Why is the dating game so hard for average men?

[Anonymous]

I know that the world is unfair but I just can't seem to understand why average (also ugly) guys have it so hard. We as men have to approach women while we risk embarrassment, rejection, etc.. Then when you do get the number most women play games or they just stop responding for no reason. I'm fine with being single but goddamn being lonely for years hurt. It is not like I need women but sometimes I think everybody wants their "needs" met and it is exhausting. So you tell me that I have to go through rejections, disrespect, being lonely, etc just to end up "hopefully" to 1 woman? Now I understand why all these athletes all "cheat" on their wifes or why people who become famous have multiple women. I think that it is fair for those men to do what they want considering the dating game and how there is almost no benefit in being a "good" man. To top it all off women really complain about men not being "men" anymore by not being a gentleman, giving flowers, etc.. while a dude who invests almost nothing gets the woman 😂. Another thing which is what I found funny is that a woman can find 1 "ick" and that is enough to just ghost you. To make matters worse I have seen what woman do for attractive guys or guys they have a huge crush on. It's like they are a whole different person. All of the "icks" go straight out of the window and they do whatever the guy in question ask them to do. I feel like I'm mentally scarred from the whole dating game, it just seems too rigged. The only upside I see is that men become more resilient but the price to pay for it, is way too high.

[Datboi65]

I skimmed over most answers, and I'm here to report that most of them are bullshit.

I don't claim to be some expert and I'm also prone to making a mistake, but I'm going to provide a more analytical answer from my observation and it will be up to you (the reader) to agree or disagree.

Let's start with the facts:

Most of the data that's collected on dating is related to the use of online dating, because it's easier to find information there than to make a survery for every individual that dates in the real world.

Online dating offers a significant advantage to women, because men are much more visual on average, and women (and men) ONLY post their best pictures on the internet. Add to that the use of filters and angles, and it creates an unrealistic image of who the person is in reality. If someone is a 6 in real life, they can be an 8 on social media.

The number of men that use dating apps on average is MORE than the women that use it. Add to that the fact that men swipe right on average more than women, and now you see that every women is left with a TON of options to pick from. Of course you'd be selective too if you were in their shoes. Those women pick only the ones they find physically attractive, narrowing down the list to fewer people, and then look for other things to eliminate like sense of humor (or lack thereof), likes and dislikes, where you'd go on a first date and "zodiac signs" (that was a joke by the way).

Online dating in a way is like getting a job. You have a bunch of people competing for one spot, and the interviewer can nit-pick what they don't like about you if they don't vibe with you. The only exception here, is that dating apps have PREMIUM subscriptions, which further complicate everything.

Now, is it any better dating in the real world?

Well, for that you will have to ask people about their experiences. What most people will tell you, is that they're more likely to ask out someone they already know, i. e. an acquaintance or a "crush". It can work either way, but it's definitely much more likely to work over approaching a complete stranger.

Again, I'm gonna try to draw a scenario from a place that hopefully you'll understand and can somewhat relate to.

If you're a girl, you're probably outside minding your business in the supermarket. May be you have to go to the gym in an hour or so, so you really don't have much time for small talk. You're looking for pet food for your dog, and some random dude tries to get your number. Would you give him the number? Probably not. Women are people too, and they have plans and stuff to worry about during the day. It could be that:

A) Bad timing

B) You're not her type

C) She doesn't like giving her number to strangers

D) All of the above

Regardless of that, you shouldn't beat yourself up too much over it. Accept that and move on. Plenty of women don't like cold approaches, but some women don't mind if they're done respectfully. However, universally speaking cold approaching is less likely to land you a relationship (unless you are VERY active) compared to asking out someone that you already know.

Young men struggle because they don't know what to do and where to look. I find that the majority of young men are very realistic in their expectations of who they can be with, unlike what some of the comments here might suggest. However, they don't know how to convey interest without being awkward. They don't know how to look and where to look, and are instead spending money on the wrong things like subscriptions for dating apps instead of working up the courage to ask someone out in real life.

They don't have a voice of real guidance as the best advice they're offered is "man up" by their dad without any knowledge of the technicalities that go into it finding a partner (since boomers and Gen X cannot relate to 21st century dating problems), and their other form of advice comes from old grifting "alpha male" redpill gurus on YouTube and tiktok that tell them that getting girls is all about "leveling up" ad making six figures, which is unrealistic for most men.

