Would you be offended if someone said, "I don't want to date anybody poor"?

[Anonymous]

What do you think about people who say things like that?

[MrOracle]

This girl worded her comment very poorly, and no surprise that a lot of people were offended. These words are commonly used in an offensive manner.

It's understandable not to want to be poor, but what matters is that the guy (and herself, for that matter) are hard workers and have some ambition to improve their situation. To say "I don't want to date anybody poor" implies that she only sees wealthy men as acceptable, dismissing 90% of men as being beneath her.

And THAT suggests that she doesn't realize that the vast majority of top 10% men would never take her seriously as a relationship partner. Most men who were born wealthy tend to marry women who were also born wealthy - women who were raised the same way and ran in the same circles and who aren't obsessed with money or image.

The kind of man who *might* take her seriously *and* eventually have wealth is the man who started out middle-class at best, but worked hard and made smart decisions and made his own money. But that kind of man isn't going to want any woman who has even a hint of "gold-digger" on her, or who says something that could be taken as being one. That's an instant turn-off for most men, regardless of income.

Again, it's perfectly understandable not to want to live a (financially) poor life, but what she should be looking for is a man with a plan, with ambition, and with drive, and for her to be prepared to build something WITH that man. What a man like that is looking for is a woman who is going to make HIS life easier so that he can build a successful future for the both of them. And that kind of man is going to naturally want to give her a comfortable life. "Comfortable" doesn't necessarily mean luxury shopping or 5-star vacations or private jets or whatever princess fairytale she might have, but it almost certainly means a nice house, a family, plenty of friends, and enough money to have some luxuries and to take some nice vacations and not have to stress about the bills coming every single month. Meaning: a middle-to-upper-middle-class lifestyle.

If she's waiting for a billionaire to come along for her, she's likely going to be waiting a very long time.

[AMS700CX4u2]

I think a person who said that is assuming that anyone like herself would not be able to pull them out of the Quagmire. Many couples did just that in the the mid 1900. Starting with nothing and building successful careers. Art Linkletter, a TV personality during the 50's was a Hobo after the depression. When my father asked my mom the marry him he was broke but working. Her engagement ring was a drilled out dime. which she wore till her death. The diamond ring came after pop retired. So what is the difference between then and now? Fortunately, the manufacturing segment of the country was booming. We Were Making Thunderbirds, to quote a song. Anything made in America was held in high esteem by foreign markets. But all Corporations suffer from one fatal flaw. Stockholders interest are respected more than the Corporation's product. To keep stockholders from divesting, the quality of the goods starts to suffer. or in our case, the only way to keep the profit margin high was to outsource labor. Working America, the individuals who built the multi-billion dollar corporations got hung out to dry. Income taxes, the governments financial source, began to decrease to the point that the infrastructure started to fail. Corporations receiving tax breaks, due to the number of Americans they hired, started hiring outside the country but maintained their tax breaks. I haven't figured that one out yet. So. I think her statement was more of a declaration "I've had enough, I want out" "Bring the opportunity back home". It is easier to take a chance on a relationship when there is some hope, no matter how small, that it will be successful. .

[Apulu_backagain]

Depends on what context they said that. But I really be offended, it's their preference and if they believe they can love a financially stable or sufficient person more than a poor person then it's fine. But they'll end up giving me the impression that they are after my money, cuz I come from a bit well to do family. And also that money is their top priority, a priority above potential and personality.

I know that there are poor people who are the way they are because of laziness or certain addictions but there are poor people who aren't poor by their choice and have great potential, if they're given a hand that can just help them stand, they'll run. It's just that circumstances or luck wasn't by their side.

So yeah, it depends on the context. If the person is saying it referring to the first type of poor, then yes, I agree. No one wants to date a lazy meth addict but if they're saying it in general or also including the second type, then I'll assume they're money over potential type and that they don't have patience for their partner to reach success.

[supercutebutt]

In America, hobos are the new sex symbols now. You can credit Clowny & Musk for that. They get richer as we get poorer. 😔

Can a Hobo be Sexy?

[zombiewoof]

Hobos need sex too

[ohsheeT]

I would say they blew it.. if a guy said that to a girl... he blew it big Time. If two girls were standing side by side one rich one poor. I would date the poor one before I would date the rich one that's the for real

[Asker]

Why would you automatically date the poor one because she's poor. Being rich or poor doesn't make you a great person or partner.

[ohsheeT]

You're right. But a rich girl is used to getting whatever she wants when she wants it. . But a rich girl does not know what it feels like yo to be able to take a shower. Wear clean clothes
She does not know what it means to be hungry. Wash her clothes

Have her power go out.. struggling with rent. If anyone thinks this thing happens, the rich girl is going to freak out

The poor girl has been through all this before , so she's gonna manage by being patient and being happy

MO To be.
Honest I don't look at a girl as if she's rich or poor I can care less what matters to me. Isn't she has a beautiful heart if she is kind if she is wise if she is smart is she confident When I care about the most it's who she is on the inside

[SteveSmith1985]

Not offended. But It wouldn't make me think well of them. It suggests money is the important thing to this person. It may not be the case. But it makes me think she's not looking for much besides money.

