Do you take it personally if someone does not want to kiss you on a first date? Even if the date went well, would you lose interest?

Question

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

On my last first date. . . we had a very good dinner, great conversation, and at least I thought it was a wonderful first date. As we stood to leave, I remember thinking that surely she would hold my hand, give me a hug, and maybe even a nice kiss on the cheek. So, I was still smiling - on the inside - as I escorted her to her car. But. . . no sir! She jumped in her car, backed out of that parking spot, and was headed for the exit before I knew what was happening. So I stood there for a minute, watching the tail lights of her car disappear in the darkness, and then I said to myself, "Well. . . ain't that curious?"

I wasn't sure what to make of all that, but when I was dating, I had a motto - "You've gotta take a chance if you wanna find romance" - so the next day, I called her. Even though Helen had caller ID, she answered the phone. I engaged in the recommended amount of small talk, I told her how wonderful she is, and I asked her for a date that weekend, just a few days before Christmas. Looking back on it, I wonder, "Why did she agree to a second date?" Frankly, I think the idea of another free meal excited her, so she said "Sure, why not?" And we met again, had more great conversation, and discovered even more common interests, ideals, and shared values. She smiled, I smiled, and I said to myself, "Pretty good! This is progress!"

So. . . I had great confidence as I walked her to her car at the end of that second date but, once again, she jumped into her car and closed the door real lickety-split! But she didn't immediately lock the door, so this time, I opened the door, leaned in, and said "You forgot something," and I gave her a goodnight kiss.

We will be getting married on April 27.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

I had that happen once long ago where I misread her feelings. Since she was open to all my moves so far while smiling and laughing (seeming fine with holding my hand, later okay with me placing my hand on her knee, and still okay as I started moving it towards her thigh), and later danced with me, I went for the kiss while we were dancing.

And she even kissed me back for a few mins but in the middle of making out, she stopped me and said she felt like we were moving too fast. So total respect; no problem! I just misread her desires and body language.

I continued to date her after that and still liked her just as much. I think I even liked that she stopped me. I was used to moving really fast on dates and it was refreshing to slow things down. She made it clear she was still interested in me but just wanted to move a bit slower.

The one thing though is that I turned into a hyper-gentleman on future dates since I didn't want to mistakenly kiss her again when she wasn't ready. So it took over a month of dating and her actually initiating the kiss with me before we kissed again. I put the ball in her court to make me know when she was ready since I didn't want to misread her a second time.

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

Nope. There had been times in the past that I did this. They shouldn't've taken offense I mean this was my body and they didn't have a right to touch it/violate me if I didn't want to be kissed!

How would they like if I gropped them on the first date? ! Lol, okay scratch that. All I know is I don't really know this person and I'm not expecting sex or anything related to physical affections and that is my right! So yeah, they should do the same and respect me and my hesitations.

fantasticass · Accepted Answer

I don't like kissing on the first date. I find it disrespectful. It's only the first date, please wait at least 2 weeks before you kiss someone. You need to have boundaries. If a man really likes you, he will respect your boundaries. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, then he's not worth a kiss✌️

Summeroflove · Answer

Not personal at all and I don’t think I would kiss someone on the first date. You don’t really know each other that well yet. A kiss shouldn’t be something you should give anyone.

But… sone people have sex with anyone

WhiteSteve · Answer

No, I’d definitely respect that. If I’m being honest, I’d maybe take it as a sign that she wasn’t that into me, unless she made it clear that I was just falling under a personal policy and it wasn’t specific to me. First date, I’m just looking for some company and some conversation. I wouldn’t have serious expectations beyond that.

I think there’s just a weird disconnect with guys and gals, where the date is an audition for the guy. For us guys, if we’ve asked you out or agreed to a date, that’s us already saying you’ve passed the audition and we’re down to hook up😂

PetLover24 · Answer

I have standards, something that is almost nonexistent with today's women.

The general rule of thumb for women who have self respect & as such standards means that you are kissing by the 2nd or 3rd date.

