Is it okay for a man to pretend to have a low income to filter materialistic women?

[HawkPerception]

Yes

No

[Summeroflove]

I think outright pretending to be someone you’re not is sketchy in its own right. But I also agree men who have money do need to be extremely careful especially if they’re flaunting it.

Narcissistic and materialistic women will make you absolutely miserable and most aren’t going to be honest about what they want. These women will eventually leave you if they find someone who has more. If you loose it they will leave or if they just blow it all. As well as the fact if they can’t build those genuine connections you’re going to be cheated on all throughout the relationship.

[ProbablyClueless]

Nope. Nothing wrong with that at all.

With the way I've seen women's eyes sparkle and ears perk up when they find out I'm a lawyer. Having some screening measures in place just sounds like a good idea.

[DishLady]

LOL.


Sounds like a recipe for disaster. I mean… at what point do you tell the other person, “babe, I was lying to you all this time… I own half the planet and am loaded… I’ve decided you’re worthy.”


I’d literally walk away from a dbag who thought it was ok to manipulate people like that.

[Miristheiss]

Good ridence gold digger. You are worthless. OP never ssid lie. It is easy to not flaunt wealth. Many wealthy people do not live flashy.

[HawkPerception]

I personally know she isn't a gold digger. She has a different perspective is all

[DishLady]

@HawkPerception thanks for defending my honor, but @Miristheiss just seems to be one of the million dbags on this site. Pay him no mind.

[DishLady]

Anyway a gold digger wouldn’t care they were lied to. I wouldn’t tolerate a liar.

[DishLady]

@HawkPerception --> www.instagram.com/.../

[PrincessC16]

I say yes. In the beginning. And what a pleasant surprise when you find out different. Don't be so hard on women. Some of us have always gotten the shitty end of the deal. There's a lot of us that just want true love.

[HawkPerception]

I can tell you're a decent woman from the opinions I've seen and I believe you. I definitely don't hate all women, but many do just use guys for money and a better living standard.

There's shitty guys too, but I can't help but be a little salty about the women 😂

[PrincessC16]

Maybe someday you'll find that one that you're looking for❤️

[blackeagle007]

There’s this video I saw last night. A big mistake this guy married a total scammer. She took him for all. This is why we have to be very careful. How do we truly know if she’s all about the $ or not.

[ohsheeT]

No then your being fake just like the girl.
And what your saying is that your not smart enough to allow the right person in your life

Look all women want a good guy they can love and they feel comfortable with and has a good income .

[aceleon]

That's what i always do, even if i have shit load of money at the time i act like i am broke, i have no business with leeches even for a 1 night stand.

Even if i get rich enough one day and go masochistic enough to marry my girl will never know i am rich, she will only know that we have a fairly comfortable life where we don't think about our finances that much.

[contentious]

If you own your own business, you can tell girls you are unemployed and still be telling the truth. You have "clients", not an "employer". You tell them the truth, and they interpret it wrong. The dumb hos will run away, but the ones that like your personality and think you're hot will stay for a while.

[EzraIsShy76028]

I'd say it's a just okay plan. While there's the "you gotta be honest 100% of the time no matter what!" defense, in this case I believe the lie has a good purpose. If someone wants you just for your money they're not worth it. So it might be a decent filter.

[Sachem]

Hadn't thought about this matter before. Over the years, what few times I've dated, women have always shown themselves to be materialistic in that their first question invariably was ''how much money do you make?" If you are concerned over their materialism, this is a good way to find out their state of mind in that regard.

Very good question. Thanks for asking.

[Quigly]

Marriage is an institution about Money and Consumerism. Your Government created the Marriage license, it's a financial contract that turns the marriage into a materialist pile of trash that has nothing to do with Love. It's about buying the house and the car and your Government gets the taxes while you fill up your house with things you don't need. They also want a child, new slaves for the system. This is what your Government wants. Love is a decision that has nothing to do with Money, Marriage is all about money. It's not a Religious Moral institution, it's an Immoral Government Institution. If you don't want to be a part of it, walk away like many others have done already.

[wynning]

Deception is hard to green light no matter what the reason is.
Would you be okay with a woman doing something similar to you?
I think it's okay for the purpose because you come out as being a higher earner at the end but if you're looking for something serious, it will be something you'd want to be honest about fairly early on. And then you have to face whatever reaction the other person has about you straight up lying.
I wouldn't risk it but it's up to you.

[Shiprex]

Don't women kind of do that anyway with make up and high heels? NOT advertising something isn't the same as hiding it is it?

[wynning]

@Shiprex That's a good comparison. Guys do complain about women leading them on with looks held up by makeup as it can be drastic. In fairness it is only supposed to enhance looks not fake them but. Heels for height... yeah it's kinda similar. Your examples for looks, his one for lifestyle/finances.