[Asker]

My friends and I had this ripe conversation the other day, and as one of my friends pointed out, she grew up poor and has no desire to go back to that life because every single day was a struggle, so for her, dating someone poor would put her in a situation where they can't move forward in life with her partner where she is now because she would most likely have to support him and herself. Most of the guys in the group were offended because they thought the implication was if they heard that statement, it automatically meant gold digger, but once they heard her perspective, it was more of a "well I need to know the motive" kind of thing, which, fair enough.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yep. I need to know the motive. So I had the same reaction those guys had... with no context. With this context/motivation it's a whole other thing. It's basically the result of childhood trauma. This makes sense. I don't have any negative feeling at all towards THIS woman saying that.

[DishLady]

It's basically the same as saying I don't want to date anyone who's:
-- got kids
-- has been divorced
-- has blue hair
-- is obese
-- is... (fill in the blank)

[HawkPerception]

Everyone is free to have preferences, but for me, money being your goal for a relationship is a serious red flag and pretty shallow. It's more likely if you went broke, she would leave you.

[Finchie40]

It wouldn’t bother me because I wouldn’t date them period for saying something stupid like that

[coachTanthony]

Not at all if I was poor I wouldn't want to date me either.

[Account]

It is absolutely none of my business

[RingOfFire]

For myself I have always preferred dating "poorer" girls since I've been an adult. I grew up in a wealthy home in a wealthy place where everyone had a lot of money. So when I was a teenager I only dated girls from wealthy families. It wasn't until I was 18 and went across the country to college that I even met poorer girls... and I immediately preferred them. They weren't spoiled and stuck up, they were "real."

Ever since then pretty much every woman I have had a relationship with was much less well off than me. It made a perfect dynamic.

It works the other way around too. A poorer girl liked having a man who she knew she could live a stable life with. That didn't make her undesirable, it made her normal. Men are designed to provide and protect and wealth makes her feel provided for and protected. So I don't hold it against a girl who wouldn't want to date a poor guy. That doesn't make her a bad person, just a normal person.

Are there girls who are ONLY in it for the money. Yes, plenty of them. And that's not good. But it isn't very hard to tell the difference so you just avoid those.

[Anonymous]

It depends what they mean by that. I don't know anybody who WANTS to date someone poor.😆

But my response to that is the same response I have when women on this site state a BARE MINIMUM amount a guy has to make if he's going to date her. I always ask ok say you date him, say you guys hit it off and eventually grow to the point you move in together, engaged, possibly married. What do you do if he loses that job? What if there's an economic downturn and he cannot get a job paying him the same amount? What do you do if he gets injured, has a stroke, gets cancer, some kind of medical event and he's not able to work. The point I'm making is LIFE HAPPENS. Do you just bail out on him?

I can totally understand a woman (and to a lesser extent, a man) being concerned with a partner's ability to generate resources. I always have a plan on, on a plan, on a plan to ensure I never run empty. First income, second retirement investing, third discretionary investing. I probably don't meet most women's baseline income standards. But 30 years. Later my overall income dwarfs most.

No it wouldn't offend me her asking that. But I would be looking very closely at what she meant but that. Most women are smart enough to not lead with such comment. It comes off as classless.

[Nik1hil]

🤣No I won't be🤣

Poor is relative term.

Like a homeless person under the bridge near my house is poor than me and I am rich..

However, the Real estate developers of my town is rich and I am poor.

The Real estate Developer is poor and Royal family of my town is rich..

Royal family of my town is Poor and Elon Musk is Rich.

Elon Musk is Poor and Vladimir Putin is rich, since Putin has an army.

I won't be offended but Laugh it off, considering how small sighted , timid and petulant Fool she is for Using. Something relative as Frame of Reference for comparison.. following that I will try to ask the Static refrence points to decide what she considers rich!..

To get a Static Frame of Reference..

[DomInDraper]

I'd consider them smart, tbh. You can fall in love with a rich guy just as easily as a poor guy -- maybe even slightly easier. Why put yourself in the position of potentially falling in love with a poor man when you could just... not?

All of these people out here talking like money doesn't matter or shouldn't matter in choosing a partner baffle me. Of course your partner's financial status matters. It's massively impactful on your life. I wouldn't advise that someone ever marry for money... but I would advise that people avoid falling in love with someone poor.

[Anonymous]

Having been raised by dirt poor parents, I can totally understand why someone would say that.

I can tell you that being married to a poor person is even worse than being married to an obese 400 pound spouse.

The amount of suffering is immeasurable trying to date, marry and raise children with someone who is dirt poor

This goes for both men and women.

If you go for a dirt poor woman, she would not a woman of substance nor education. She would not be able to teach or pass on any wisdom to your kids.

[sawno]

I would and its an instant disqualification. Not only does it show she'd not apprechiate how much money I do have it shows she does not deserve me further in my career. She'd be way to materialistic for my liking. Now obviously if I was actually broke i'd be focussing on that first instead of dating. But if she merely finds my current salary to low she can find a rich fuckboy who won't actually respect her.

[sawno]

Now thats of course assuming she says it in the context about it being against me with an IT career. If she says it in a more general sense where she's a friend of mine and she dismissed someone with no money and no job prospects i'd understand completely.