If you want to find a relationship, you need to take care of the basics:

1) Be presentable. Dress well, work out and maintain hygiene.

2) Be responsible. Financial literacy and a set of short and long-term goals you are working towards.

3) Don't be awkward and work on your charisma and humor.

4) Become well-rounded by developing hobbies and reading books.

5) Heal from any past trauma you might have.

After that, look for women in the places where a) they're more likely to be in a good mood and b) they're more likely to socialize.

Join a running club or a book club. Those require people to interact, and you will find out that you actually like that hobby.

If you choose to talk to someone you already know, then work up the courage to approach and ask her out when she's not busy with something.

Take rejections well and ask for feedback. You'll realize that a lot of it really has nothing to do with you or with things that you should be too hung up over. Why? Some have a boyfriend, others are busy, others may not be in a good mood, or you're not their type and for some you remind them of their ex. Nothing you can do in any of these situations, so you need to stop beating yourself up over that.

[msc545]

Right, I really want some simp who skims answers, then proceeds to tell me that they are all bullshit, then gives garbage dating advice. Really inspires confidence.

[nastyb]

your answer is legitimate BS.

men are realistic with their expectations?

you have plenty of men on here who say they only want a woman younger than them, not fat, under 30. There are men in their 40s-50s who claim they want someone at least 15-20 years younger,

Reality is most men have high expectations, thats why they can't find anyone. They only approach girls who are young, pretty and thin and under 30. Then they complain about why girls are so stuck up.

Go for the 33 yr old, cubby lady who you never noticed that was standing there. She would be glad to have your number.

[msc545]

Women do not approach men at all that they are not interested in or not attracted to. Why is it you think men are obligated to do this? Most of us would rather be alone than be with a woman that we find unattractive.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb So you're saying men should "settle" for what they can get? How about aspirational and having a character that can bring out the best in an aspirational YOUNGER woman who NEED stability and perhaps someone who knows what the world is about and has their shit together. Aren't women seeking that kind of thing from men that young men aren't able to provide unless they are that TALL (6), rich (6) and in shape (6) so the preferences that the older chubby girl sees as her right to ask?

[msc545]

@Shiprex Women just want money. If you have enough of it then it doesn't matter how tall you are or what you look like.

[Shiprex]

@msc545 Some do but a lot have their own and that's why they aren't conditioned or prepared to be able to provide for another in a relationship. It's because they DON'T have what it takes to be wives or partners

[msc545]

@Shiprex I've yet to meet a woman who would turn down A guy with a lot of money. The only women who have money are those who married and divorced it or who outlived the guy.

[Shiprex]

@msc545 There are plenty of women who work and earn. The sort of women who would want to be with arrogant twatwaffles like Elon Musk and their ilk aren't especially smart although if MONEY is the key to happiness for anyone then that says there isn't necessarily a worthy character trait in there to be fond of

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

I really hate the fact that men ONLY WANT YOUNGER, SLIM, PRETTY women , then they come on here to claim they have reailstic or low standards.

No, you don't actually know what women want.

Vast majority of women nowadays DON'T NEED stability. Most women go to college, have multiple degrees and hold great paying careers. They don't need your money, they have their own money. Women are just looking for someone they can respect, not some broke loser.

Plus, don't complain about young pretty women REJECTING you and wanting taller, richer men. They can AFFORD to have those standards. The fact you are complaining about those women having high standards, it means you don't match up to those standards.
So yes, YOU should go settle for the chubby older woman.

[nastyb]

@msc545

young pretty women don't tend to want significantly older men unless he has a lot of money.

so yes, if you want to score someone young, pretty and slim and high value, your highest chances of scoring her , would be when you are still in your 20s-30s

[nastyb]

@Shiprex
Whenever a guy complains about women having high standards, it means he can't reach her standards. It means he is going for women out of his league. Young, pretty, slim women in their 20s can afford to have high standards, they have the entire world of men wanting to date them.

so quit complaining about women's standards

[Shiprex]

@nastyb
You start if off by saying men want then flip it to WOMEN WANT as if it's up to MEN to choose women because they fit a woman's preference and that their desires are second place. GTF with that entitled nonsense.
Men are still the ones providing all the essential services so have every right to be pissed that women live off the backs of men in society and NO it's NOT "the patriarchy's" fault for making men do that, that's men's nature to BUILD and sustain while women's is to exist and use.
Men have every right to have expectations of cleaning, cooking and the whole image thing is a cop out that WOMEN THINK MEN want because you don't know men. We're after a HOME not a competitor which is where you're coming from here.
Men would marry a pauper if she was nice, kind, worthy, loyal and SKINT, women WOULD RUN A MILE because they're ONLY interested in what they can GET from a partner. Once they get it they're out the door with half the assets he' made and often alimony HE earns. How tf is that fair? Some of the richest women in US got there because THEY married then divorced successful men and were housewives. That's ridiculous.

