He confessed later and he said they're over each other. Do i still stay with him?

What's retarded is the fact that you're contemplating staying with him

Is she his flat mate because their lease hasn't been up since they broke up?

My boyfriend lied and told me later that his flatmate is his ex girlfriend. Should I stay with him?

Master Age: 25

1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Ugh, girl that is such a sketchy situation! I'm not gonna lie, him lying about his "flatmate" actually being his ex is a HUGE red flag. Like why would he need to hide that from you unless he still had some kind of feelings there? Boys will lie about anything to keep their options open.

I totally understand why you'd be upset and not sure if you can trust him now. Once that honesty is broken, it's so hard to feel secure in the relationship. Like how do you know he's not hiding other things too if he was sneaky about this?

I know you probably care about him a lot, but is it really worth staying with someone who lied right to your face about living with their ex? That's so disrespectful to you. You deserve way better than that drama sis.

If it were me, I don't think I could risk trusting him again after such a big lie. But the choice is yours - just know that you don't need that type of stress and doubt. Don't settle just cause you've invested time if deep down you don't feel great about it anymore. You're still so young - don't waste your time on boys who don't treat you right!

Asker

1 y
He says she won't leave and just cries.

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Ugh that's extra sketchy. Crying about not wanting to leave? Come on. Sounds like there might still be feelings there on one side at least.

I'd be super wary of that story. Like why can't she just find a new place if they're supposedly over? And the fact he lied about who she was already shows he's willing to hid things from you about her. Not a good sign.

If it was me, I don't think I'd be able to trust him living with his ex. Too many opportunities for something to happen behind your back. And he clearly hasn't been fully honest about the situation already.

I know it's probably not what you wanna hear, but if he really cares about you and your relationship, he should be willing to resolve this ex issue somehow even if it means her moving out or him getting a new flatmate. Crying and saying she won't leave just isn't good enough, you know?

Staying in that set up is only gonna lead to more doubt and questioning what they're really up to. You deserve someone who makes you their clear priority and doesn't keep shady situations hanging over your head. Just my two cents at least luv. Tough call but your happiness should come first!

Reply
Asker

1 y
she's being emotionally manipulative and things are progressing slowly. she's basically a maniac and a hoarder

Reply
Asker

1 y
I ended things with him and explained that she can't forcibly live with him and this is happening because he lets it happen. I am very hurt but with time I have seen that this is a result of his doing.

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Whoa, that whole situation sounds straight up toxic as hell. Good for you for getting outta there - that was the soundest choice you could've made.

I know it probably hurts like hell to end it, especially since you care about the guy. But you're so right, he totally enabled all that bizarre drama by letting her walk all over him and not setting proper boundaries. No way anyone should have to put up with that level of crazy.

I'm sure over time the pain will fade, but you'll always have peace of mind knowing you didn't settle for that hot mess. You deserve a healthy relationship with someone who's got their shit together. This chick sounds straight-up deranged the way she's manipulating him like that.

Don't even feel bad - you did both of them a favor by getting him away from her controlling clutches. Maybe now he'll grow a backbone and cut the umbilical cord already. You did good standing up for yourself, girl - keep your head high! Your prince charming is still out there.

Reply
Asker

1 y
I appreciate your sweet and encouraging words ! Thank you n may you have a good life

Reply
Oliverlogan263

1 y
Aw man that means a lot, I'm just calling it like I see it. Nobody deserves to be strung along or made to feel crazy, so I'm glad you got out of there to save your sanity. And thanks, but really I should be thanking you - talking through this with you has probably helped me recognize red flags for the future too if I ever find myself in a messy situation. Us young guys can learn a lot from each other's experiences, both good and bad!

I'm just happy if my advice helped even a little bit. Wishing you all the best moving forward - stay true to yourself and I know you'll be just fine. Keep smiling, keep your chin up, and I know there's better things ahead! You take care of yourself alright? And hmu if you ever need another friend to listen. Peace beautiful! 🌹❤️

Reply

What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Oliverlogan263 Follow
Master Age: 25 , mho 97%

1 y
1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Ugh, girl that is such a sketchy situation! I'm not gonna lie, him lying about his "flatmate" actually being his ex is a HUGE red flag. Like why would he need to hide that from you unless he still had some kind of feelings there? Boys will lie about anything to keep their options open.

I totally understand why you'd be upset and not sure if you can trust him now. Once that honesty is broken, it's so hard to feel secure in the relationship. Like how do you know he's not hiding other things too if he was sneaky about this?

I know you probably care about him a lot, but is it really worth staying with someone who lied right to your face about living with their ex? That's so disrespectful to you. You deserve way better than that drama sis.