[Asker]

I think you're assuming that they need someone rich. You can be middle class and not be poor, right? In my opinion, I think there are three types of people who would say something like this...those that have been poor and really know the struggle and don't want to go back, full on gold diggers and sugar babies/daddies, or those that are simply looking for someone "in their league," so they are more on equal footing. If I heard that, I agree, I'd need to know the context to figure out their motive.

[sawno]

I am middle class thats why if this was said to me she'd want someone rich.

[Screenwriter]

Nope. I'm poor. Nothing much I can do about that. And if their only criteria, or their MAIN criteria is how much money a person makes, then I'm the wrong person for them anyway.

I'm rich in personality, brains, warmth and fun. If that's not enough, they should look elsewhere.

You've dodged a bullet if someone tells you that. You know what their priorities are. And you also know that they want you to support them in some fashion. Very mercenary. Very sad.

[nastyb]

what if the person wants to get married to start a family?
you don't think having enough money to adequately support a wife and kids is important?

[Screenwriter]

@nastyb BOTH my parents worked. It was not on my father to "support" a family on his own. No ONE person should have to shoulder the financial responsibility of a family unless you've decided this between you. I also think it puts a family at a disadvantage financially. If one person dies, becomes ill, the other can still work and the family doesn't implode. But if the "breadwinner" is no longer that, or a divorce occurs...

I think a woman should work also. My parents did it with the help of grandparents and outside sitters. And we're talking about 70 years ago. And her grandmother worked while raising my mom, while my mom's dad was away working.

It can be done. And there is no 24. hour job being a homemaker today. unless your babies are infants.

What has to be done is to figure out HOW you will be able to do it. Someone staying home and not contributing financially is a giant drawback. BEFORE you have kids, start saving for the eventuality when you will have them. Line up child care centers where you can put your child because MOST have waiting lists and good ones are expensive.

[Screenwriter]

Have "sick" care people on hand because sick children cannot go to child care centers and since workers only have limited sick days and young children get sick a lot in their first 4 years, you may use up you OWN sick days for sick children.

These are the costs and realities of having kids. But the solution is not have one parent stay home and lose that highly important income, UNLESS one parent is making a BUTTLOAD of money and the other parent WANTS to be home.

I find being home with a young child borning and claustrophobic, even with interactions with other young parents.

UNLESS you're an ACTUAL homemaker: you cook and plan all the meals, you are the interior decorator AND you attend estate sales to buy good, cheap items and you refinish them. You paint the inside and outside of your home. You make everyone's clothes since you knit and sew. You take the nonwashable cothes to the cleaners and wash all the others and repair small dings.

You grow a vegetable garden and can what vegetables you can. You shop for groceries and necessities.

THAT list takes up more hours of the day than taking the infant out for a walk and planning dinner. That is what real homemakers do. They also manage the household and personal fianances of the couple with the aid of an account or financial planner.

That money value? About 100,000 per year. Worth their weight in gold. But do stay at home parents do all those things today? Not likely. And nothing wrong with NOT doing those things as long as you farm them out to someone else, which costs the money that the breadwinner parent is making and that's in the budget.

[Shiprex]

I don't think I would care about this kind of thing but if someone said it to me I would be instantly turned off as that's subjective and totally entitled af. As a guy it's never really a thing on the whole to consider the wealth prosperity or potential of those in a woman.

[Asker]

Do you think it's more to do with the "what if's," or the back of the mind thoughts for women vs. men, something I don't think men think of that much on their end. There is probably like a 50/50 chance these days with the way things are going that let's say she gets pregnant, she has to think, how will they take care of that child or how will she do it alone? Can't get financial support as a couple or child support if you're broken up from someone who has no money to begin with.

[nastyb]

unless you are dating just for fun, then money won't matter.
but if you are thinking about having children, it matters A LOT

[Shiprex]

Yes, that's probably why people would be like that because they're afraid of someone NEEDING them to support, which is why that's not really caring about them and taking responsibility for both. It's either lacking will power (care only about themselves and not the couple) or faith in themselves

[Shiprex]

@nastyb the dating for ltr relationship bit ought to be where one considered the potential and goals of the other first then decided whether it would be possible and workable to have a relationship with this type of person.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

I'm telling you this as a kid who was raised by very broke parents. You will suffer tremendously to raise those kids. There is nothing good about being super broke.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb BEING one way while having potential and motivation aren't mutually exclusive. It's perfectly reasonable for someone to end up broke for reasons of TRYING to make something of themselves and failing. Doesn't mean they're unable to move on and get better. Often the folk WITH no financial worries are the laziest, most obnoxious dimwitted entitled freaks who have no drive or ambition to do good. They're parasites.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

The poor ones tend to be the laziest ones. Having grown up in a poor environment, I have noticed that the poor ones tend to be the ones who have done absolutely nothing for themselves their entire lives.

People with money, have money for a reason. They have worked tremendously hard to obtain financial stability.

Broke people tend to think money rains from the sky for free. Thats why they never invest into their education, never have any certifications, never work hard in life. They believe that money comes from playing the lottery

Lets face it, if you had motivation, you wouldn't be broke.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb rich people seldom become so unless they have been born into it. Social mobility from poor to roch os at it's lowedt level in history. The same rich are just getting richer and the poor jist become a bigger more stricken group serving the system.
Motivation is one thing, privilege, connections and rich parents another.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

financially well off people are usually never born financially well off. Vast majority of billionaires are self made.

