I know the harassment argument, but as long as you are polite, you can try to get a date even if you are rejected the first time. I think we have to put our egos aside and be vulnerable. The problem is that we don't want to seem desperate.
Men are basically sick of being told to bugger off when they approached women, often with the women using unflattering language, or if it isn't the person they approached its of the other women with them, That is what men have come to expect every time they approach a woman, and if you don't believe me the next time you are out of an evening just sit and watch how women react to a man who approaches them. In the past when women rejected a man's approach it was done politely, but today it seems that the want to reject men's approaches with as much venom as possible. And post #METOO men have learned that the slightest wrong look or word can get them labelled a "creep" at the mildest going on up to false accusations of sexual assault, etc. Men have bone a risk/benefit analysis and decided that its not worth the time or money trying to date anymore.
Maybe in this age of"Equality" its time for the women to step up and start taking the risk approaching men they want to date? But we know they won't do that because they don't want to face the risk of rejection, no matter how self assured they think they are.
Why do you want to approach us in the first place? Why not simply leave us alone?
We are all very well aware what your ultimate intentions are and we are fed up to always tell you no in a polite way. I would have guessed that by now, you guys would have finally understood that we are not interested.
Add that and decuple it (ten times more) if you're a black man.
@SueShe Because we want to have a partner. Nothing more natural than that. And because some girls say they want to be chased by a guy, desired and appreciated, not seen as just an option.
Girls see us boys as options also.
Think we men ( a lot of us, anyway) don't desire a partner?
@handsomelad70 In my experience at least 70% of men want to be single. Maybe much more.
@Juxtapose The whole world is. Most 3rd world countries have a birth rate well below the replacement rate of 2.1 births per woman. Within the next few thousand years our species will become completely extinct.
@Juxtapose Human extinction is a good thing if it ends people being trapped in abusive relationships.
@Juxtapose I can't stand the thought of being trapped in an abusive relationship and the only way to escape is death.
@Juxtapose I've known many people who have gotten trapped in abusive relationships. Their abusive partner either owns all or part of the home they live in, or pays all or half of they household bills, so they can't afford to buy or rent their own place so they are trapped with the abusive partner for life.
@RossyBoi that's entirely their fault. You never become so dependent on someone that you don't have a backup plan in case they betray you.. that is just negligent and asking for trouble.
You are responsible for your own well-being and that includes defending yourself against manipulative people.
@Juxtapose The only way to stay safe is to never get a partner in the first place.
@Juxtapose Then you're lucky. I've known people who have been murdered by their partner. People who've had their eyes gouged out. People who've lost their children. People who've had false allegations made against them and thrown in prison. People have lost their homes, their money, their pets... People have lost everything to abusive evil partners. It's not worth it.
@Juxtapose No. This is just what I've heard from people who date. I'm glad I'm single, and I don't have to worry about being stalked or murdered by an ex partner.
@Juxtapose I've never dated anyone and I'm glad. People have terrible relationships. Single people are absolutely fine.
@Juxtapose I've been asked out many times. Said no every time.
@Juxtapose I have no interest in dating or competing with other people. Friendship is all I need.
@Juxtapose I have absolutely zero desire to mate. The whole concept repulses me.
@Juxtapose I could just as well ask you to explain why not?
@Juxtapose In my experience most people are like me and have no interest in dating whatsoever. People don't want to mate they just want to be left alone.
The idea of someone putting their genitals inside someone else's genitals repulses me. I don't like babies either.
@RossyBoi your position is definitely in the minority and I feel like you are putting yourself in an echo chamber. Most people absolutely love the idea of getting all up in a hot person's genitalia.
I love the smell, the taste, everything about sex. It's so satisfying and fun!
Babies are a bummer though.
@Juxtapose Why would you be interested in sex but not in babies? Surely they are part of the same thing?
@Juxtapose Putting your dick in a plastic sleeve is disgusting. I would never, ever do it.
@Juxtapose Nicole should have killed O. J., I think.
@Juxtapose Oh, boy.
