What should I do as a man with my issues with women?

[Anonymous]

I think I must be on the spectrum because after so many years of effort developing social skills, I am still broken in many ways and just can't be like other people.

But I must look decent or maybe it's because I'm over 6 foot, but whatever it is a lot of girls and women flirt with me. And I never ever flirt back. I stand there awkwardly with an awkward smile and it's like that's all I can do.

Some girls I have worked with flirted with me relentlessly for months. One girl flirted with me for a year before I ever did anything back. She pushed me and touched me and hugged me and "bullied" me and poked me and leaned on me and so much for so long and every time I was just awkward and weird.

But if say I do end up dating a girl, it's completely different. I have 100% confidence. I'm amazing in bed. As long as I KNOW for 100% sure that she wants my sexual energy, than I'm good. And rhe only way for me to know is for it to be official.

I am absolutely paralyzed and terrified to flirt. I fear above all else to project my sexuality onto any woman for any reason unless it's explicitly stated or we are dating.

I don't need to ask for sex. Once we are dating i can take us from holding hands to having sex. But like the official term "dating" has to be there otherwise I can never flirt or push for anything sexual at all.

It's just hard being a shy weirdo. Some women will be OK wirh it but most just give up on me. How should I approach dating given my circumstances?

[Oliverlogan263]

Bro, I totally hear you on struggling with social stuff and finding your way with women. Don't be so hard on yourself though - you seem like a good dude, just gotta work on putting yourself out there a bit more.

It sounds like you overthink things a lot, which is natural if you're on the spectrum. But you gotta get out of your head sometimes, you know? Easier said than done, I know. Some girls might keep flirting to make a move more obvious, but not all will.

Maybe try joining some clubs or activity groups so you're meeting people in a lower pressure way. Focus on listening and asking questions to get comfortable talking one on one first before worrying about flirting. Apps can work too, just be straight up about wanting something casual/serious so everyone's on the same page.

Baby steps, my man. Try loosening up your definition of "dating" too - going for coffee isn't a huge commitment. Say yes when opportunities arise, even if you're nervous. And be kind to yourself - we're all works in progress. You'll get your groove, I believe in you! Let me know if you ever want a wingman sometime.

[Hellur991]

Bro ur weird I'm weird, your tall I'm tall, just like mamy reasonable attractive tall man. You just have to master being that and blunt as fuck, as well as straight off confidence, the ball is always on our court when we get flirted on and that's a fact, now take those hints their giving you and act up on them. It takes a while to get use to it but the more you do it. The more you master it. And those 2 attributes will develop to being goated. And everything will be so easy for you.

[Asker]

It's a lot of pressure because I would be flirting with so many of them. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with all that.

[Hellur991]

Look at it like this u have the rotten apple zou have the best up apple and u also have scrumptious juicy red sweet apple. Focus on one choose the best looking apple

[HappyWoman34]

Hmmm. Sounds like me in terms of awkwardness. Lol. I have mild Asperger’s; and I made the mistake of asking a guy I had feelings for many years ago to share a room. I discovered years later that he would’ve thought I was a skanky ho lol, which was actually very good advice as I was that clueless and awkward. I’m not a good person to ask about flirting. I suck at it. I think if you like a woman, always ask her out, otherwise you’ll miss out.

[Bethany22]

Why don't you just ask women out the moment you suspect they're flirting, instead of worrying about how to flirt back?

[Bethany22]

I mean since it sounds like you're above average attractive, you might be able to afford being direct with women you're attracted to without putting them off. Just ask if they want to go for coffee and go from there