Being financially well off requires a lot of hard work in education, developing career.

A lot of these poor people are poor because they have never done anything for themselves their entire lives. They keep saying they "work so hard" at their job so they deserve pity. Working a mere job doesn't mean you are a hard worker. EVERYONE WORKS A JOB, it doesn't make you special. Rich people work jobs, middle class people work jobs, poor people work jobs.

But what I can tell you is: money does not rain from the sky.
Your boss will not pay you 60 dollars an hour unless he feels you have the knowledge, skill and expertise to deserve it.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Of course they are. Money people don't just appear, The rich and famous are that way because they've been that way for generations. Generational wealth is a real thing and is the cornerstone of conservatism (conserving the status quo of them bolstering the security of their wealth.
Most poor are that way because of systemic barriers put in their way, the social mobility elevator is out of order and the stairs are blocked by "insurance for this and that" bills, rent, food water, power, etc. that are controlled by the very same people who ARE rich and want to stay that way and not let others get to become rich as that would threaten them and their power.
If you think a dock worker, farmer, labourer aren't working jobs yet a banker can earn a years wage on a single deal? NO it's fixed to serve the rich and those who have capital or who serve it. Doing work that is essential as a service is at the mercy of the rich.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

The majority of billionaires in the world are self-made

www.cnbc.com/.../...ds-billionaires-self-made.html

79% Of Millionaires Are Self-Made — Lessons From Those Who Built Wealth Without Inheritance

finance.yahoo.com/.../...de-lessons-160025947.html

[nastyb]

we aren't talking about billionaires and millionaires. You can be financially well off without ever becoming a millionaire.

Only lazy people who never want to invest into themselves assume they must need inheritance in order to become financially stable.

Financial stability comes from having an education, dedicating time / hard work to developing skill sets, networking, constant learning.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb so teachers, nurses, soldiers, are lazy? First response workers can be classed as losers or does wealth tend to stay in wealthy grouos?
The people working 3 jobs just to survive are lazy? Or does a guy who plays gonf 3 days out of 7 when he's not tweeting dog whistle bs

While OF and social media influencer and musicians models, actors etc., are the pinnacle of hard work?
You're naive if you think rich means you've workeddor it. Billionaire and millionaires didn't start working pay cheque to pay cheque ever

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Nurses actually make decent money. I am a nurse, myself. Over here where I live, the average nurse makes at least 100k.

And it being hard to become a nurse is a major understatement. Becoming a nurse was beyond hard. I spent 60k on all the licenses I worked so hard to obtain throughout my lifetime

Nobody becomes a nurse or a teacher or accountant or engineer without hard work

If you dont want to work hard on yourself, dont go to college, never learn anything, make minimum wage working at McDonald's

I can tell you that studying full time and working full time gave me the hardest time of my life

[Shiprex]

@nastyb that's not exactly rich in the current economy and when you consider what it to compared to the financial services FAMILIES who free ride off their parents and social circles of who not what you know. That bunch aren't known for their work ethic.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Im planning on furthering my degree to become a nurse practioner or start an aesthetic nursing business to make more money in the future. Teachers go get masters degrees all the time in order to try to make more money. Accountants study for the 3 step CPA licensing exam in order to make more money

If you are just going to sit there and complain about how you are broke because you dont have any inheritenance handed down to you for free, you will always be broke

People with wealth understand that wealth does not come overnight but through years and years of hard work. Broke people believe wealth comes overnight and for free.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb
The huge majority of RICH people don't get there from their efforts but off the efforts of others. That those who make progress up the social scale is normal but few become top of the elite. However, they are not necessarily the best people. They LIVE to work not WORK to live. Take artisans and musicians who follow their passions but DON'T get the 6 figure income, who work because it makes them HAPPY instead of stressed, they're NOT lazy they're some of the most reliable trusting and trustworthy people around. The ones who's stick by when you lost everything. They are wage slaves like so many who see their life as a series of $,€ and £. Materialism isn't attractive, passion is.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Vast majority of wealthy people have earned their wealth. And this is the truth you cannot accept

If you take a look at the vast majority of broke people, they typically have no education, no skills, no certifications, then complain about why nobody will give them free money.

Money doesn't come for free. It takes a lot of hard work even to get into the middle class.

[nastyb]

I grew up under the poverty line, raised by parents who could barely afford me a winter coat. When I had outgrown my coat, I went 3 years wearing a coat where I was unable to zip up. I had gone through birthdays where my parents couldnt afford me a birthday cake.

Therefore I promised that I would never raise my kids the same way my parents raised me. I suffered enormously my 20s to build my education and career. Now I make 3 to 4 times my parent's salary.