@Juxtapose Why would a virgin need to get tested for STDs?
I’m polite. I just get a lot of mean answers with the attached “no.” In my world, being polite doesn’t seem to work, but I’m not really into trying to be a bad boy. So I will continue to be fair and polite, and probably getting ignored.
I’m willing to improve (in general), but I’m not going to completely change who I am for someone, and I’m not begging a girl to spend time with me if she doesn’t want to. I don’t grovel. And I don’t chase much. I’ll make an effort, but if I feel unwanted, I’m out.
I’m basically over “it.” If she’s not going to give me anything to work with, if she’s not willing to even meet me halfway on some things, then I’m done pretty quickly.
I tell people the same thing (with my job). Im pretty upfront. I don’t want to work with a client who doesn’t really want to work with me.
The tougher you want to be, and the more you’re pretty clear you don’t want to work with me, or you hire me but you’ve decided you’re not going to like me, it’s going to be a rougher time. If you’re up for being a little bit open, and working with me, it’s a lot easier to have a positive experience. Otherwise, I’m not chasing you down to be my client. Or friend. Or girlfriend. There’s a lot of things I’d rather be doing with my time.
Now that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to put in a good amount of effort for people who have shown they can put in a tiny amount of effort, too. But the second I feel like I’m being too desperate, I’m pulling back.
By all means, I’ll follow up… but I quickly put the ball in her court. If she doesn’t return it, I’m not running to grab that ball and then hit it to her again and again just for the “exercise.”
Only narcissistic attention whores want to be chased. Look up the difference between chased, counted and pursued.
*courted
By chased I meant courted
@_Lynx chased is objective based. One goal. I. e. chasing a 3oman connotes a sexual focus. Once caught there is no other purpose. Pursue is like a goal where you want to achieve something so it can be a part of you in a way. Court is to show the woman that you are worthy and have genuine interest in conributing to her well being.
There's your issue. You think chasing and courting are one in the same. They are absolutely different.
Language is not out of my depth.
The question is asked in general terms.
Its not a philosophical debate.
you're giving it depth by nit picking a single word.
As for the 2nd part of your comment: maybe guys would do that if women gave them a reason to.
Women, in the past few years, however, chose to abuse the justice system. False accusations have become very popular.
Opinion
31Opinion
u I never chased girls. I expressed my interest and asked for a date. I figured she would either say “Yes” or pull out a gun and shoot me. I was never wounded in combat!
You're an American, OAW. You can get shot for reasons other than an angry broad shooting you because she didn't want to date you, boyo !!!
Hmm, interesting question.
1st: Maybe because online media and communication. They seem to think it is easier, so try behind the screen for less embarressment or akwardness.. etc.
As well it is easier to comment on a story or topic (post) than just to come up with a topic out of nowhere in a street approach.
Although mastering eye contact is certainly a game changer and proper technique in my opinion.
2nd: The waste of time is unnecessary chasing girls. I agree to what others mention here. I'd really appreciate a straight rejection or 'I'll consider it' until I get the clear answer.
No flaking.. please! I understand being polite and diplomatic.. but everything has its limits. It was always possible to get a rejection anyway 🤷♂️.
3rd: Feminism obviously. I say this as first-hand experience. I really don't want to approach some girl that think she is better or more capable than me.
I don't mind she actually being and knowing she is. Just don't show it generally as a person (regardless of gender). But also as if the whole female gender is better and full of good-doings while men are fully evil.
In short, believing those silly deciets and taking genders as opposites not complementaries is a definite suppressor.
Forgot to add,
4th: Spoiled girls. Here where I live. To think to marry is to have someone throw money at your makeup, dress, and appearance or ego.
Childish and immature indeed. Sure dress up, but that shouldn't be your ultimate goal and probably sole role too. 😒
Hah, like in the movies.
