How do I communicate my expectations to my boyfriend in a nice way? How do I bring it up and not sound condescending?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating a month and we haven’t gotten to see each other much because i’m busy with school. I would like to talk to him about how I want to be loved because I am super big on small gestures. I just would love for him to make me feel special in small ways. I appreciate small surprises, him planning things, him knowing my coffee order, bringing me food when it’s that time of the month, literally picking flowers on the side of the road, making me things, being creative, etc. I know it can sound bitchy but I just really want that type of princess treatment and of course Anything he needs I will do that too. I just don’t know how to mention this without sounding rude. I just feel weird asking for these things because in a way I feel like he should do it on his own if he wanted to as I have communicated this before long ago when we were friends.

[Bethany22]

You should just get your girlfriends to do that. Just focus on whether he introduces you as his girlfriend to people that mean things to him, whether he pays for dates, and whether he protects you.

That said, you could get him to plan things by asking once nicely if he would take you out to a restaurant next week (for example). If he doesn't follow through, then either go by yourself or get another guy friend to take you. You could also put curbside flowers up in a vase, or handmade card (done by you), and tell him that a secret admirer gave them to you.

[Jessica405]

I think it is much beter not to have expectations. If he doen't match what you hope for, you will just be disappointed. Wait until he does make some gesture and then make HIM feel good. He will want more praise, so will do more things for you.

[Anonymous]

Just casually ask what his love language is. If he doesn’t know what love language mean then explain (if you don’t know what they are then google) then it’s just easy to from there and tell him your love language and what you need in a relationship. You don’t have to tell gim ”you need to bring me surprises”, more like ”I feel loved and appreciated when my man surprises me”.