Is it weird to apologize for ghosting after about 6-8 months?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy of no since middle school who transferred to a different high school and we now follow each other, and both are almost 30. Sometime last year we started texting and expressed interest in each other, and getting to know one another as adults.

At the same time, I was dealing with a man before him who had me very confused and left me in the dark about a lot of things, but I knew my heart was with him. Because of this, I messed up and did not give the other chance, and never replied back to him, but we remained followers of one another. I never lost interest in him, but he wasn’t my main priority. I hate that I did that because I absolutely hate ghosters and don’t believe in ghosting people.

After a lot of time of being with myself and contemplating apologizing to him, I think that I am ready to. Though I’m still interested in him, I would understand if he has moved on. I just feel I still owe him that apology

[ColHathi]

I would say unusual maybe, but I'd appreciate it. Be sure to actually say that you're sorry though ^^ The reason I say that is because there once was a girl that I thought was interesting, and that I felt like I got along with decently well. I wanted to try to become friends. She didn't seem interested, and it felt to me like she'd turned me down because she probably assumed I wanted more (and I can definitely see how I might've come across that way sadly). So because she didn't seem interested, I stopped trying. Then a few months later she wrote a text, I can't remember if she asked me how exams had gone or if she just wrote that she hoped that they'd gone well, but I wrote something similar back to her and left it at that. I couldn't tell if she wrote out of courtesy, or a feeling of guilt/pity, or if she had suddenly become interested in being friends or more, but at this point I was hurt and didn't care. She didn't write again.

Point is, I don't know if maybe she wanted to apologize. That seems unlikely, but in the off-chance that that is what she was trying, don't make the same mistake and please just say what you're writing about. Don't beat around the bush ^^

[Asker]

I’m sorry to hear you went through that. I have been there too. Yes I was going to lead with the apology. I plan to first say that I’m sorry for leaving him on read basically saying everything I said here, to him in short

[ColHathi]

It's alright, but thank you ^^

I think that sounds good. Here's hoping it works out well 🤗 If you decide to write him, that is

[Asker]

Thank you! Whatever happens, at least I’ve learned

[Zack-Bann]

“Ghosting” only applies if you actually made promises and reneged on them


If all you did was text the guy and the last conversation ended with “how was your weekend?” to no reply. All is good


You can hit him up again and say “hey, sorry I disappeared for half a year. Things got very hectic for me. But you’re still on my mind so I thought I’d see how you’ve been”


Something like that. Simple and direct

[Asker]

Ooooh you’re good, I like that.
You’re right , I wouldn’t say it’s the same type of ghosting but I disappeared. I’ll probably use your message over mine lol

[Zack-Bann]

Thank you 😊

Sometimes simplicity is the the best approach

[Anonymous]

I'd appreciate an apology from a ghoster... tbh it sucks being ghosted. So he may give u another chance

[Asker]

Yeah and honestly if he doesn’t that’s understandable. I just personally think it’s important to treat people how you want to be treated. It’s a shitty feeling to be ghosted

[Opinion Owner]

I agree
Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks!

[DishLady]

It's unusual, but he also knew to give you space, which tells you he's smart...

[Asker]

I agree. I respect that about him

[Anonymous]

Yes, this behavior is very strange.

[Asker]

What makes you think so?

[Opinion Owner]

Usually when a person exhibits ghosting type of behavior, they never reach out to the person they have ghosted.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s usually but as I stated, I’m not the ghosting type of person normally. Anytime I’ve broke up with someone, I let them know it wasn’t gonna work out

[Opinion Owner]

If you feel the need to apologize, go right ahead and do so. However, you must prepare yourself for him possibly never speaking to you again.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m prepared to be left on read in return😭
Valid response. We live and we learn. Next time I’m getting to know someone and the time isn’t right I’ll just tell them

[Opinion Owner]

That sounds like a good idea.

[In_Trance]

yes. Don't bother