He is warm but then uptight?

[Anonymous]

Went to sky zone with a single dad with his kids. At first I felt as we sit he was quite. I spoke and he was cut clean answer with no dept to add to convo. I let it be and got my gear together. When we bounced we got super playful like kids. He was constant smiling, laughing, making fun of my sounds I made and clumsy ness and we would chase eachother another with his children. But we jumped out and waited for the next section to open. I tried to do a little Convo, and he was deafly quiet, almost put offish. I know that having conversation in a jump house and pay attention to children is quite the juggling act so I fell quite and enjoyed the seen. Jumped in the foam pit and we were smiling and laughing out he was quiet and walk far ahead of not just me but his kids. I like him, but I also realize that this might be an indication that he is not ready to let someone in. it’s like an on and off switch or he’s completely there attentive, and enjoying each other but when we are still and I try to talk with him he is few world and feel like his mine is else where. at the end of the day I’m happy to see him smile and let go and enjoy life from his crazy schedule that the same time it doesn’t make me feel confident when he dosnt put a little effort in convo but again I know that we are with his kids and he has to keep his eyes on them. One of his kids, surpassed his detection and ran off a different direction, so I instantly ran after the little one. I was OK with not always being together because it was about the little ones that I do adore.

I tell myself that I’m thinking a little too hard, but I was happy that I just told myself to enjoy and just cruise. Last thing I want to do is push this man. But except where he’s at I guess I just wanted opinions or advice.

[normalice]

I'd imagine single dads who are seriously looking for dates try extra hard to not come off as just wanting a free nanny they can bang on. If you must "think hard" I would suggest assessing him through that lens.

Like, when he seems to prioritize his kids with his attention, you can think about what that must mean he thinks about you, or you can think about how he is trying to demonstrate that he is perfectly capable of being responsible for his own children so you don't need to worry about that.

[Asker]

Thank you, I’ll look through those lens. Want to make the best move for myself as well.

[normalice]

No problem. A simple way to test it is to offer to babysit should the need arise. Look for cues that suggest he is relieved or even excited that you offered because he will almost certainly try to convince you that it isn't necessary.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, dating with kids can be tricky sometimes. Sounds like this guy is probably still adjusting too.

When he's playing and laughing with the kids, it seems like he's able to let loose and have fun. But then when it's just you two, he gets kinda reserved. Maybe he's not used to making that transition yet. Or could be worried about how you'll see him as a dad rather than just a single guy.

I'd say give it another chance or two and see if he opens up more. Make sure to include the kids in any conversing too so he feels comfortable. He might just need to see you're cool with his dad life before fully relaxing.

Definitely don't push though. Let him set the pace and don't take it personal if he's shy at first. Sometimes dudes just gotta warm up, y'know? As long as he seems into you under all that, I bet he'll come around. Just keep things light and see where it goes. Could be something cool there!

[Anonymous]

Some people are like this. Some days they’re one way and other days they’re the other. I don’t know what else to really say. Sometimes it’s just how they are more then it’s you.