Of course I can just give up on life, never go to college, never have to deal with student loans, never have to memorize textbooks all night. I will just work at McDonald's, make minimum wage and complain why the government isn't giving me an extra 5000 a month for free

[Shiprex]

@nastyb NOPE intergenerational wealth is by far the greatest source of prosperity in modern western society. Social mobility is very stunted because the powers who control the flow of money don't want an inflated wealthy class because that will threaten their power and wealth. It's human nature.
Having a job won't necessarily make anyone rich but in the current climate, owners have a lot of power to underpay people keeping them under paid for the profits they create through their labour.
I think the definition of "poor" I am using as low income poor but still striving to work while you're using one that is of a bum who has nothing and does nothing.

People on the way of at least trying aren't always given the same opportunities as those born into communities where they have far greater easier options. It doesn't make them better people. The example of a writer or artist who won't make bank but who creates a life of happiness and contentment more valid as the millionaire workaholic who doesn't help raises their children instead passing them on to nannies and "staff".

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Nobody complains about being broke unless they are broke.

People who make enough money usually don't get angry when they hear "I don't want to date anybody poor"

YOU REALLY DO NOT NEED TO BECOME A MILLIONARE TO LIVE A HAPPY, ADEQUATE LIFESTYLE.

I make 180k a year as a nurse. My parents only made 25k a year for a family of 4.

Don't tell me social mobility doesn't exist.

I'm perfectly happy with the money I'm making right now.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Social mobility does exist, but it's NOT a sign of being a worthy person. That just means you've drank the capitalist consumerist cool aid and are using "things" as a measure of your worth, Poor people aren't always complaining about being poor, They are often the ones most satisfied with the things and PEOPLE around them making life good.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Poor people are always hating on other people for making more money than them. Poor people are always complaining about how things aren't handed to them for free.

There is a reason why you are poor, because you believe that money rains from the sky rather than it coming from hard work. Anyone who has achieved social mobility understand that financial stability is earned through hard work, learning, investing into themselves.

Wanting to social mobility but not wanting to work hard for it is kinda like saying you want to lose 50 pounds, but you do not want to exercise or eat healthy food.

[nastyb]

Making friends do not pay the bills nor feed the kids nor give your kids a good education. Neither does romance help with any of these things.

[nastyb]

if you keep believing that money never comes from hard work, you will remain poor for the rest of your life. The only way to achieve social mobility without any hard work is to marry for money. There is no other way

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Romance can add another collective income to a joint family space thus collectively a better lifestyle can be achieved.
Hard work doesn't always come with financial reward, work that one enjoys does not get measured by the money it generates. That's like saying those who clean, cook, teach, serve, etc. have no value to their jobs, those who create, design, style and arrange has no value, which is wrong.
The culture of money grabbing and materialism with consumption for the sake of it is where humanity is failing itself. Tying yourself to the rat race and seeing only numerical benefits to things you do is not healthy.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

don't just assume that romance can add another income. Because day cares and nannies are expensive. If you are making 1600 dollars a month as a cashier at McDonalds, but daycare is 1500 a month, you're better off staying home and taking care of the kids, instead of sending them to daycare.

Plus, you wouldn't be able to teach or pass on any wisdom / career advice to your children if you are a broke uneducated parent. You need to be someone of substance in order to raise kids of substance. You can't mentor your child into success if you have no idea how to be successful.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb staying at home is one option that is equivalent to broke if you're looking after children though it's no longer broke because you're providing a saving to a household so effectively you're able to do housework (cost zero saves X), care for children (cost zero saves Y) and cooking (saves Z) then you might not be earning but you're work is priceless unless you believe raising children is worthless.
Having money and earnings doesn't make you wise either. It only means you've leapt into the rat race and served capital to make someone else rich.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Most mothers who stay home, only stay home because she knows she doesn't make enough to pay for day care or nannies.

Your stay at home wife and kids will SUFFER tremendously

You talk about cooking or cleaning. What if I told you that the stay home mom has no food to cook with? What if I told you your stay home wife doesn't have enough paper towels or toilet paper to clean with?

What if I told you your kids had no chance for a college education cuz you can't possibly pay for it?

[nastyb]

Poverty is a form of child abuse. A mom staying mom won't mean your kids are free from this abuse

[Shiprex]

@nastyb So by staying at home and being broke as a result is LAZY like you said or is it doing a valuable and worthwhile job? WHETHER with children or not because there is no requirement to be a parent.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

stay at home moms don't do anything. Especially when the kids are at school 8-9 hrs a day, she does not have much to do. Cooking 3 meals a day, putting dishes in dishwasher and clothes in the laundry machine is not hard and not time consuming. Cleaning doesn't even need to be done everyday.

this is why society does not respect stay home moms.

The kids only need you when they are still young and not in school yet. Once the kids are in school, there is not much to do

[nastyb]

everyone does something valuble in soceity. Everyone who works a job is doing something valuable to society. Stay at home moms are doing something valuable for the family. Not all stay home moms work hard. A lot of them do not.

Everyone does something valuable, but the only difference is that some parents can try to do as much valuable work for their kids as they can, but IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. This applies to poor parents. No matter how hard you try to work for your kids, it will never ever be enough.

You can be a stay home mom all you want, but never be able to send your kids to college.
You can be a stay home mom all you want but you will never be able to feed them quality food or even enough food.
You can be a stay home mom all you want but if you lack the education, wisdom, you will never be able to mentor your kids into success.