Chubby older women tend to be unhealthy, less fertile, BUT you can bet a guy will be willing to give her a chance. Can the same be said for the princesses giving the "short king" or "dad bod" a chance? NOPE women are a mile ahead in the vanity stakes and all the expectations they STILL have about paying for fancy dates and make up, hair etc. (you do it for yourself you say not for objectification)

No men WON'T settle, they're better off looking out for themselves, it's what women are doing in relationships afterall

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

[Chubby older women tend to be unhealthy, less fertile, BUT you can bet a guy will be willing to give her a chance. Can the same be said for the princesses giving the "short king" or "dad bod" a chance? ]

why would a princess give a short king or a dad bod a chance? if short, poor men like you want young, slim, pretty princesses?

[Men have every right to have expectations of cleaning, cooking and the whole image thing is a cop out that WOMEN THINK MEN want because you don't know men. We're after a HOME not a competitor which is where you're coming from here.]

you want a pretty, slim, young housewife in her 20s but you CAN'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO PROVIDE FOR HER. So why should she, a high value woman, pick a broke ass like you? if you can't support a family, you're not entitled to a housewife.

[Men would marry a pauper if she was nice, kind, worthy, loyal and SKINT, women WOULD RUN A MILE because they're ONLY interested in what they can GET from a partner.]

and what makes you think you would be with a woman unless you can GET something from her? you wouldn't even date a loyal, kind, nice worthy woman if she were a chubby lady in her 30s.

Don't talk about women having high expectations if you have high expectations yourself. Especially short, unattractive, broke men who think they deserve the top 10% of women.

Broke men who demand housewives but could never provide for a housewife.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

you come on here to complain about women's high standards. while you wouldn't lower your standards yourself.

Let me ask you: what do you have to offer to a woman?

From your tone of voice, I can tell you have nothing. You're just a bitter, hateful, jaded old man

[Shiprex]

@nastyb The only BITTERNESS is coming from your end with the ad hominem insults and abusive language because you're not successful with men you think you're entitled to or have been used by those guys and not gotten anything from them.
I'm at least keeping it GENERAL and not getting personal and immature with name calling with zero context.
Women in general can get laid far easier than men FACT. Women control the access to sex, men to relationships and right now women's attitudes to relationships and all the BS demands are getting stonewalled and men are stepping out till the bitter entitled ones are past it and out of the way. Men tend to get more stable and able to support women (that's the whole point of your rant about broke men lol so established men are more likely to be older and THEREFORE can pick and choose who and whether they're prepared to share that with someone.
FYI a woman that expected me to pay for her "lifestyle" can gtf as there would be nothing she's bringing if her obsession with money was that important. She has HER OWN means and goals toward providing (in my case she's better off than I but there goes your ignorant name calling assumption).
PS I have dated FAT not CHUBBY women in their 30s and she was crazy but it was fun at the time but went nowhere. Then the ones who were earning more than I was, yeah we dgaf about what earnings as long as she's not a princess expecting to be paid to be a wife.
I could go through my personal range of sizes and can tell you all are within 5 inches in my height NOT A FOOT TALLER like most (older chubby) women STILL want to "feel secure" and "get them into their feminine" because they can't just BE feminine.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb

Something that I can admire about your apparent traits you list about the kind of things MEN value that are NOT about looks, that just brings the attraction. Loyalty kindness and charming are miles above the looks but at least with chubby that can be changed while YOU won't look at a guy who can change his height who's the same size or less than an arbitrary 6 feet tall.
Talk about shallow

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

[Women in general can get laid far easier than men FACT.]

Yea.. women also get sexually taken advantage of or sexually assaulted or used by sexual predators

[ (that's the whole point of your rant about broke men lol so established men are more likely to be older and THEREFORE can pick and choose who and whether they're prepared to share that with someone.]

