women make the first move generally. This why sometimes men feel led on by women. Because sometimes Women make the first move with zero interest in the guy. Some women do it for boredom, some do it as practice, some do it just because. So I'm not sure why this bothers you.

shanshu · Answer

I'm not sure what thirsty means but if you mean people thinking your easy, does it matter, 90% of the time guys have to do the asking which sometimes make them either a creep or a pervert if the person who he is interested in is not attracted to him.

Even if she is interested she's doesn't make it easy on him

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I do more than ever, and no. Depends on what the move is. It can be the most subtle thing ever, but if the guy is aware and experienced he’ll understand what just happened

0-limit · Answer

A woman making the first move implies consent on her part, and a lot of men (including myself) can feel uncomfortable about getting nonconsensual or doing anything that she might not want, but this also depends on people. It removes ambiguity of "is she interested, yes/no". It makes it easier for the man to make his own move and progress things, if that is what they both want.

There are a lot of men who are like this.

spierjames · Answer

Just stay natural and look for what u want in a guy but if you disagree with some of what he said... it could be a sign he's honest as hell or he just dont like you.

Also remain clam and relax

And dont full disagree just be like ok or move on to a different topic but remain clam and dont rush to a different topic

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes, we do. No, she is not viewed as "thirsty.". People just say that when they are wanting to be mean and attack your confidence.

sawno · Answer

Your profile says 26 to me, but we feel flattered rather than thinking your thirsty. Just go for it!

Pohjolan · Answer

But im scared if i initiate conversation I’ll be seen as thirsty.  Don't be. We get also approached by gals who are not interested in us. You are not making a move by just engaging in basic socialising.

Unit1 · Answer

You're not fooling us with you not knowing why your age says 42.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

At least give him signs that if he initiates you won't reject him.

Berethor · Answer

If he shy then he prefer for you to make the first move.

Hanrej · Answer

Some do, some have given up or isn't interested.

Do men really wait for women to make the first move. If she does, is she viewed as thirsty?

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