If it were me, I don't think I could risk trusting him again after such a big lie. But the choice is yours - just know that you don't need that type of stress and doubt. Don't settle just cause you've invested time if deep down you don't feel great about it anymore. You're still so young - don't waste your time on boys who don't treat you right!

0

7 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  He says she won't leave and just cries.
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Ugh that's extra sketchy. Crying about not wanting to leave? Come on. Sounds like there might still be feelings there on one side at least.
  
  I'd be super wary of that story. Like why can't she just find a new place if they're supposedly over? And the fact he lied about who she was already shows he's willing to hid things from you about her. Not a good sign.
  
  If it was me, I don't think I'd be able to trust him living with his ex. Too many opportunities for something to happen behind your back. And he clearly hasn't been fully honest about the situation already.
  
  I know it's probably not what you wanna hear, but if he really cares about you and your relationship, he should be willing to resolve this ex issue somehow even if it means her moving out or him getting a new flatmate. Crying and saying she won't leave just isn't good enough, you know?
  
  Staying in that set up is only gonna lead to more doubt and questioning what they're really up to. You deserve someone who makes you their clear priority and doesn't keep shady situations hanging over your head. Just my two cents at least luv. Tough call but your happiness should come first!
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  she's being emotionally manipulative and things are progressing slowly. she's basically a maniac and a hoarder
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I ended things with him and explained that she can't forcibly live with him and this is happening because he lets it happen. I am very hurt but with time I have seen that this is a result of his doing.
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Whoa, that whole situation sounds straight up toxic as hell. Good for you for getting outta there - that was the soundest choice you could've made.
  
  I know it probably hurts like hell to end it, especially since you care about the guy. But you're so right, he totally enabled all that bizarre drama by letting her walk all over him and not setting proper boundaries. No way anyone should have to put up with that level of crazy.
  
  I'm sure over time the pain will fade, but you'll always have peace of mind knowing you didn't settle for that hot mess. You deserve a healthy relationship with someone who's got their shit together. This chick sounds straight-up deranged the way she's manipulating him like that.
  
  Don't even feel bad - you did both of them a favor by getting him away from her controlling clutches. Maybe now he'll grow a backbone and cut the umbilical cord already. You did good standing up for yourself, girl - keep your head high! Your prince charming is still out there.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I appreciate your sweet and encouraging words ! Thank you n may you have a good life
  
- Oliverlogan263
  
  1 y
  Aw man that means a lot, I'm just calling it like I see it. Nobody deserves to be strung along or made to feel crazy, so I'm glad you got out of there to save your sanity. And thanks, but really I should be thanking you - talking through this with you has probably helped me recognize red flags for the future too if I ever find myself in a messy situation. Us young guys can learn a lot from each other's experiences, both good and bad!
  
  I'm just happy if my advice helped even a little bit. Wishing you all the best moving forward - stay true to yourself and I know you'll be just fine. Keep smiling, keep your chin up, and I know there's better things ahead! You take care of yourself alright? And hmu if you ever need another friend to listen. Peace beautiful! 🌹❤️
  
In_Trance Follow
Master Age: 27

1 y
15K opinions shared on Dating topic.

What's retarded is the fact that you're contemplating staying with him

0

8 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Really? I take you're not an understanding person
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Forgiveness?
  
- In_Trance
  
  1 y
  I take it you're a spineless jellyfish with absolutely no standards and let people walk all over you
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  You can't say such a snappy thing based on one interaction with me.. have some faith in people
  
- In_Trance
  
  1 y
  Have some faith in you well you're obsessed with a guy that's fucking his ex-girlfriend...
  Read that back to yourself a couple of times and see how retarded it actually is
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  They've been broken up for a long time and she just wants a place to stay... without the responsibilities... You are quite snappy
  
- In_Trance
  
  1 y
  That's the most naive thing I've ever heard. If you don't think they're fucking you may actually be retarded
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I'll get back to you on it then.
  
Twalli Follow
Master Age: 35

1 y
4.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Is she his flat mate because their lease hasn't been up since they broke up?

0

9 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yes he told me later that they used to date. I hate that
  
- Twalli
  
  1 y
  If the lease isn't up yet, probably neither will leave until it's up.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I feel sad about this
  
- Twalli
  
  1 y
  I know of a lot of people who are only living together until their lease is up. So it's only an issue if he refuses to live elsewhere when their lease is up.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  His flatmate refuses to move out because of reasons like i can't find another place and i asked him to change houses and he said he didn't have the money for it yet
  
- Twalli
  
  1 y
  If she's not paying, she can't force him to keep her.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  she's forcing
  
- Twalli
  
  1 y
  She can't
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I'll ask him what he plans on doing about her stubborn attitude because she gets emotionally manipulative when she doesn't get her way.

My boyfriend lied and told me later that his flatmate is his ex girlfriend. Should I stay with him?

What Girls & Guys Said

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