There are plenty of well established young men who are doctors, software engineers, lawyers, techies, corporate financiers in their 20s-30s. You really don't need to be 40 years old in order to be well established. If you take a look at marriage data and statistics, average age gap is only 2-3 years. Not 12 or 20 years. Women dont want old men, they want young ones.

And its pretty clear that you get rejected all the time by young women. otherwise you wouldn't be so angry and filled with rage. its a clear sign that you aren't what these young women are looking for.

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

[Loyalty kindness and charming are miles above the looks but at least with chubby that can be changed while YOU won't look at a guy who can change his height who's the same size or less than an arbitrary 6 feet tall.]

if chubby were so easily changed, then nobody would be fat anymore in the US. Yet, over half of americans are overweight in the US.

Plus, if you aren't 6 feet tall, don't have good looks, don't have riches, don't complain if those young, slim pretty girls under 30 don't want you. Don't come on here to complain about how you can't get a high value woman if you aren't high value yourself.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb chubby is a lifestyle choice that shows one can't or won't find ways to improve themselves and do work, something feminists don't tell women to do only to demand their entitlement.
Men get told all the time to work on this, that and thr next thing BY OTHER MEN and women while women (each others worst enemy) blow smoke up each other with clichés of "you're perfect as you are, Queen", "accept me as I am" , "really men can't handle strong women " and all the crap. Why tf would a guy ho LOOKING for s woman he needs to "handle" and be the emotional regulator and punch bag for her immaturity? Nope women get put on pedestal just for existing, other women will bring them down and men will look for tge ones stepping off to be real.

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb you should settle for chubby women

[nastyb]

@Shiprex

well if you can't get a pretty, slim, woman under 30 then go for a chubby woman in her 30s.

when low value men keep telling high value women to settle but he won't settle himself.

[nastyb]

@blackeagle007

you can't get a high value woman, so you should settle for a chubby older woman.

shitty men like you keep telling high value women that their standards are too high. but you can't lower your standards either.

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb you need to lay off the drugs. You are so jaded. Grow up. You’re a man hater. Total liberal feminist.

[Shiprex]

@nastyb pretty much nothing you say hete is anything but ad hominem ignorance. I'm not bitter in the slightest but see that wholly you've bitten off an oversized chunk of misansrust feminist propaganda and can't see the reality or want to find out.

[Datboi65]

@msc545 GOOD GOD. The shitstorm that came out of this really solidifies in my mind why most people on this forum are angry and unintelligent.

I gave a very balanced view, and you didn't like it because it wasn't "red pill" enough, so you resort to ad hominems by calling me a "simp" when I have a track record of defending men's point of view regularly on this forum.

@nastyb (interesting name) didn't like my comment about men being more realistic, when the average man is fine being with the average woman.

I see why there's a dating crisis in the west, because both sides are dumb as a rock.

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb you may have an STD

[ManOnFire]

Alright, so some of what you say is true. Except the cheating part. I want to add to what @Joshydavid25 mentioned is that part of the problem is that so many men of today have given women so much power. I have said this over and over again on GaG, and probably won't stop until guys really get it into their skulls. The only reason women have so much power is because men give it to them - even in the workplace. And this is why a lot of women walk around with attitudes that they are all the shit, can get whoever they want, and think they are in a position to choose. Men give them this power, and in turn women want this to bother men.

However, even this is not entirely men's fault as men have been taught for years by parents and society to put women up on a pedestal, and to do otherwise is "misogynist." You can learn more about this in an old Take I wrote if you care to spend the time Women Got Angry Because Men Started Learning

And yes, you are also lacking some confidence - for whatever your personal reasons are. But doesn't mean your situation is hopeless. It takes work to be appealing, not just to have the guts to go out and ask for a date.

[Katebfun]

IMO- most men are falling behind in a HUGE WAY! not just your generation even older man in their 50's. Some men I have encountered on dating apps or in person are undeveloped man child that is not grounded in his Masculine side.

More men are not going to college, they have less support system, friends and people to open to emotionally. Most men are bi/Gay, but pretend to like women, for use of our bodies only. Most men do not even like women! They like are beauty & bodies so they can use us for their selfish Satisfaction.

Most men are bad at communicating and expressing emotion. Hence the GHOST, Disappear and are not emotionally available.

I realize my TRUTH may TRIGGER some men. It is 100 % my opnion. I know for a fact that I am not alone in my belief.

[Apple1996]

1000% agree with you. a lot of men hate women and are secretly in the closet gay

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 so you know every guy on the planet

[Katebfun]

@Apple1996 😅🤣 Hense why most women are staying Single!!!

