Should I apologize for ghosting someone?

[Anonymous]

a few weeks ago I received a message from a guy I was seeing saying that he misses me. I only liked him as a friend and I didn‘t know what to reply but eventually I forgot to text him back. I feel sooo bad about it but now time has passed and I don‘t know what to do or say, should I text him and apologize or just leave it at that? I don‘t have feelings for him or miss him or anything, I just feel so bad about just ghosting him though, I know it was not very nice or good. what would you do?

[ShiftingMonke]

I'm glad you feel bad for ghosting, but if you feel nothing for him, it's best to just leave it be. Reaching out to apologize could potentially give him hope that he got a chance, or receive a spiteful response. All you can do is be more mindful in the future.

[Asker]

okay thank you, it‘s probably best because I don‘t want to date him or something. do you think he would be mad at me if he sees me? I know him from uni, we were in the same class but we only met with each other 2 times and he didn‘t text me that much either and nothing happened between us.

[ShiftingMonke]

He might not be happy, but I doubt he would walk right up to you and ask for an explanation. Men get ghosted a lot- as in sure women do too- so it's either something he is used to, or it's going to quickly get overwritten by another woman. I meant no offense about being happy you felt guilt by the way; I meant I'm glad you acknowledge the pain it causes. But anyway. If nothing romantic happened, and you have no desires towards him, I wouldn't seek him out either online or in real life simply to apologize. But if he does approach, I would apologize to him explaining that the ghosting was incidental and you meant no offense. Hopefully in that scenario, he's rational and understanding.

[Asker]

thank you so much, you really helped me. I guess it would not make sense to only reach out to apologize, especially because I think it may seem like I am interested in dating him now, which I‘m not. by apologizing maybe I would make this bigger than it is. I learned my lesson though and won‘t do that again

[ShiftingMonke]

I'm happy to be of service! And don't sweat it. Accidents happen. All you can do is try.

[FilmGuy93]

Texting him to appologize would be good. At the very least you won't leave pointless, unresolved tension in the air if you ever see him again.

[Amy10223]

Yes, I would text him back, and apologize for not writing sooner. If it's only been a few weeks, it's ok. If it was several months or a year then I'd say forget it. But it would benefit you both--ghosting is not fun for anyone--even for the one who ghosted.

[TheVigilantFox]

Just forget about it.
If you don’t have feelings for him and it’s been a while then it’s in the past and gone.

[SnowedIn]

Yes. Just be simple. "I'm sorry I ghosted you. That wasn't the right thing to do." Go from there.

[Anonymous]

I'd leave it alone. At this point apologizing will probably look like mocking him on top of it.

A woman once ghosted me. Then she messaged me a year later about it. So I ghosted her back. I'll remember, even a year later.

[Guy13]

Yes. You will both sleep better.

[Asker]

even if it was a long time ago? I don‘t want him to be annoyed or something