Why does this dynamic exist?

[Anonymous]

Ok so good girls go for bad boys, bad girls seem to go for bad boys and basically the only one left out which no girls seem to want are the good guys. Lastly I also wanted to draw a distinction there are some guys who claim be good guys but below the surface it’s an act. Other people describe me as a good guy in my previous relationship I wasn’t abusive like her ex and it ended up causing the relationship to end quick

[genericname85]

well being "a good boy" is boring as fuck. it's the same mechanism that makes the media show you extreme outlandish shit instead of the mundande and the normal. it gets less attention. and then also there's that thing where guys who typically label themself as "good guys" typically aren't all that good.

[Cheapskate]

You can't buy a woman's affection by being nice to her.

She either likes you or she doesn't.

But being nice to people in general in life, out of principle, that is attractive.

[Asker]

I wasn’t buying her affection I was there for her when she was sick I constantly did things that showed I cared. Her sister was on the verge of going homeless I told her no she can stay in my apartment seeing through I wasn’t there very much. I also filled the fridge with groceries for her to eat

[Cheapskate]

That is super good of you, bro, but like you yourself said, it doesn't mean someone is gonna have romantic feelings for you. Unfortunately.

[HateyouxD]

If you're her first good guy. .. run

[Asker]

Yeah I was confused I treated her special I took her out on spontaneous dates, got her tickets to her favorite shows, thoughtful gifts like a brand new just dropped Ariana grande perfume for Christmas, a flower and pink coach purse for her birthday. I was also by her side when she was sick on multiple occasions. She would not look well so I would say we are going to the hospital to have it looked at. She would say you make me feel loved but then everything flips I start getting verbally and physically abused she starts gaslighting lying to her friends and our mutual friends like I’m the one getting hit and they are lashing out at me blaming me. Her previous ex boyfriend was abusive he called her names, she called it sexual manipulation but I called it sexual assault because he would have her do sexual acts against her will by pressure she often said she just went along with it so he would stop. Well she didn’t prosecute him actually he went on to get another girl pregnant and was with her and this girl begged to go back to him. I guess I don’t get reality she could so easily break up with someone who treated her right also even after the breakup I would call her to keep her updated about our dog we shared she would still verbally abuse me on the phone I haven’t called since but I don’t understand how in the past she would easily run back to someone who abused her but when she breaks up with a guy who didn’t do any of that and treated her good not only does he get shitted on but also she doesn’t want to talk to him or have anything to do with his life anymore.

[HateyouxD]

You need to heal of this. I don't think I can help you much. But she's manipulative and you sound like such a sweet guy. I wouldn't abuse that. I hope you move on and be happy. No reason to be stuck anymore. Don't let her win

[Asker]

Yeah I think of things I did like I highlighted above I even took care of her sister. Her sister was about to go homeless and I said she could stay in my apartment seeing though I wasn’t there much I also filled the refrigerator. Also gave her money to buy necessities and helped her setup a bank account

[HateyouxD]

You were deff taken advantaged of. Even abused. Don't change because your ex was shit. Feel people out first before you date them. Many wear masks so be careful next time