It depends on what that girl has gone through. I asked this most beautiful thing that I had got to know over a couple years. She ran the beer and wine side of her stepdads liquor store. Some days she was bubbly and snappy and other times gloomy and not talkative. I figured the time of the month. Well I finally had become well enough known to her and spit it out. She frowned and said she had a boyfriend. He was a big ol boy. She was perfectly petite at 5' even maybe 105lbs. He looked 6.5 feet tall and about 265-280. Well I asked her again about 3 weeks later and she smiled and said, so sweet sounding," I still have that same boyfriend ". You see I believed pursuit could work to, like the movies. I continued to lightly and respectfully flirted with her. She became less talkative. So one evening I pulled through the drive through not wanting to have to confront her. The two girls gave me the skinny when I asked what her problem was. Seems she had been stalked by a serious one. He scared her so that she obtained a concealed carry permit. He went to jail. And I never went back to that store. Not for 15 years at which time she owned the store. She probably married that ugly big dude. oh, a couple coworkers overheard her talking about how he's to short and works construction. They said I had just pulled through the drive through and was referring to me. So shit.🥶
In the jungle, the mighty, mighty jungle, a single complaint by a woman can land a man in jail, on the registry and possibly in prison. There are dozens of somewhat high profile cases you can find online. Which suggests that there are potentially thousands or tens of thousands more that we don’t know about. It doesn’t matter if it’s not every woman every time. It has happened before, and it will happen again. It only takes one to completely destroy your life. It’s only prudent to protect yourself.
You can't end up in jail if you don't touch a woman, if you are being decent. Asking them for a second date isn't assault. If she is not a random woman and she is in your social circle, she couldn't get you into court out of nowhere only because you show interest in a decent manner. Some female friends from childhood told me that they weren't initially attracted to their current boyfriends, but they insisted. They liked being chased and see that a guy doesn't give up. And they are cool guys and respected their boundaries
You don’t understand the world you are living in. Look up false allegations. You’ll find dozens of real examples of women putting men in jail for next to nothing. I had a coworker who went to prison for marital rape because his wife came on to him while she was on ambien. He didn’t even know she had a prescription for the drug.
Short of neutral video evidence that exonerates you, there’s not much you can do to protect yourself once the allegation is made. It’s your word versus hers, and these days, they’re taking hers.
Protect yourself or don’t. I don’t care if you end up in prison. I’m not going to visit you. Ell oh ell!
The problem for many guys is that guys start dating from different levels as different guys have different kind baselines in what they have to offer in terms of looks and abilities.
For some guys getting a woman isn´t very hard since they are attractive and charismatic, they are good at a getting to know a person and open up.
For many guys dating is hard because they are neither good looking nor charismatic. Looks matter not only for guys when they consider a woman but vice versa.
So for many guys dating seems worthless because it´s an effort they have to put in with the possible chance of staying single. The reason guys don´t chase girls is that they would have to make an effort that doesn´t gurantee success. Either you´re willing to take the risk or you don´t.
Most men don't want to aproach girls anymore due to the harrassment they recieve from girls. The girl only has to label him as a creep and his reputation is destroyed thanks to social opinions and #MeToo. In the past girls were polite about rejecting someone, nowadays the only way to reject someone is by being harsh and tell everyone how bad of a person that guy is just to make you feel good about yourself. The same with all those false rape acusations. In modern world girls are always protected by law, so one false claim and they wil allways side with the girl, eventhough there is enough evidence proving her wrong.
Other reason why I believe men dont want to "chase" or approach girls anymore is thanks to those bullshit high standards. Men must be a milionair, have his own sucessfull company and pay everything for the girl, when the girl herself is jobless, has an OnlyFans to be a whore online and doesn't contribute to anything but herself.
But in all honesty as well. Why should men even bother aproaching a girl? Most of the time its just waisting time and energy on someone who is not worth it. I don't bother even trying because I know most girls aren't worth my time simply because they are not interested in me or are below my standards. You don't need to chase or beg someone to be with you when they don't want to. Its stupid and I never understand why people do that, or it might be just a dumb lie some girls put up to feel good about themselves. Which I have heard sometimes as well about girls claiming they have a lot of men hit them up on the streets or chase her romantically, just to find out no one bothers hitting her up or "chase" her and she only lie about it just to make her ego bigger.
