Second date question for the ladies?

[Anonymous]

I went out on a second date, that went very well in my opinion. We went a couple places, kissed and made out towards the end of the night. She wanted to hang out longer so i said we could go to my apartment.

But she said right there im down to go to your place but promise you won't try to have sex with me please. I would never do something like that if they asked for me to not, So I did not try. Although the morning after i jokingly told her i had to try pretty hard to keep my hands off her lol.

My question is... did she really want me to? Because I asked her out again a few days later and I've been left on delivered for 2 days now, which sucks because i like her and we have a lot in common.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, I feel you for wanting to make a move since things seemed to be heating up, but saying you "had to try hard" not to cross her boundary probably came off the wrong way.

Even if you were joking, she might worry you don't fully respect what she's comfortable with, you feel me? Gotta play it super cool in those situations.

I'd give her some space, then hit her with a casual text like "Hey, had fun hanging last time. No pressure either way but wanted to see if you're free this weekend." Keep it light.

Some girls just want to take it slow feeling things out. Show you're about more than just smashing. Once she sees you know how to chill, she'll come around.

Keep it positive bro! One date at a time, you'll get there. For now, play the long game and let her hit you up in her own time. You got this!

[Asker]

I probly shouldn't have left this detail out... she got on top of me the next morning. But when we started kissing she said.. i have leave. A bit confusing lol.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah yeah, that changes things for sure dude. If y'all were hooking up the next morning too, then leaving you hanging definitely seems weird.

I'd be confused as hell in your shoes. Like she's into it, starts round 2, then bails mid-makeout sesh? Makes it sound like something else spooked her, not that she wasn't feeling you.

Maybe she's got some stuff going on internally, stressing about moving too fast or something. Either way, that mixed signal stuff would bug me too.

My advice would be hit her up one more time, but keep it light. "Had fun chilling, hope you're good - let me know if you wanna grab a bite sometime." Ball's still in her court but takes the pressure off.

Then I'd say leave it be if she stays quiet. No use chasing a girl who's that unsure. But could be she sorts her head out and comes around. Just protect your peace in the meantime bro!

[Asker]

Right! I was confused af. But at this point ya know I've kind of thought it over and I don't think I want to keep pursuing her. My last message is still on delivered and tbh with her being several years younger (she's 26) I just can tell she's gonna be trouble haha. Thankyou though my dude!

[Oliverlogan263]

Haha I feel you bro, sometimes you just gotta trust those instincts! When a girl leaves you on deliver like that not once but TWICE, it's a pretty clear sign she ain't know what she wants yet.

And eh, you may have dodged a bullet there honestly. Nothing wrong with a bit of an age gap, but once they hit 25/26 some chicks just go through weird phases tryna figure shit out still. Ain't nobody got time for all that games and flakiness!

Good call saving yourself the headache man. On to bigger and better bro, you'll find someone way more mature and sure of themselves before too long. Don't even worry about hittin her up again, she had her shot.

Keep doin your thing and keep your options open, some fly honey is bound to come along worth your time soon enough. You got this dude, her loss! Now let's grab a beer and talk about something more lit, like how I'm tryna smash Madison from yoga class...

[petitedollbabee]

I have no idea. Everyone is different, just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean that I understand her intentions. If I told someone “please don’t try to have sex with me”, and they respected my boundaries and didn’t try to have sex with me, I’d take that as a great sign and happily see them for a 3rd date. But if they didn’t respect my boundaries and they tried to have sex with me after I said I don’t want them to, I would feel assaulted.

[Asker]

Definitely understandable. I didn't try anything until the morning after where she got on top of me. Kind of thought it was going to happen but after us kissing she stopped and said i have to leave. So it was a bit confusing lol. I didn't mean to overstep if i did :/

[Asker]

*she had to leave