[nastyb]

its wrong to assume stay home moms are adding anything valuable. because truth is... the kids are at school 8-9 hours a day. They are not with their mother most of the day.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb DON'T do much? Are you serious? That's ridiculous. Cleaning cooking, maintenance etc are all ongoing tasks. Sure everyone could live in a shoebox like worker bees with zero lufe as existence was to work. That's the problem with capitalism, the notion of purpose of life revolves around work.
Live to work is that mantra. Not work to live which it should be given the historic sacrifices ancestors made to IMPROVE living conditions.
Planning things for the family, keeping community togetherness and ensuring the place is a pleasant welcoming place whether its men out working or women (THAT notion is anathema to feminists and women in general that "allowing" a man to stay at home 😱)

[nastyb]

@

Let's be realistic.

The house does not need to be cleaned everyday. who mops the house every single day? Nobody.

the dish washer washes the dishes for you.

the washing machine washes your clothes for you

the dryer dries your clothes for you.

your kids are away at school 8-9 hours a day.

by the time your kids reach high school, your kids will be at school for extracurricular activities. This means your kids may be outside the house 9-12 hrs a day.

so what the hell are you going to do at home sitting all by yourself?

if cooking 3 meals a day is already killing you, don't even talk about working a full time job then coming home to do housework, do child care- which my mom has done for over 20 years.

[nastyb]

[Sure everyone could live in a shoebox like worker bees with zero lufe as existence was to work. That's the problem with capitalism, the notion of purpose of life revolves around work.]

we work to PROVIDE A BETTER LIFE FOR OUR KIDS. we work so we can SEND OURSELVES ON VACATION. we work so we can SAVE TO RETIRE EARLY.

you don't want to work hard, that is why you are broke and poor and hating on the hard working people for having more than you.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

[Shiprex]

@nastyb NO we work for a better life FOR OURSELVES. If life was only about procreating then it would be women as incubators for men's offspring and that's not gonna happen.
WORKING hard for someone else isn't working. It's falling into the trap of being slaves to wages. LIVING is what existence is about and making sure you get the experience of life without depending on money is what makes it fulfilling.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

There is no such thing as a life where you can do absolutely nothing and can get everything in life. Even billionares like bill gates, elon musk, donald trump, mark cuban work their asses off for their wealth. Humans have worked all throughout history. Its nothing shocking or surprising.

You just sound lazy and entitled. There is a reason why you are broke. Its because you refuse to work hard. You definitely dont sound like you love your kids either. No parent who has their child's best interests in mind would say they rather do as little as possible to provide them a good life

[nastyb]

If you had just worked harder to acheive in life. You wouldn't have this obvious strong hatred for those who do better than you

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Have you read ANYTHING I said? I am not explaining MY situation just the flaws in YOUR argument and you come back with obnoxious ad hominem insults. Grow up do better.
The people MOST enjoying life do not HAVE to be earning lots because they derive happiness (a far greater wealth than any €$£ amount) from what they do and are content without being a slave to the toxic work culture that kills more than it saves. It's NOT lazy to be a carer, a school assistant, a cleaner, TEACHER even, it's a job with a purpose where WHAT you do is the reward that you seem to think is worthless because the dollar value is low.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb MORE ad hominem. Jeez

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

You cannot derive happiness from non monetary means, if you can't afford to send yourself on vacation

You cannot be happy if you can't even pay your next month's rent

You cannot be happy if you can't feed your kids enough food

You cannot be happy if you can't support your housewife and she will definitely will be giving you a lot of shit because of it

When your most important basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing are threatened, you cannot be happy.

Google Maslows hierarchy of needs. A person's most basic needs need to be fully satisfied before he can be satisfied with anything else

What you're doing right now is trying to justify how you spent your life being lazy as fuck. Its your form of self soothing because you have now realized how big of a mistake you made that now you are so broke because you were so lazy

You definitely sound like a miserable person... because you're broke

Broke people are always miserable people PRETENDING to be happy

You never see rich people trying to convince other people they are happy. Its always the broke people who can't pay rent or send their kids to college who always say money isn't important

[nastyb]

And by the way, teachers dont make minimum wage. Teachers can make more money by getting a masters degree, getting wage increases after additional years of experience or even doing tutoring gigs. Tutoring pays very well. Dont look down on teachers for being broke. They usually aren't.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Are you sure you can't gain happiness from GROWING your own food? Making your own home, spending time taking care of family, doing something you enjoy that can sustain you? Why is it anyone's responsibility to support a wife? Men aren't here for that purpose and any woman that thinks they are is entitled.

The ad hominem and ignorance spewing out here is hilarious. STILL going which shows poor self awareness and that's kind of SAD. That attitude suggests that in spite of having all this 6 figure income you aren't very happy.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

Yea you have low IQ thats why you think everyone can grow their own food. Dont you think you would need massive plots of land to grow enough food? Do you have the money to buy plots of land?

Do you know how long it takes to grow food? Its definitely not just 1 week.

Get smarter then you would be able to make money

[Shiprex]

@nastyb LOL you can literally grow food INDOORS in almost any place but perhaps not all your food and if you enjoy it then guess what? YOU SAVE MONEY, RESOURCES and remain happy without being a slave to the €, £ or $. Living to work isn't life and isn't something to boast about.

