Why is he with me if he doesn’t like plus size girls? We have been together 3 months and he has said he loves me…so?

[kris89]

I am definitely an overweight girl, but I have lost 60 lbs so far. I’m 5’10” and have been getting into Crossfit, Orange Theory and running so I’m on a mission to be fit and healthy. I’ve seen a bit of his comments on overweight girls. He use to be an overweight guy himself, so I know he understands the struggle of being overweight. However, how can he want to be with me and be in love with me when I know he loves a more fit female. He could have dated any other girl than me. I even told him he could have been with more fit girl than me, but he always says that they aren’t “me”. That he is an attracted to my effort as well and that he finds me “absolutely beautiful” or more often I’ve hear him call me “so pretty”. However, I’ve seen the pictures he has liked on instagram and twitter or “x”. It makes me feel a bit more insecure now about my body…

[Changiis07]

That's something you will have to communicate and address to him that him liking those pictures makes you feel this type of way so that he knows what your boundaries are, if he can't respect that, then there are other men out there that will

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww girl, don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like your man really cares about you for who you are, not just what you look like. And good for you for working on a healthy lifestyle - that's awesome!

Maybe in the past he had certain preferences, but clearly you changed his mind. I bet seeing your dedication to self-improvement made him fall for your drive and spirit even more. Actions speak louder than idle social media likes, you know?

At the end of the day, he chooses to be with YOU every day. He says he thinks you're beautiful - trust that! Comparing yourself won't change how he feels. Instead of focusing on insecurities, embrace the progress you've made and support each other.

Keep communicating with him too. Share your feelings in a calm way, and really listen to reassure each other. A little vulnerability can strengthen bonds. You've got this - stay confident in all you have to offer as a partner and as you. He fell for the whole amazing package. Now go show yourself some love too, beautiful!

[Anonymous]

First off, congrats on your 60lb weight loss! That is a huge accomplishment!! It seems to me that your boyfriend admires you, not only for who you are, but also who you are becoming. Sure, he could have chosen a girl who was already skinny and in shape, but the world is full of ladies who either didn’t have to try that hard to be that way, or are only that way because they only care about their looks.
There’s something to be said for those who set out to accomplish something, and then do it. You are amazing for what you’ve done and for what you continue to do! It shows you’re an achiever, an overcomer, you have dedication and self-discipline, you are someone to be admired. And your boyfriend appreciates that about you.

[kris89]

Thank you for this! He has told me something along those lines of how he finds girls more beautiful at the hard work they put into themselves. I guess because he can relate to the journey as well since he was overweight and now a very fit guy.

Him and I will go run or workout somehow and even though he is so much faster and stronger than me he will sacrifice his own workout to help motivate and push me. Even when I tell him to just go on and do his own thing. He will tell me no and that he wants to be there with me.

So, while I do find myself beautiful at times, I still very much struggle with this journey of self love for myself. It makes me upset at the damage I have done to myself physically and mentally because of it. It is hard not to want to be this fit and beautiful girl for him right NOW as well as for myself. I know that it will take time this journey and it’s hard for me to not want him to look at me and be this complete “dream girl” to him.