Cheaper women bordering on tramps kiss on the 1st date. Sluts, whores, prostitutes, etc. go further on the 1st date. There's a reason why they almost never end up with good respectable men.

smne35 · Answer

It would be immature for me to take it personally. It's the first date which is meeting feeling each other out unless the chemistry is super super strong that we just came hold back. Yeah it's different but I don't go on the first date with expectations other than the field each other out. Talk and just see if we gel but I don't go. Thinking yeah I'm going to get lucky tonight. I don't do that. I mean I look at things from a practical view, not be presumptious. That's when you get your feelings hurt when your presumptuous and don't go to where you want, you have to go into it without expectation. That way there's no disappointments and if it goes well you're rewarded

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

I would have assumed she just wanted to be friends. It's not so much about trying to move quickly into a sexual relationship, but about that dance between seeing if there is mutual chemistry or just friendly energy. If she was adamant that she was interested in a relationship but wanted to take things very slowly, then I'd be willing to see her more.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I wouldn't take it personally, but unless she gives a reason why, I would assume she wasn't interested and wouldn't ask for a follow up date because at that point expressing physicsl/sexual attraction was done on my end, but if it is turned down, I see it as her not being interest in me that way.

slatyb · Answer

I never ask for a kiss. If a woman wants to be kissed, she makes it pretty obvious by getting close enough to make it easy for me to kiss her. If it doesn't happen on the first date, no big deal. If we're going to see each other again, it will happen then. As long as I'm enjoying being with her, I can wait. My experience dating in my 30's was that after three dates women invited me to bed.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would a kiss occur on a first date? I understand  why  one would  want  to kiss, but that is just way too soon. Even if both people had been messaging online and even talked on the phone for a while, kissing is something for several dates forward. The first date, even the first  few  dates, are for getting to know each other on a higher level than they can before meeting. Kisses are for maybe 4 or 5 dates in or later. I'd be the  other  way, any woman fixated on getting kissed as quickly as possible would make me think she is not really interested in getting to know me, but only in the physical side.

RHK36 · Answer

I prefer a kiss to happen organically. If she stops it on a first date then I'm going to see it as a red flag. If a first kiss is that big of deal then they sound immature to me. I got kisses from random girls in grade school and now all of sudden we are too shy while on a date. Grow up lol. If a kiss is a big deal miss me with your Disney dreamin inexperienced nerd having ass 😆. I'm playin pls don't get offended 😅

Unit1 · Answer

I don't really care. I've been on date number 3 that went good and there was no kiss. No big deal whatsoever.

Kiss or no kiss, be that as it may. I have zero interest in forcing it to happen. That also explains me having sex with my hands on the regular.

MarkDown · Answer

No, I don't take it personally. I look at it from a different viewpoint than that. If she doesn't want to kiss on the first date, she clearly wants to know someone better. That would mean she has a higher standard and care about herself, which is a very good thing. If a girl will kiss or more with me on the first day, I question who else she would kiss or more with on the first date. So, thinking of it that way, not kissing on the first day is a good thing.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I don't fuck on the first date and I take offense. I might shit in her trash can and wipe my ass with her pillowcase while she's in the bathroom... Of course, I would just go home.

BikingTrail · Answer

If things went well i would question why she didn't want to. it would make me feel like she was not interested. Although i have been on some where she was the one who started it but then message later that she wasn't interested or just ghost me

BingoBob · Answer

women can be trusted but no more. Once there were ladies… not any more. They all have a past and all vilify lie to Men, themselves and each other. Men are seen as an accessory, to match a new lifestyle.

As a man… having sex, no problem. Lots of ways to make that happen. All consensual and legal… Finding a woman to trust, much more difficult problem.

Men can be lied about and cheated… because they deserve it, right? real men were patient with this s***…

no more, the gender war is back and if I hear of a woman who is scared anymore, I wonder what she’s living about. Do Not Help Them, it is a trap!!!

ALL WOMEN ARE LIARS - there is nothing else to believe because that is the truth. How long ago was it that Eve lied to Adam?

Juxtapose · Answer

If you don't even give me a peck on the cheek then you are less comfortable giving me physical affection than my own family lol. Red flag.

steveusna · Answer

I cannot believe all of the craziness I am reading from men and women. Guys: If a woman refuses to kiss you on a first date, don't call her ever again. She is just not into you and she is manipulating you. Every woman that I have ever gone out with on a first date, I have kissed unless I knew I wouldn't call her or see her again.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Nah, maybe they don't kiss people so quickly and need time to really warm up. As long as I knew she showed signs of liking and enjoying our time together..

