I know the harassment argument, but as long as you are polite, you can try to get a date even if you are rejected the first time. I think we have to put our egos aside and be vulnerable. The problem is that we don't want to seem desperate.
Men are basically sick of being told to bugger off when they approached women, often with the women using unflattering language, or if it isn't the person they approached its of the other women with them, That is what men have come to expect every time they approach a woman, and if you don't believe me the next time you are out of an evening just sit and watch how women react to a man who approaches them. In the past when women rejected a man's approach it was done politely, but today it seems that the want to reject men's approaches with as much venom as possible. And post #METOO men have learned that the slightest wrong look or word can get them labelled a "creep" at the mildest going on up to false accusations of sexual assault, etc. Men have bone a risk/benefit analysis and decided that its not worth the time or money trying to date anymore.
Maybe in this age of"Equality" its time for the women to step up and start taking the risk approaching men they want to date? But we know they won't do that because they don't want to face the risk of rejection, no matter how self assured they think they are.
I’m polite. I just get a lot of mean answers with the attached “no.” In my world, being polite doesn’t seem to work, but I’m not really into trying to be a bad boy. So I will continue to be fair and polite, and probably getting ignored.
I’m willing to improve (in general), but I’m not going to completely change who I am for someone, and I’m not begging a girl to spend time with me if she doesn’t want to. I don’t grovel. And I don’t chase much. I’ll make an effort, but if I feel unwanted, I’m out.
I’m basically over “it.” If she’s not going to give me anything to work with, if she’s not willing to even meet me halfway on some things, then I’m done pretty quickly.
I tell people the same thing (with my job). Im pretty upfront. I don’t want to work with a client who doesn’t really want to work with me.
The tougher you want to be, and the more you’re pretty clear you don’t want to work with me, or you hire me but you’ve decided you’re not going to like me, it’s going to be a rougher time. If you’re up for being a little bit open, and working with me, it’s a lot easier to have a positive experience. Otherwise, I’m not chasing you down to be my client. Or friend. Or girlfriend. There’s a lot of things I’d rather be doing with my time.
Now that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to put in a good amount of effort for people who have shown they can put in a tiny amount of effort, too. But the second I feel like I’m being too desperate, I’m pulling back.
By all means, I’ll follow up… but I quickly put the ball in her court. If she doesn’t return it, I’m not running to grab that ball and then hit it to her again and again just for the “exercise.”
Only narcissistic attention whores want to be chased. Look up the difference between chased, counted and pursued.
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u I never chased girls. I expressed my interest and asked for a date. I figured she would either say “Yes” or pull out a gun and shoot me. I was never wounded in combat!
Hmm, interesting question.
1st: Maybe because online media and communication. They seem to think it is easier, so try behind the screen for less embarressment or akwardness.. etc.
As well it is easier to comment on a story or topic (post) than just to come up with a topic out of nowhere in a street approach.
Although mastering eye contact is certainly a game changer and proper technique in my opinion.
2nd: The waste of time is unnecessary chasing girls. I agree to what others mention here. I'd really appreciate a straight rejection or 'I'll consider it' until I get the clear answer.
No flaking.. please! I understand being polite and diplomatic.. but everything has its limits. It was always possible to get a rejection anyway 🤷♂️.
3rd: Feminism obviously. I say this as first-hand experience. I really don't want to approach some girl that think she is better or more capable than me.
I don't mind she actually being and knowing she is. Just don't show it generally as a person (regardless of gender). But also as if the whole female gender is better and full of good-doings while men are fully evil.
In short, believing those silly deciets and taking genders as opposites not complementaries is a definite suppressor.
Hah, like in the movies.
It depends on what that girl has gone through. I asked this most beautiful thing that I had got to know over a couple years. She ran the beer and wine side of her stepdads liquor store. Some days she was bubbly and snappy and other times gloomy and not talkative. I figured the time of the month. Well I finally had become well enough known to her and spit it out. She frowned and said she had a boyfriend. He was a big ol boy. She was perfectly petite at 5' even maybe 105lbs. He looked 6.5 feet tall and about 265-280. Well I asked her again about 3 weeks later and she smiled and said, so sweet sounding," I still have that same boyfriend ". You see I believed pursuit could work to, like the movies. I continued to lightly and respectfully flirted with her. She became less talkative. So one evening I pulled through the drive through not wanting to have to confront her. The two girls gave me the skinny when I asked what her problem was. Seems she had been stalked by a serious one. He scared her so that she obtained a concealed carry permit. He went to jail. And I never went back to that store. Not for 15 years at which time she owned the store. She probably married that ugly big dude. oh, a couple coworkers overheard her talking about how he's to short and works construction. They said I had just pulled through the drive through and was referring to me. So shit.🥶
In the jungle, the mighty, mighty jungle, a single complaint by a woman can land a man in jail, on the registry and possibly in prison. There are dozens of somewhat high profile cases you can find online. Which suggests that there are potentially thousands or tens of thousands more that we don’t know about. It doesn’t matter if it’s not every woman every time. It has happened before, and it will happen again. It only takes one to completely destroy your life. It’s only prudent to protect yourself.
