Should I even try with a guy every girl fawns over?

[Anonymous]

I'm really interested in this guy from college but he gets hit on in every single lecture. Despite all the attention and advances women make at him he still remains very humble and almost insecure but he still manages to flirt back with EVERY girl and act super smiley and confident if he tries. I know he checked me out plenty of times but I feel like he likes pretty much every girl (like Dexter from the movie or netflix series "one day") and I don't want to be just another fangirl or a footnote in his life. What should I do?

[Flatmanlewis]

Sure you should. You have nothing to lose. If you think you’ll be a footnote after speaking to him, then walk. If not, it’s worth your time. In fact, I suspect the fact every girl likes him probably (at least minimally) is part of the fascination with him.

[Asker]

No I only noticed this recently. I’ve known him for 6 years and in that time he gained a lot of confidence

[RingOfFire]

When a guy is really attractive to a lot of girls, it's hard to tell if his interest in you is just because he wants the attention or if he really has an interest. If he is flirting with a lot of other girls that's not a good sign. A guy who can take relationships seriously doesn't do that. I would be really careful here and not do anything unless he approaches you first. In the meantime I would keep my options open.

[PetLover24]

Why would you even bother?

He is indeed insecure & he will "fall" for any girl that gives him attention. He knows that he'll get it because well cheaper or dimwitted women are constantly giving it. Once that attention is over, they're both bored & sick of each other.

Such men are generally NOT good news. So BE smart & DON'T waste your time.

[Paris13]

Could Be He Will Not Be Into aReal Relationship. If So, Maybe aDate is Fine For now. His Situation with Other Girls? They May still Fawn Over Him, Regardless Who He With. And If he Cares about Some Girl He Would Date or Mate, He should Not Flirt. xxoo

[Paris13]

Tanks, Gag. xxoo

[Pinay_ako]

If he has eyes only on you and only you, you don’t need to sweat over the other chicks around him.

[Asker]

he has eyes on whoever is nice to him lol

[Pinay_ako]

Well when you talk to him or whenever he’s around others, does he look your way?

[Asker]

yeah he used to talk about me to his friends and stare on purpose but I ignored him out of anxiety

[AaronKrieger]

Think of dating through the mindset of "are we compatible" instead of it being personal. If you reject someone or if you get rejected, then it just means you are not compatible. Also, the answer will always be no if you do not ask, so you might as well try.

My only other piece of advice is to casually look out for signs he is using you if he is interested. A lot of people in college are at an impulsive time of their life whether it's drugs or sex.

[Biancam13]

This guy is wise

[Jellyfish120]

Damn girl! Be aware of such kind of guys. They ARE insecure since their security is only external - attention from girls for an ego boost.

If he flirts with you, he flirts with others too. If he tells you about his real life struggles and about why he cries at night, well, he's interested.

Just please... please please... be careffull. These guys are like vampires, they suck your blood (attention) and leave.

[Nirmroth]

Well you wanna have "what ifs" later on? Just go for it and if you feel like he's treating you like a footnote so be it and move on.

[Asker]

I've been crushing on him for 7 years, im not normal :(

[Nirmroth]

Girl what? Now you definitly have to do it. That obsession will eat you up and you will start to build fantasy castles with no real foundation. Its really time you get a conclusion.

Text me tomorrow how it went

[Sonorous]

No you should go for that one dude in the class who always smells funny, rarely makes eye contact & looks like his closet is the floor of his bedroom.

[lightbulb27]

yes, approach him as a normal person and get to know him and you'll win. all these other girls have no game.

[Asker]

Why do you think they have no game?

[lightbulb27]

They are selfish and dont know how to approach him.

[Asker]

They do approach jim

[lightbulb27]

Are you hearing what i saying?

[Asker]

Yeah vut I don’t understand how you come to your conclusions that they have no game

[lightbulb27]

Just do what i said and treat him like a normal person. he's not comfortable w aggressive females just be good person. I say again… they probably approach w nervous energy and thats poison to his psyche.

[Asker]

No they don’t trust me, I’ve observed them

[lightbulb27]

Seek therapy

[andreasderjuengere]

For me (and "us" men) one girl among many will stand out.
This could indeed be you.
You don't need to throw yourself at him, but it won't hurt to let him see your interest.

[Asker]

he knows about my interest and he was interested too but I don't know what to do because I think he has a girlfriend atm

[andreasderjuengere]

In this case, I'd consider a person "off limits" for the time being :)

[Asker]

he always has some girls in his life he chases

[Tharithi]

It’s only u who thinks everyone wants them.

[Asker]

but literally every time I see him some girl walks up to him and strikes up a conversation

[Tharithi]

How u both look? What’s his personality

[Asker]

I'm average, slim, short. He is tall and handsome. From what I know he is rather serious, a bit introverted and cares a lot about status and how other people perceive him. He told a few friends he was interested in me but I feel like his interest drastically diminished after he saw me awkwardly interacting with a random guy in a lecture that hit on me. Maybe because he doesn't want to be associated with someone as awkward as I am or because he wants someone more extroverted and outgoing

[Tharithi]

Why do u think all guys like him , he seems avg tbh

[Asker]

girls you mean?

[Asker]

and how do you know he is useless? :D

[Tharithi]

Why u think highly of them

[Asker]

He is my type and he is neither too serious nor immature, he is smart, good looking, ambitious, empathetic, well mannered, well spoken etc.

[Tharithi]

So? How do u look? Describe yourself

[Asker]

Why does it matter?