With this view, I guess it's like saying "well I didn't lie, I just didn't say the truth."

[Shiprex]

@wynning
Early in a relationship it's not hard to withhold some intrigue about the other but these days technology is available to get all sorts of information about a person without too much cost or trouble which is pretty sad because then it quits being organic and real. In this country it is very easy to get a ton of information about someone just from their name (house value, living with someone, tax paid etc.)

[wynning]

@Shiprex Yeah you're right. You could do a full background checm on someone just by following their digital footprints!
There's what I would say is a field in client reconnaissance called OSINT that involves just looking up people's stuff online and seeing what can be pieced together from what's found. And you hardly have much say in it with everything going and having gone digital.
And then there's the security info that was supposed to be kept secret... sorry I'll stop here cause I would just go on lol

[Shiprex]

@wynning
Absolutely flabbergasting how easy it could be for a simple search to dig up so much stuff and with AI it will only get easier and they'll be searching out images and all sorts of shit. I had a friend just the other day have some kids in his school book a hotel stay in his name with his work email for a month in Dubai through booking. com and the confirmation came through to his email that he owed something like €35k for this hotel as it was 6 weeks full board. THAT got sorted out but if he had a credit card attached to that then he'd be screwed and not paying it would go on his credit record and that would be there permanently.

[wynning]

@Shiprex Jaysus Mary and Joseph I'd be deceased seeing that now! That's mad so it is. Seeing you owe 30 odd grand for a hotel you've never stepped foot in- mental.
Fair play to him for getting it sorted anyway. You're right too the AI involvement makes it way more scary. Sure you wouldn't even know what's not spoofed anymore.
I'd switch out my whole presence after that.

[Shiprex]

@wynning
The problem was made worse by it being his work email because there was some kind of "demand" to pay attached to this confirmation email. Police and things were called to deal with to the parents of these daft kids. I actually thought it was quite funny as did others because it's a spoofy kind of thing that gets giggles among teenage kids and they don't see the potential risk of it for others BUT it highlighted a flaw in the system that this could so easily be done.

[wynning]

@Shiprex Why DID they put his work email down anyway? For a laugh? Seems a bit daft sure what if it went on a tab and the company's like "we're not paying all that!". Not that it'd affect then but yeah. I've many tales of a similar vein myself working in customer service while in college and they're all bananas. People would call in with mad stories like this and most of them are deadly serious too... I'd get it sorted for them but the stakes are higher now with how much easier everything gets!

[wynning]

Now I'm embarrassed my current age ends in -teen haha

[Shiprex]

@wynning
It's the only email they knew for him and I think they thought it would be seen as a joke and not go this far.
It was because the employer got pissed they thought they'd have to pay that he was called in last week and had the whole thing cancelled when he contacted the hotel and booking firm. It seems like it's an easy thing to do with some booking companies that all you need is an email and if the account is present then it can be arranged. He reckons it got stopped because the account he has with the booking agent didn't have an up to date credit card else he could have been billed for it.

[wynning]

@Shiprex Ah I see. What a close call that was. I feel like there is an easy way to make a tidy sum scamming people with this... might just avoid registering a credit card anywhere and using a debit card with hardly any money in it or something at this rate.

[Shiprex]

@wynning

LOL that's just the thing that would come out of the mouth of youths to be playing a side hustle not thinking of the risks.

[Shiprex]

Being a teenager is about learning of testing boundaries and teachers can expect shit like that to happen. It's when agencies aren't secure in their practices that there can be issues. There's nothing to be embarrassed for as it gives us a good chuckle though those kids would get their ears burned by the police and parents.
For the kids it does show imagination only misguided and the testing of the system is a bonus they should resolve

[wynning]

@Shiprex Hey, I wasn't thinking of doing it, alright! Just popped into my head 😆
Well even with the creative criminality, they'd make great system penetration testers that's for sure (:

[Shiprex]

@wynning
I don't think you should be afraid to challenge boundaries but at least learn that consequences will happen and learning to determine the impact of them is a very useful strategy for life. You learn how to judge risk and make decisions based on it.
This example is exactly what you said that these kids found a massive dangerous flaw in the system that the system should by now have actually resolved. It's almost a glaring hole in their security that two kids stumbled into like drunks lol.

[wynning]

@Shiprex Sure look it, I've still a long way to go in the way of life and living! I'm only starting to come to grips with what existing as my own person in the world is like... so I thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. I'll keep it in my algorithm when deciding whether to risk it or play it safe. Kinda reminds me of the butterfly effect.
Grand so, stumbling around what's familiar would be a start!

[Shiprex]

Great attitude to go with. Considerate fearlessness

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

I NEVER share my financial status. PERIOD. Its no one's business. I have experienced women coming on hardcore when they find out my income and decide if can give them "the lifestyle " they believe they are entitled to.