If your patience level is 1 week then how do you manage to get a life?

I do have land that I could grow on and have done but guess what, I don't need to and there is enough land to grow food for everyone just that the capitalists own it and want you to make them richer so they control what and how much gets made (most food grown actually goes to feed the 60 billion livestock animals and NOT people but that's a different argument).

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

do you know how many vegetables a family consumes in 1 week?

do you know how long it takes to grow 1 ear of corn?

your little indoors tiny plant pots will have you starve to death within 2 months.

you're an idiot. thats why you are broke.

[nastyb]

do you fucking realize how much it costs to raise a cow?

do you think everyone has the land to grow cows?

you would only need to grow your own food if you can't find success in the real world.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Since we're in social groupings we've discovered farming as a way to increase the ability to produce food. That farming when combined with other farming of crops can be used to SHARE and not sent to feed animals that must be grown to almost adolescence to be killed but that's an argument against animal farming.
Can we feed everyone collectively YES do we? NO because there's no profit in everyone being cared for until there's scarcity.
Childish ad hominem insults do not make your case.
Do better

[Shiprex]

@nastyb Don't raise cows, they take up space, use water, food when you could plant food and let it grow and collectively FEED people with the space that is available.
You realise every year there are 10 animals raised for EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet that require space and food and water? NEVER will you see livestock go hungry because they're all about €$£ and not about food.
Before money did food not grow on trees? Did humans get it dropped of by Ubereats?
JFC it's not rocket science

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

doesn't it take a lot of resources to raise cows? where are you going to buy massive plots of land, use massive amounts of machinery to grow grass, get massive amounts of water to grow the grass and feed the cows?

you barely have enough money to pay your rent.
how the fuck are you going to grow your own food and raise your own cows?

no, nobody is ever going to give you free land, free machinery and free water. quit dreaming.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb who needs to raise cows when orchards (farmed fruit) and fields (farmed crops) can feed dozens if not hundreds of PEOPLE instead of livestock?
60% of crops go to feed ANIMALS not people and there's enough crops growing now to feed over 10 billion people WITHOUT livestock but because it's all wrapped up in €£¥$ and run by people with lots of £€¥$ everyone has artificial scarcity pushed on them so the same few can get even more $€£¥ and have everyone enslaved to wages.

[nastyb]

where are you going to buy land to grow crops?
you can't have orchards if you can't afford to buy land.
you can't grow animals unless you have tons of land and plenty of seeds to grow crops.

why would i still need to explain this?

[Shiprex]

@nastyb as socially grouped people the land around would be used just as it is now. No need to have lots of land or money.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

there is no such thing as socially grouped land. Land always belongs to someone. If it doesn't belong to someone, it belongs to the government.

Your problem is... vast majority of the population don't live on grass, they live in cities

[Shiprex]

@nastyb The land around us is not owned by anyone but the community which IS the government and people would be given the purpose of doing stuff to sustain the community. Cities are built by communities and sustained collectively by government.

[Lliam]

That would be fine. At least they were being honest.

If I was truly poor, I couldn't blame them for wanting someone who was smart, hard working, motivated, had a decent job and some assets. I would simply move on.

And if some chick was looking for a guy who had lots of money, I would figure her for a gold digger and would want nothing to do with her.

[Douglas1180]

I get more offended by people who think I'm trying to impress them with money. I don't throw money around to impress people. But, they seem to think that about me when they see me in my nice car, clothes, nice house, neighborhood, etc. I just like nice things.

[Sunrising]

You mean lacking in finances. But what if they had poor social skills, poor hygiene, poor health etc. I would have to consider the person carefully. When we want to date someone, it's because they're attractive in some way, would any of us want to date someone that's poor? Probably not I wouldn't be offended.

[exitseven]

i can understand it. It really depends on why they are poor and what their attitude is about it. Some people are born into poverty and have a hard time digging themselves out. Some people are born with some advantages but are too lazy to take advantage of them.

[Phoenix98]

Would I be offended? No.

Personally though if I had a choice between two women I didn't know with one being rich and the other being poor I'd probably choose the poor chick. And by poor I mean someone who trying not to be poor but is because of life circumstances.

I can't really relate to rich people they don't know what it's like to actually struggle and genuinely suffer.

And honestly feel uncomfortable and out of place around a lot of them. It's not my world.

[Staximus]

I can understand not wanting to date somebody you would have to financially support. I would not want to date a woman who has some kind of financial expectations of me beyond supporting myself. Some women want a guy who can afford to take them to Europe for a week or a month, and that is not me. I'm not independently wealthy and have a normal job that I have to be at every week. I don't care if they didn't want to date me. I also don't make enough money to support a bum.

[Asker]

I don't think there are that many who would ever verbalize this out loud, but I would think along the lines of what you said, that they don't want the burden of having to be an adults 'mom or dad,'footing the bill for them at every turn. I think as an adult, at least in my POV, most working adults, want someone they can share everything with including the bills unless they are super into ancient gender roles or that person is like in school working towards financial stability.

[Staximus]

If I made a shitload of money and could afford to pay for everything then I would, but only after a woman married me

[TheSpaceGnome]

I likely wouldn't be able to meet a poor woman because my hobbies are expensive and thats how and where I spend my free time, so no, but I do think its silly to just discount someone you do find just because they are struggling financially.

