Can men be affectionate? How do women get affectionate loving men? How do you meet romantic loving men?

[Anonymous]

It feels like every other I mean gets a beautiful relationship with men who treat them beautifully with so much love and kindness. I used to think men were just not loving people outside my family members. It’s like guys just didn’t show affection towards women or have any romantic loving bone in their bodies till I realized it was only me who wasn’t getting that treatment. I can barely get a date much less a kind one. I think I bring a lot to the table and above all I am incredibly loving. I want to give someone that love but I can't find anyone to do that with. Where is everyone else finding these kind good men?

[DishLady]

I'll tell you, it's not easy for some guys to drop their guard long enough to be affectionate, esp as they get older and have probably been hurt in relationships before.

Women don't always "get" affectionate, loving men. They have to suss out whether the man they're interested is capable of being sweet, open and affectionate with them because some guys are "cranky af" -- not toxic, not violent, not abusive, but just "strong and silent type" or generally gruff around women because they've been hurt before.

SOME guys (who are either not as experienced or who allow themselves to "carry their heart on their sleeve" as we used to call it) openly express their feelings of tenderness and affection regularly because they somehow are able to retain a childlike heard and understand that not all women are out to get them... In 2024 this is not very common to find even in guys 18-21 for some reason, who should still be able to feel optimistic towards love and the world in general. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

You meet romantic, loving guys through trial and error by attending events and going to places that would help cultivate a skill or quality you admire in a man. You're typically not meeting your man at the happy hour of some bar/hotel. You'd perhaps meet him while volunteering at a shelter or some other activity that shows he cares about others...

[Anonymous]

You choose them. Unfortunately for them women are typically attracted to the other form of men.😆

Worst of all the men that are romantic have it bred out of them by them choosing the wrong women. They get taunted and called weak by women repeatedly for showing thier romantic side to women that don't deserve it until they stop doing it altogether.

It's all pretty funny when you think about it. Everyone supposedly wants love, but shun it when it's offered freely. But then beg for it from someone who has no intention of ever giving it.😆

[Asker]

I’m not shunning love from anyone though, no one’s offering it at all.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, look at the second part of that I typed right after that. "But then beg for it from..."

[Asker]

I’m not sure I understand you wouldn’t your point only apply if I was rejecting one person and chasing another. I wish to be loved but i’m not chasing anyone for it or rejecting anyone

[Opinion Owner]

You never ever rejected a guy?

[Asker]

I’ve rejected a few but they’re weren’t especially kind or good people. That isn’t people offering love it’s people interested in your outer appearance and an idea of what they think you are.

[Opinion Owner]

So you know this based on what? Because you can't even CHOOSE a partner that will show you romance. So how good is your selection process really? It's like saying "I know what I'm doing" only to keep failing. See what I'm saying.

[Asker]

If you need a run down of the men I’ve rejected:
1. high school drop out
2. mean to women even though was kind to me that is a character flaw because I like men who are respectful across the board
3. make too many racial comments that made me uncomfortable. I’m Asian, men who make too many racially motivated remarks while not being Asian as well makes me feel disrespected. Not someone I’d want to bring home to my family.
4. no plans to go into higher education or interests in learning at all. I’m in college right now and if a man isn’t going to go to school he has to have a profession or passion he’s working in.
5. several mental health issues which i’m simply not willing to work with. I can’t date someone suicidal I wouldn’t be a good partner or able to support him consider he lives with such a debilitating disease.

Maybe next time i’ll just date the next bum who asks me out and get beat up and abused but again if I did that you’d still blame me for picking the wrong guy.

I’m not insanely picky I reject men I could not be in a relationship not for fun. That being said I have gone out with men before it’s not like i reject everyone. This just don’t always work out and I’ve found a very limited amount of the dates I’ve gone on were with loving men. I wish there were more but the solution definitely isn’t lower my standards because my stares are reasonable for my life style if they were any lower I would likely end up in a toxic partnership not one where im being treated so well by some guy I overlooked. For some reason men assume just because a guy asks you out he’s a great guy, some guys aren’t that great, some aren’t quipped for a relationship, women aren’t in the wrong for saying no.

[Opinion Owner]

You're right. Everyone's against you. and clearly you're not passing on any good men.🙄 Have a nice day.🙂 and good luck.👍

[Asker]

Not saying everyone against me or that you're completely wrong but I'm saying in my case if there are some secret admirrers I just don't know about tell me because its not like I have a line of suitors I can see. Have a good day.