The problem for many guys is that guys start dating from different levels as different guys have different kind baselines in what they have to offer in terms of looks and abilities.
For some guys getting a woman isn´t very hard since they are attractive and charismatic, they are good at a getting to know a person and open up.
For many guys dating is hard because they are neither good looking nor charismatic. Looks matter not only for guys when they consider a woman but vice versa.
So for many guys dating seems worthless because it´s an effort they have to put in with the possible chance of staying single. The reason guys don´t chase girls is that they would have to make an effort that doesn´t gurantee success. Either you´re willing to take the risk or you don´t.
Most men don't want to aproach girls anymore due to the harrassment they recieve from girls. The girl only has to label him as a creep and his reputation is destroyed thanks to social opinions and #MeToo. In the past girls were polite about rejecting someone, nowadays the only way to reject someone is by being harsh and tell everyone how bad of a person that guy is just to make you feel good about yourself. The same with all those false rape acusations. In modern world girls are always protected by law, so one false claim and they wil allways side with the girl, eventhough there is enough evidence proving her wrong.
Other reason why I believe men dont want to "chase" or approach girls anymore is thanks to those bullshit high standards. Men must be a milionair, have his own sucessfull company and pay everything for the girl, when the girl herself is jobless, has an OnlyFans to be a whore online and doesn't contribute to anything but herself.
Why would we want to to? In today's social climate and the fact we are still expected to fulfill traditional husband rolls while women have completely abandoned traditional wife roles, just what are the benefits?
Companionship? we have learned we can fulfill that need either online or in our friend groups. We no longer seek relationships and just casually date where available. No need to chase anymore. It isn't us wanting these commitments or needing them any longer.
When womankind collectively start believing that they'd rather encounter a wild bear than a random man, it is probably a warning that women just aren't worth the trouble any more. Who wants to try and make friendly with someone who regards you as a complete monster by default?
Well that is a woman on a man account. It has nothing to do with ego why men don't approach women anymore as men have stated countless times. It is the fact that modern women simply are not worth it anymore. You aren't worth it financially, mentally, physically, or emotionally. Most men want feminine women as such most men do not approach non feminine women.
Why would I want to? I don't have an ego (they are pointless to me), but if a woman is not head over heels in love with me, I'm not interested in her for anything other than friendship, so I'd have no reason to ask her out until I had that confirmation.
I'm a huge fan of the friends ---> best friends ---> boyfriend and girlfriend ---> fiances ---> marriage ---> sex approach.
The asking out strangers and going on dates method is just trash.
Back in the day I used to, but nowadays I have better stuff to do. Guys have no idea how much time they are wasting chasing women. When you stop, only then do you realize.
You answered your own question. The harassment argument. I can take rejection, I can't take being looked at like I'm a creep.
Not worth all of the risks. Not worth the effort. Happiness can be found in many ways, love isn't the only way to find happiness. There are far more ways to find happiness without risking everything for it.
They're just not worth it anymore. Most of them bring nothing to the table. They are time sinks and money pits and they don't make your life better or less stressful.
there is no thrill in the chase contrary to popular belief. Guys don't like hard to get. Guys like to know right off the bat if the woman is as interested in him as he is into her
Why don’t I chase them? I never was a particularly fast runner, and at my age I can no longer afford to throw away a lot of energy on being annoying; I’ll leave that to the itching powder.
Squids. The liberal pussification of the American male. A male pursuing a female could constitute sexual harassment now.
Because girls have a tendency to call guys like that, stalkers and rapists. You've made you bed now lie in it!
If she's not putting in a similar amount of effort then I withdraw. I'm not an idiot, I know a woman will move heaven and Earth if she really likes you.
Girls are lying when they say want guys to chase them. If she doesn’t reciprocate the same effort you put in, she’s just using you for attention. In that case, withdraw your attention completely.
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