When womankind collectively start believing that they'd rather encounter a wild bear than a random man, it is probably a warning that women just aren't worth the trouble any more. Who wants to try and make friendly with someone who regards you as a complete monster by default?
Why would we want to to? In today's social climate and the fact we are still expected to fulfill traditional husband rolls while women have completely abandoned traditional wife roles, just what are the benefits?
Companionship? we have learned we can fulfill that need either online or in our friend groups. We no longer seek relationships and just casually date where available. No need to chase anymore. It isn't us wanting these commitments or needing them any longer.
Why would I want to? I don't have an ego (they are pointless to me), but if a woman is not head over heels in love with me, I'm not interested in her for anything other than friendship, so I'd have no reason to ask her out until I had that confirmation.
I'm a huge fan of the friends ---> best friends ---> boyfriend and girlfriend ---> fiances ---> marriage ---> sex approach.
The asking out strangers and going on dates method is just trash.
Not necessarily trash, but it's so inefficient
Well that is a woman on a man account. It has nothing to do with ego why men don't approach women anymore as men have stated countless times. It is the fact that modern women simply are not worth it anymore. You aren't worth it financially, mentally, physically, or emotionally. Most men want feminine women as such most men do not approach non feminine women.
You answered your own question. The harassment argument. I can take rejection, I can't take being looked at like I'm a creep.
I mean playing the long game and insisting until she says a clear no. Not giving up after she said no to a date because she is busy
Back in the day I used to, but nowadays I have better stuff to do. Guys have no idea how much time they are wasting chasing women. When you stop, only then do you realize.
There are definitely so many better things to do. But what if you want to have a long-time partner. If you never chase, you end up in short term sexual relationships with women who are into you from the start. It takes some balls to keep going after being rejected the first time. Actually, if you're not super attractive, most good women will say no first. Most stories I heard from women about their lifetime partner were like: I wasn't into him, but he convinced me that he's worthy
I just saw this comment in a discussion. They wrote 'You have to work 10 times harder than your grandfather to get a woman who is 1/10 as good as your grandmother. It's not worth it anymore.'
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Not worth all of the risks. Not worth the effort. Happiness can be found in many ways, love isn't the only way to find happiness. There are far more ways to find happiness without risking everything for it.
They're just not worth it anymore. Most of them bring nothing to the table. They are time sinks and money pits and they don't make your life better or less stressful.
there is no thrill in the chase contrary to popular belief. Guys don't like hard to get. Guys like to know right off the bat if the woman is as interested in him as he is into her
Why don’t I chase them? I never was a particularly fast runner, and at my age I can no longer afford to throw away a lot of energy on being annoying; I’ll leave that to the itching powder.
Squids. The liberal pussification of the American male. A male pursuing a female could constitute sexual harassment now.
Because girls have a tendency to call guys like that, stalkers and rapists. You've made you bed now lie in it!
If she's not putting in a similar amount of effort then I withdraw. I'm not an idiot, I know a woman will move heaven and Earth if she really likes you.
Girls are lying when they say want guys to chase them. If she doesn’t reciprocate the same effort you put in, she’s just using you for attention. In that case, withdraw your attention completely.
If i am rejected i won't bother her any further. If she changes her mind she can approach me.
They are constantly being labeled creeps just for trying to ask a girl out. Also, good luck prying their attention away from their phones!
Because i always get told no.
Why waste my time if im not wanted
I'm 70 and had a stroke three years ago. How could I catch a chick?
@Juxtapose I know, especially us handsome Bradys. ( Black Golden Boys.)
Maybe we have better things to do than bothering women who are not interested?
I would never chat up or woman or ask her for a date.
Because the risk has increased too much and the reward has decreased too much.
Emmett Till would disagree.
Because of toxic feminism!
No good outcome comes from chasing girls.
And why do we have to be the ones to chase?
Because most girls don't approach you. Would you like to be forever alone?
It takes two tango tho. If it's an issue for me to be "alone" forever, then they should also make that their problem
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