Would you ever wonder what it's like to switch places with someone you rejected or found unnatractive?

[Anonymous]

._. Okay, so this sounds like a ridiculous question, and I bet most people would be like, "Of course not I never want to be them or that person" but really think for a minute though, that person never wanted to be "that rejected person" either, I'm not here to tell people it's wrong to reject people they find unnatractive. But I think it is helpful to besure to understand it from their perspective at least a little bit. Like say if you were that person would you have honestly felt like you were rejected for things you would agree with? Or were you really just rejected for things that weren't really fair to reject someone for?

[ZamerZ]

I always put myself in the other's shoes, mainly bc they were mostly nice people. But the general reason of rejection was just that I didn't have feelings for the majority. So far, only my ex-bf got rejected by me for a multitude of reasons and empathizing too much with him was actually the breaking point. I would never pull the shit he did, I'd never even come close to that.

[DishLady]

No. I try to empathize as much as possible with anyone I interact with in that scenario to help ensure that I’m not hurting their feelings.

[boggboss]

Sorry what are unfair things to be rejected for?

[Asker]

Personally i believe they are mostly things that a person can't change about themselves, (skin color, bone size, blood type, eye color, height, blood relatives and family history).

[boggboss]

OK but thats also outside of what people can control when it comes to being attracted to you think people should force themself to find someone attractive because it's not fair?

[Asker]

No, no one should force themselves to be attracted to someone. that's not right lol.

What I'm saying is people should think about the reason they are rejecting someone, and if those reasons are understandable and fair to the person they are rejecting before they reject them

[boggboss]

But why cos even if those reasons are not fair it wouldn't chamge the fact they they still don't want to be with said person or give it a go

[Asker]

True i agree with you once a rejection happens it won't change anything, but this post, its about thinking about whether the reason for rejection was necessary or was really for the right reasons, like say this woman named jane was turned off by the look of johns eye color and height but John was genuinely more pleasant to be with than most guys jane met, but since Jane rejected John because of his eye color and height before even getting to know John more, Jane has missed out on the chance to have gotten to know John more beyond surface level and appearance. So she wouldn't have even gotten the chance to know John could've been a dream partner to be with.

[boggboss]

But no because John was not attractive to her in the way her dream partner would be he might have the best personality but then u have a good friendship not relationship