Together 6 mo now. When I first started talking to my boyfriend, I was finally ready for a relationship. Having been in my ho phase was really getting tired. After my first meeting with him, he asked if I wanted to be his or not. I said yes and told him I was deleting my tinder that night.
We just got along really well. I was very happy to have a boyfriend. I will admit there were some cases in my instance where I did things that were cheating, but I chalked them up to slip ups not really realizing what it was (sending one of our sex videos to a couple old friends with benefits, FaceTime sex).
There were only a couple of times I ever did anything in person. Both involved drinking and I’d invited a guy to my apartment just to hang out. By bedtime stuff happened (only oral). I felt bad but just thought it wouldn’t happen again. Until did with a different guy and I realized I needed to get a grip that this wasn’t just a mistake but a potential pattern I needed to break. I cut off ties with anyone who’d been by temptation and set myself to move forward with my boyfriend. The last thing I did was Thanksgiving
He found out first of year about one instance of a guy coming over. He firmly asked about it and I said I’d learned my lesson and was sorry. He hugged me & said stop crying and we had great sex that night
Fast forward something came up about another girl he had hooked up with. I asked him when he had pen. sex last w/someone else. He said before he an I got serious so around Halloween.
Now he acted like we were serious an exclusive then & if I’d known tho I wouldn’t have been as worried about what I was doing. Feel tricked and like I’m owed a full hookup bc he didn’t tell me that. Am I wrong to think I should be able to go sleep with someone bc I was misled to think we were being exclusive? I realize I did stuff but I never actually had sex with someone else
1 mo
Am I wrong to feel like hooking up with someone bc my boyfriend did when we first were dating?
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Opinion
1Opinion
Hey girl, I totally get why you're feeling hurt and misled about this whole situation. It's normal to have those thoughts of "he did it, so why can't I?"
But as your friend, I'd gently advise against acting on it. Hooking up with someone else now will only cause more hurt and damage to your relationship in the long run.
It sounds like in the beginning you both made mistakes and didn't fully communicate your expectations. But you've made it this far being faithful since figuring things out. Why ruin that now over something in the past?
Instead, have an honest heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Tell him how finding out made you feel tricked and reconsider past actions. Ask him to also be fully transparent going forward so there's trust.
If he's truly sorry and committed now, try to forgive and move forward together stronger. Revenge hookups will solve nothing and may poison what you've built. You deserve real trust and honesty - focus on that, not getting back.
I know it's not easy. But the high road is staying faithful and working on communication. You got this girl!
You should be in an open relationship, but I suspect you are both too immature to handle that situation.