Why is she insecure and not me?

[Butchcanty86]

My girlfriend many say is "average" looking and slightly overweight. We will be married by the end of this year (looks great to me). As far as myself, I've been told that I'm "handsome" by a lot of women, have also been in a lot of relationships, on a lot of dates, and have had a lot of intimate/casual partners. I guess that validates that women haven't been lying about my looks? I don't know. Anyway even with all of that, I have never been approached, nor does anyone flirt with me, nor do I receive messages or texts like other guys might believe I do. I can go to a bar or store and feel invisible (oddly). When women hear me say this is my experience, they are absolutely shocked. All that dating action I mentioned above, came from dating apps ONLY and not public organic exchanges or meetings where I've ran into a woman while out and about. Anyway, I say all of that to mention that my girlfriend (soon to be fiance) has anxiety with us living 3 hours from each other because she is afraid I might cheat or another woman will take me away from her? But my girlfriend is the one who gets messages, DMs, and guys after meanwhile it's bare bones for me as far as women after me even though I'm younger than my girlfriend and work out regularly. I don't receive any inquiries from any women nor any indication that any would try to get me to cheat, etc. So ladies, why does she feel the way she does and exactly who is going to try and take me away from her 🤔 when obviously SHE is the one pursued.

[ManOnFire]

As far as why she gets more male attention than you get female attention, it's because she's average looking and chubby like you noted. Girls like that tend to be highly sexually attractive to men, and chubby, average girls - in my view - probably have more sex than so-called gorgeous girls. The guys who are DMing her want sex with her. It's actually quite normal for guys to be into girls like this.

As for why she's insecure and worried about you cheating or being stolen by another woman, I would assume it's because she knows you've had a lot of partners and dates. It concerns her, or maybe even makes her somewhat jealous. It's not entirely good for her to be insecure like that, but what I can say is, take it as a little bit of a power move. It means she likes and wants you enough to keep her in her life. That's better than most other women who see their male partners as expendable or someone to compete with about how much sex she can have compared to him.

[Butchcanty86]

Yes I have had a lot of partners and dates but again, I go about my business and I do not receive any attention, at all from the opposite sex. All of that stuff I received was off of initiation from dating apps only. I only received those compliments during the dates and after hanging out with those women, communicating with them, etc. But I'm not pursued. 8 and 9 ratings on the looks scale but I'm NOT pursued, she has nothing to worry about. Not saying I would entertain if they did pursue me just making a case that she is worried about nothing.

[ManOnFire]

@Butchcanty86 Well, if I were you I wouldn't be worried about any of it. If you already have a woman in your life who loves you and gives you attention, that's all that matters. Unless this is about an ego boost for you if you did get attention from other women? Better to have none than to have all the women out there disrespect your relationship by trying to sleep with you because they're attracted to guys who have a woman already.

[Butchcanty86]

@ManOnFire I will say this.. do I want to cheat on her and be with other women? No!! But the fact that I am a few years younger, work out all the time, and keep myself good maintenance and am the breadwinner and SHE is the one who gets attention all the time, does make me feel some type of way or at least makes me feel like my value in the relationship is lower. Like man, if she wanted to, she could replace me tomorrow and she'd have someone lined up. Meanwhile more effort on my end, to replace her. If that makes sense.

[ManOnFire]

@Butchcanty86 Makes plenty of sense. I just don't think you should care so much because she DOESN'T want to replace you. Most women want guys to have anxiety about that, they want men to feel like their chances at sex or dating are less than theirs and that we have to be at their mercy. Just be thankful you don't have a woman like that.

[Chelsdope0]

Ugh! I hate that she’s marrying you. She deserves soo much better.

[Butchcanty86]

I could be cheating on her but I'm not. And most women leave when they think they can do better. So if she ever feels like that, I pray 🙏 that she does leave me instead of waste my time. Thank you for your feedback 😊.

[Chelsdope0]

No be a real man and tell her that you aren’t in love with her instead of letting her feed your pathetic ego

It’s sad. Let her go so a proper good man can love her.

[Butchcanty86]

She is the one pursued yet I am the one that has an ego. That just let's me know you as a woman feel like every man should be in a relationship where he fears hypergamy or a woman having leverage, options and can leave him at any given moment, that's what your response tells me. And that doesn't surprise me.

[Chelsdope0]

What does you pursuing her first have to do with anything?

At the end of the day you’re just a jackass and you need to let her go

[Butchcanty86]

I said SHE is pursued first you entitled brat

[Butchcanty86]

Notice how you cursed at me and I didn't you. Tells me not to take your response seriously. Or YOU

[Butchcanty86]

That's just dumb ASF. I have an Ego yet she is the one being chased. F anything else you say.

[Chelsdope0]

You are so BITCH made. Yikes

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if she is the insecure one here.

[Butchcanty86]

I'm not the one who has anxiety, she does.

[Anonymous]

You tell me you know her face-to-face

[Butchcanty86]

Know who face to face? I'm confused.

[Opinion Owner]

Your girlfriend

[Butchcanty86]

Why would I not know her. Need more clarification on what you are trying to say. Say exactly what you are trying to say

[Opinion Owner]

You said Why is she insecure and not me?
I’m telling you ask her

[Butchcanty86]

What you mean? It's in my description. Because she feels I have all of these imaginary women chasing me.

[In_Trance]

Because she doesn't believe in herself

[Butchcanty86]

But why not? I could have chose another woman I matched with but I chose her. I do not understand. And as invisible as I feel to other women, being the attention she receives, I should be the one not to believe in myself.