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I said a lot not all

[Vegasrunner]

@katebfun Around 35 most men have it figured out and are able to have success w/ women. More women are going to college than men but they are studying useless majors. I doubt most men are bi, but I do agree most men don't like women, except for the use of their bodies. Women don't really provide any value to men outside if sex,

[Katebfun]

@Apple1996 Thanks.. more women are waking up to this sad reality. Men are juts not worth it. Also there ugly inside.

[Shiprex]

@katebfun
Because they rely on the society to provide them with their needs without them giving anything in return. They are not socialised to be capable of being in relationships that they have to GIVE anything to the other or provide the other with their needs

[msc545]

@katebfun "Hence", not "Hense".

[blackeagle007]

@msc545 if it takes two to tangle, women should do their part to put in the relationship. You ladies have these silly demise rally’s, whining how you’re so oppressed etc. look at middle eastern countries. They have zero freedom there. You have as much freedom as men do. All these feminist rally’s do is destroy dating. It’s giving g you the mi feet that men are sex offenders. It’s some dumbass sister hood. Liberalism feminism and conservative as well is the reason. Why people won’t date. You ladies need to look within yourselves. When we approach, we get called creep, and you film us, put it on ticktock. That’s what teens do. Not grown adults.

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 omg someone might call you a creep for acutally acting creepy? How dare they speak the truth 😭

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 no we do approach you normal and you still film. So I think we need to start filming you and put you on the net. It’s women that’s causing issues in dating

[Shiprex]

@katebfun
What would men say about women and their need to express, emote and basically share every sensation with everyone because regulating emotions themselves instead of expecting others to do that for them?

[blackeagle007]

Kate’s probably ugly and a liberal feminist. The type to make false accusations against innocent guys

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I got approached by a man the other day while my husband was right behind me. He dealt with it and called the guy a creep for me so no it ain't always women doing this🤣

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 are there you go. A guy approaching you is automatically a creep. I guess we can no longer approach women. Yet it’s hilarious women complain we no longer go to night clubs and the gym. Hey you told us to stay away from no one’s allowed to date, according to women.

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I'm fine with that. I prefer to do the approaching so not something that bothers me at all. It's creepy when men do it

[Vegasrunner]

@katebfun Have you ever considered that most women are single because they aren't able to attract the men they want?

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996 that's worked for me all through my life and should be the norm but women take initiative like fish ride bicycles

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996 what did this guy do that was creepy? Spoke to you? Or didn't notice you were with someone? What was the CREEP he exhibited?

[blackeagle007]

@Vegasrunner that’s my point too. These ladies all think they can have any guy they want, but real question is… what do they bring to the table?

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 women don't need to bring anything to the table. We aren't providers like men. If you want that then date a man

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996 Admission that women use men for resources?

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex yes I do believe that men are providers. It's in y'all dna to be that way. Some men are feminists and demanding 50/50 tho which I'm just too traditional to get on board with

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 bingo!! Zero accountability!! You ladies feel like everything is owed to you. Not want to prove to a man that you’re a catch. Your recent comment is very pathetic and sad. It shows an entitled princess attitude.

Troll

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 my husband does treat me like a princess 🥲

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 your husband is a simp. If you really have a guy in your life that is. For all I know, you’re single and miserable. We guys should bring something to the table. Women should too. After all, you feminists want equality right? I have a feeling social media is telling you that you’re a perfect catch, you’re owed everything because you just exist. Lol you’re a typical spoiled narrow minded western woman

[Vegasrunner]

@blackeagle007 Women don't bring anything to the table outside sex. Tbh most women know they can't have any guy they want, however their ego isn't going to let them admit that on a public platform. One of the biggest flaws in their thinking is believing that they have some sort of leverage. Leverage always has and always will remain w/ the top percentage of men. A big reason why is because we are the ones that have multiple choices of women and will usually accept all we can handle. This leads to two interesting phenomenon 1. Women typically share the top men.
2. Average men provide less than average women an abundance of attention.
This is why a girl can go on an anonymous forum and claim men to be "creeps" for doing something pretty normal. She only gets attention from average men, and has been used ton of times by top tier men, making her bitter toward men overall.