Best to not share those details until your positive they want to be in a relationship with you and not your bank account

[Cormac995]

Briefly yes. But the truth shouldn't be held back very long, and you need to explain why you did it as soon as you think you can. If you keep that secret for like two months, she'll probably be pissed. The first few dates though would be fine I think and frankly if you don't want to get fucked in a divorce this is just common sense to be safe.

[WindAtMyBack]

I don't think there is a reason to pretend to be poor. But if you are rich you don't want to advertise it either. Some guys love to flaunt their riches, then complain about gold diggers. WTF?

I'm certainly not someone who thinks all women are gold diggers. But they are common enough that any guy with money should watch out for it.

If I was rich, I would not let a new woman know it. I'd wait to see what kind of person she was first.

[alice55]

Totally ok I do the same too. I heard too often women getting all of their money stolen by their boyfriend and then the guy abandoning them (or people trying to scam my sister or trying to get free food by her because she's very generous) so I do the same always pretend to be extremely poor (well I'm jobless right now so I'm poor but when I earned money while working for a town hall I definitely was not showing it off).

[Miristheiss]

If course.

Unless a couple is evaluating marriage then his income is none of her business.

[Miristheiss]

"Of" course.

[RingOfFire]

It is difficult for a wealthy man to know if a woman is after him or his money. I know, because I am one of them.

And yes, I have been in some relationships where I tried to hide it for a while until I got to know her better and what her intentions were. I don't see what's wrong with that.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't think it's good to pretend at all

but no one says you have to share how much your salary is...

[RavVid]

I've heard enough girls say "And he's rich" to think this is a good idea.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Not only is it ok, its a must. Never tell her your income until she has a ring on her hand and has shown herself to genuinly love you.

[Dreamclouds]

Of course but not only bcs of that being modest and looking poor is normal regarding other human beings as well, I am not rich but doing ok still I never buy new or fancy clothes, have this sweater it got broken twice but still wore it all winter, in my mind it feels normal to not want to impress and search for soul connections not materialistic ones, they are life long lasting

[oldpigg]

Hypergamy is inherent in every woman, if you don't want materialistic women then simply don't associate with poor women, pretending you have little money will only work with women who are also poor.

[ewok737]

So many financial leeches out there can't be too careful.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

More like: “Is it okay for women to pretend to wait until marriage to filter horny dudes? 🤪”

[LazerBean]

Relationships starting with deception will fail. Men with good judgement do not need to lower themselves to such tactics to find a good wife.

[Yohenis]

Yes, this is how you test your potential future partners. I remember this girl in my uni dating a dude from Kansas telling us how she was kept in dark by her boyfriend kevin rich brat pretending to be a janitor

[chrissykerdock]

most guys just want blowjobs they don't take you out

[molonski2]

Yes 100% , I've always worked backwards this way , I dont want them going for the money.

[loveslongnails]

How is that different from wearing make-up that totally transforms a woman's face into something unrecognizable without it?

[HawkPerception]

Lying about how you look and money are 2 completely different aspects. One is about preventing materialistic women. The other is simply lying about your biological attraction level, which can affect kids.

[loveslongnails]

Deception is deception, plain and simple, however you are misreading my intent. My point is that a man pretending to be low income to weed out money chasers is NOT different from women who make themselves look completely different with make-up. "Looks" for a man is a key attractor, while money for women is a key attractor for them. Of course, this isn't absolute for everyone. My point is - there's no difference.

[JesseP1nk]

I would suggest to not talk about the money then or place you own, drive an average car. Tell you are more intrested about the person not about the things they own :)

[truthteller234]

that is like saying "is it ok for a woman to be as ugly as possible to filter out the perverts?"

yes, it may filter out all the materialistic women. But you probably end up with a less attractive woman.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes, or just do what I do. First couple of meetups are super casual. That weeds out the food whores.

[serious]

Yes, I think it is okay to use this as a test.

[Smegskull]

Deception is bad. Just get better at judging people's character.

[namikazezoro]

Yes. It is also okay to sign a pre-nup to protect your assets.

[namikazezoro]

I do agree with some of the ladies here. You will still be able to filter the gold-diggers or materialistic women if you don't pretend to have a low income.

Also, some guys are just as bad or worse.

Being honest is better than pretending to be somebody else.

[Jay-_-]

I don't see an issue with it.

[blackeagle007]

I like that idea. Glad to come across this

[noohair]

Absolutely yes…!!!

[McLlovin]

Its more than ok its required

[WhitneySnow]

Sure

[andreasderjuengere]

Here in Thailand it's a survival skill.

[KittygosMeoWW]

as in lie? No

[Blackcat1952]

BECAUSE

[Dongie]

Yes.