[Tharithi]

Because u have low self esteem

[Asker]

What does that matter?

[Tharithi]

Why u are not as good looking as him

[Asker]

Because I don’t have as striking features as he does

[Tharithi]

Damn what striking about his features 😆pls explain. U even think him talking to someone normally is being hit on

[Asker]

I’ve seen how girls check him out ok? Even my mother says he looks like a snack

[Tharithi]

Damnnn please describe him now. And what do u think u lack? That makes u not as appealing

[Asker]

Im just average ok? Not everyone can look like a model

[Tharithi]

Im also a girl. What look makes a girl model?

[Tharithi]

And what striking features they have

[Asker]

You can look up the channel qoves studio if you are interested in that

[Asker]

*youtube Channel

[Tharithi]

No I want your perspective

[Asker]

He has more prominent cheekbones, bigger eyes, defined masculine jaw, fuller hair etc

[Tharithi]

Fuller hair? U are a girl , grow yours. U are a girl , use mascara and eyeliner to make eyes bigger. No big deal

[Asker]

My hair is long but it’s just not much. I already use mascara and eyeliner

[Tharithi]

How tall are u both? What’s your weights

[Asker]

LOL I don’t know what he weighs, we are both slim, I’m 5 ft 3 and he is 6 ft 4

[Tharithi]

Whaaat? 6,4 ? That’s very tall and u are very short

[Asker]

Yup I know 😂

[Tharithi]

What’s your approximate weights?

[Asker]

Im a size 8, him I don't know

[Asker]

I don’t weigh myself so I can’t tell

[Tharithi]

Approx?

[Tharithi]

What’s your personality? What do u mean he cares about status?

[Asker]

Status symbols like watches, cars, vacation, women etc.

[Asker]

About 120 lbs I guess

[Asker]

He also cares a lot about what his friends think of his girlfriend and he wants them to get along

[Tharithi]

His weight?

[Asker]

I don’t know he is slim but not skinny

[Tharithi]

Ohhh aprox how much he weigh? U can Level up by dressing right?

[Asker]

i already dress well

[Tharithi]

What do u wear. And how much does he weigh. U tell as if he has abs

[Twalli]

He probably flirts back because he's single. Go for it if you want to date him. He probably won't if hd he actually has a girlfriend. If he doesn't stop, then you know, but most guys aren't as flirty with a girlfriend.

[Asker]

but he went on vacation with his female "friend" alone and they both posted it on their instagram. they also go together to puppy yoga and football games. to me sounds like they are a couple

[Twalli]

Okay that does sound like he has a girlfriend. Maybe he's a flirty guy. A guy can be flirty and make girls think there might be something between them when it's only one sided.

[Asker]

He also deleted tve playlist he made for me after a year

[boggboss]

If your not willing to compete with the other girls just move on

[Asker]

I'm afraid that even if things turn out great he would replace me as soon as things get tough (as they always do at some point)

[boggboss]

So because if the attention he gets u think he will replace any partner he has as soon as things get tough if thats what u think then don't date him

[Asker]

Not only because of the attention but also because he is very open and welcoming to every girl that just smiles at him. He is not picky at all

[boggboss]

So him being picky would be better then him being polite

[Asker]

You can be polite without returning advances, you know?

[boggboss]

He could also enjoy the flirting aspect itself or do it back to not make people feel rejected wither way if these things are issues for you its better for u to not try to date him as the attention he gets would bother u

[Asker]

he doesn't just respond to the flirting, he escalates it

[boggboss]

Then maybe he enjoys flirting with them

[Asker]

yup he enjoys EVERYONE

[boggboss]

OK he enjoys flirting with people that flirt with him

[Asker]

would you want to be with a woman that throws herself at every man that is nice to her?

[boggboss]

I wouldn't mind if my partner flirted with men that flirted with her before I was even with her

[Tharithi]

How do u say that

[Tharithi]

This dude is useless don’t bother with him

[boggboss]

Lol u could be responding on your own question if u want to talk to op 🤣

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t hit on him. Let him make the first move. Be friendly but don’t fawn on him.

[KrakenAttackin]

You should shoot your shot just don't lead with sex. If he is genuinely interested in you he will want to get to know you.

[alexandraa1]

If you're really interested, talk to him see if there's actually potential

[Asker]

well according to some men here I have not much to offer apart from my body

[JHAYES317]

Lucky guy…I’d say no, unless you are the type of girl who also gets hit on constantly

[karlainsd]

It is bad since other girls are always getting his attention

[DextroShade]

I am sure he will give you dick and little else.

[Asker]

what makes you think so?

[Asker]

am i not worthy of anything else?

[DextroShade]

This is a man who is young and obviously has options, meaning he has no incentive to settle down at this point in his life. If you want a serious relationship you should look elsewhere and also seriously think about what you have to offer a man besides your body.

[Asker]

yes he is not young forever and with every day less and less desirable women will be available.
are you implying i have nothing to offer except for looks?

[DextroShade]

Ma'am, I don't know you or what you have to offer and in the case of this Chad you are asking about it may not even matter because he probably isn't looking for a serious relationship when he has all these options. Also, unlike women, men tend to get more valuable as they age. If you want to know how valuable men think and what they are looking for I recommend you watch Kevin Samuels videos on YouTube.

[Asker]

Hahahahahshsh Kevin samuels

[Peridot25]

Stay away from those type of guys.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Asker]

what? :D