NathanDavis · Answer

I like when they want to... but they don't more often than not, they just go for it... because I never did, lol...

HappyWoman34 · Answer

If it took 3 dates or longer, I’d be suspicious about whether or not there was any interest-or if he was gay or asexual or impotent.

MysticDevice · Answer

I'd be a little dissappointed if the chemistry was there by the end of the first date. But if a kiss doesn't happen its not like a big deal or anything

KrakenAttackin · Answer

By "kiss" do you include a peck on the cheek after a hug?

Anonymous · Answer

a dude once got offended because i didn't want to and then he was being a big baby about it by slowly stopping contact. was ridiculous for a grown man.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Most people would be uncomfortable with kissing on the first date.

LazerBean · Answer

Definitely would not be interested in someone who kissed on the first date.

Zestyassmf1997 · Answer

I wouldn’t be suspicious. And maybe I’m the weird one. But I don’t think a kiss on the first date is like crazy or out of line.

elecguy73 · Answer

A kiss from someone can feel very intimate, also it can progress things faster, then intended.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No, it's understanding for me.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I no longer kiss on a first date because I want to know her before I we have any level of intimacy.

Jersey2 · Answer

I would understand… and I would take it as a challenge… oh, I’m gonna get that kiss :D

Agent_Elflord · Answer

I wouldn’t. First date’s kinda fast for that anyway, I ‘d save it for when we’re exclusive.

worldscolide · Answer

I dont kiss on the first date.. 2nd sure.. not the first.

TallAnon · Answer

I wouldn't expect anything physical, besides; Everyone should go at their own pace, no use rushing them.

Anonymous · Answer

If I agreed to go on a date I will give the guy a nice kiss. I'm curious about that part too.

dudeinohio · Answer

In my generation, it is customary for a kiss after the first date. So I was never turned down.

AmeerX · Answer

I don't kiss 😅. I would be okay hugging and holding hands.

RingOfFire · Answer

I would understand. I don't go for the kiss unless it's obvious she is willing. Don't want to force it and can understand if she's not ready. I respect her for that and if I am otherwise attracted to her after that date I might even admire it.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No; of course not. Lol. It's a first date! That's WAY too early! 😅

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don’t take it personally at all not all women are keen to do that on the first date. All you can do is shoot your shot and whatever happens, happens.

Minahh · Answer

I don't like kisses on first dates generally, person just wants you in bed

Jerre · Answer

I have never experienced that thus far so difficult to say what I would do.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Not at all I probably won't want a kiss on the first date

Indio1375 · Answer

I would feel that it didn't go as well as I thought

kellytheman · Answer

Nah I don’t mind if she doesn’t want to kiss on the first date but I would maybe like a hug at least if it was a good first date. Maybe even a good night phone call be nice also.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i'd be offended if anyone didn't want to kiss me

lillyyylea · Answer

it is only the first date so we don‘t know each other well

Anonymous · Answer

I would be sad and take it personally. Usually people kiss on the first date

Anonymous · Answer

I would not kiss a guy on the first date. I'm not trying to catch HPV.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I don't kiss on the first date.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That would be one big red flag.

blondfrog · Answer

No I don't take that personally.

Anonymous · Answer

no i like it better if we don't kiss on the first date

litty736 · Answer

I prefer them not kissi game on the first date

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

I’ve only had sex on my first dates lmao.

kingmaker21 · Answer

I definitely lost interest

Anonymous · Answer

Tbh I wouldn't expect them to since it just our first date

getwiththepg · Answer

I don’t think that’s an issue.

HouseMoat · Answer

Probably

believer11 · Answer

I'd be concerned.

Do you take it personally if someone does not want to kiss you on a first date? Even if the date went well, would you lose interest?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

No, it's understanding for me.

Do guys lose interest when you don’t kiss them on the first date?

Do you take it personally if someone does not want to kiss you on a first date? Even if the date went well, would you lose interest?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

No, it's understanding for me.

Do guys lose interest when you don’t kiss them on the first date?

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