[Anonymous]

No. But I sure as hell would t want to date someone w that mentality. She would be a good partner that’s for sure. Or kind of gives you an insight into what kind of person she is, which doesn’t sound good. I doubt that even a rich man would want her.

[PeachyPie93]

No.. Id just be like well that's nice, I'm not poor but do you bro.. lol
I have taken harsher comments so something like that would not phase me..

[IslaTheWitch]

no...

I respect people's personal preferences :D

[Anyone124]

No, although I’m not rich myself. I appreciate their honesty. Many people have become accustomed to a middle class or wealthy lifestyle. Often people from different socioeconomic backgrounds have a different outlook on life.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Without any context, yes I would be offended. And I'd be happy to be offended in fact, as it would be a consistent, healthy reaction, from me. Means I'm not jaded/blasé !

[Purpleronnie]

I wouldn’t be offended , I have nothing in common with anyone so motivated by money or wealth. I would likely pity them for being so shallow and materialistic

[NicholasRedone]

I don't make much money 🤑 💰 yet I do want a girlfriend who has an income and minimal to no debt.

After all - anyone stable, wants someone stable. Unstable can go with unstable lol 😆 see if I care lol as I date sensible 😅

[Samuel75]

No I won't be offended. Of course it's their decisions to decide who they wants to date.
But I will advise that they shouldn't judge base on money alone. Mindset, attitude goals should also be in check.

[Asker]

I'd agree with that!

[oldpigg]

I don't care if a woman is poor, I only care if she has a good career. A newly graduated doctor is more valuable than a rich woman without a career.

[MemeSupreme]

kinda but if you're a parent i get it

and people got a right to choose whatever they want so it is what it is

[Stevepro68]

They are sending the proper message stay away from me I am simple minded and childish.

[Asker]

Why is that a childish statement or simple minded? Is your plan to pay for everything for them if you were to date someone who is poor and can't afford to help with bills, gas, grocery, etc? All you need is love is an absolute myth when the bill collector comes knocking.

[Stevepro68]

What is poor? What does that mean to you? Donald Trump is poor compared to Jeff bezos. All life is complex and all discussion about life style is subtle nuanced and a partnership. That kind of blanket statement is both arrogant you are poor and I'm not. Also totally says you are what you can do for me and nothing else. That's is why it is childish it's black and white thinking. When you wrote this you probably had specifics in mind but that statement excludes people for arbitrary and capricious reasons not specifics and it says more about the person than they think it does.

[septemberintherain]

Seems like a closed minded thing to say in my opinion.

[itsannalee]

No i won’t be offended, I would just say

“Neither do i?”.

[glennos89]

No not at all, I would be happy if someone tells me they don't want to date me because I'm poor...

That's me dodging a gold digger right there 🥳

[lilBigPotato]

It depends on the context. I think it's fair to said to not want to date someone with financial problems.

[MoonFace2]

Nope. I am poor. If they want to marry someone who isn’t and prioritise status and wealth, they’re barking up the wrong tree with me.

[FreyaRed]

No but I would think telling something like that in RL isn't really smart

[Nikki1989]

Not offended, but it would raise some red flags.

[midnightcavern01]

Only everybody who considers themselves poor which happens to be most of the population XD

[slatyb]

No, that's a choice. Many people feel it without saying it.

[Unap0logetic_]

No, they’re entitled to have dating standards and nonnegotiables. We all are.

[Pohjolan]

Not offended. I just wouldn't pursue them. What if I became unable to work due to a injury or had invested a lot into a business idea that failed?

[fish5505_87]

I not a fan of the sentiment, however, not sure if I should speak for other people about what they do or don't want. This is a tough one.

[KostasKouvalis]

I'd just reply, "It's good I'm not poor then." :p

[Shy_Steve]

It's pretty much how most Women would feel if a Guy they find Attractive said he doesn't want to date an ugly Girl.

[OddBeMe]

Poor is a current state. Ambition is a state of mind. Two different states of mind on this can’t be in a relationship

[nawtee_me]

They have that right, the right to date how they choose and who they choose. As for me, I didn’t want to date them either.

[BigYin]

Yes because you'll RARELY hear a man say those wods coz a MAN doesn't care, i emphasise MAN because women unfortunately have a hard time telling the difference between men and fukboi's

[Hellraiser1984]

They suck and are shallow vapid ignorant and a gold digger

[Jennz6]

It doesn’t bother me what people think about me

[lorenzomichael]

No, besides why would I be offended? I wouldn’t give a fuck.

[QuestionObsession]

It means they want to date money and not really the person

[LiamJHayden]

No. People are entitled to their preferences. Personally, I don't care if she's broke.

[MrShaun]

I'm glad I didn't think that way. My wife was financially challenged when we met. Best thing I ever did was make her my wife.

[dragoblack]

A little, then i would realize I'm dodging a bullet.

[noohair]

If it is all about money it is good to know so you can get out quick.

[CallmeRuby02]

I wouldn't even hang out with someone thought like that. It sounds like they throw me away if something “better” came along then.

[Manuelwe]

No. I wouldn't date any woman who breast are too big or fat