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I don't believe in equality so thats not me you are talking about. And not social media at all. It's well known in all species that the male has to show off in order to attract a female. Women are valuable because we create life. It's not because we just exist

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 my husband is a simp because he realizes my value? 🤣

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 hahaha. More to that. What personality trailts? Can you offer trust? There’s more to it than existing, entitlement liberal shallow princess

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 everyone has to offer personality. That's not a man or woman, traditional/feminist thing. Maybe some sugar daddies are into the shallow princess thing. I don't know tho

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 lol you’re against equality? You need serious help. Your husband must be super desperate to have you in his life. I feel bad for the guy being married to an entitled feminist.

[blackeagle007]

Face it, you only feel that you’re a catch just by existing. Social media told you that. In the real world it’s different

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 my husband thinks I'm a catch so ill believe him 🤪

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 the poor guy. One day he’ll wake up and realize he can do better

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I birthed 5 kids for him. No I dont think he could find another woman who is willing to do that for him

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 I doubt you have any children

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 and I’m pretty sure u look fat and ugly

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 everyone here has seen me pregnant and my kids 🤣

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 everyone on gag. You’re full of it totally. See you’re another typical liberal feminist. Dosent like being called out but have no problem blaming men for everything. The fact you can give birth does not mean you have high value. Obviously you don’t work. 5 kids and in your in your 20’s still? You ever hear of morning after pill? Try it for once. I think it’s great trumps taking away EBT from women that don’t want to go to work. It’s about time accountability for women. Just purely existing and giving birth doesn’t fly.

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 creating life is the most valuable thing anyone could ever do. And my 5th baby ate that plan b. He didn't give a fuck lol

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 my husband is a provider so its not a issue for money. And it does fly in my family lol every woman in my family is either a stay at home mom or stay at home wife. Shoot my mother/father and brother/sister in law are BOTH stay at home parents to their teenage kids 😂 eventually that's the plan with my husband that we will both stay home

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 that makes you lazy and not to work. Besides, why did you click on follow? I don’t care to know you. I bet you live in a white trash area 😆😆

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I was trying to see how long you've been on here tbh. I don't know if your joking about not seeing me before

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 and I'm working all day. Unpaid labor is still labor

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 still doesn’t count. Try contributing to the world instead of watching days of our lives and eating bon bons.

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 I've contributed 5 humans and thats more than any man could ever contribute to our world

[Apple1996]

@blackeagle007 also so you hate feminist who work yet hate women who are tradtional? It seems like you just hate all women

[blackeagle007]

@Apple1996 you hate all men. You feel masculinity is toxic. I like normal independent women. Not liberal or conservative. Sick of this two party crap. Me too has taught you that men are sex offenders and we aren’t allowed to date women. Me too is the toxic reason why dating is at a low

[Katebfun]

@Vegasrunner Mayve, attract the "Good" man that will be a healthy relationship then yes. Many women can get into a relationship.

[Vegasrunner]

@katebfun Yea. they just can't get into one w/ a man they respect love and admire.

[FreyaRed]

Human ego make us a little bit narcissistic because every of us think their voices are good and right ones and this is most girls over valuate themselves in partner choice. Of course it's different when you're a teen and this the time we are idealistic it's the time you find true love. After that it's practically over. Another factor is supermarket strategy of partner choice, best placed best promoted product will be chosen not the best one.
In brief. We are too old while looking for potential life partner and we are overstimulated with possible options. This is valid for both sexes.

[SotiCoto]

Because in the old days the potential "dating pool" for the average woman was the local men in the village. All any guy had to prove was that he was better than two other guys. Sometimes not even that if all the other guys got married. Options were limited.

These days the "dating pool" for the average women is on the order of MILLIONS of men. More than they could ever meet in a lifetime. And since younger generations are being conditioned by overly coddling parents that they're wonderful and can achieve everything, they set their standards and expectations unrealistically high.
The consequence of that is that over 80% of men are below the standards of over 80% of women... because the women believe they've got essentially millions of men to choose from and since time is a limiting factor, they won't settle for anything less than they believe they deserve... which is usually far more than they could actually get.
In the end they tend to end up used and abused by very attractive men, impregnated, abandoned, and then try to "settle" for men who are still more than they deserve while carrying the entitled princess attitude and believing they're doing those men a great favour for settling for them.

TL;DR: Perceived availability of men and arrogance brought on by bad parenting.

[Shiprex]

Ego

The ego of the new age is the primary guiding factor in relationship attainment. Women have been conditioned through youth, education, media and society to claim to be independent and not need men while ignoring it's that very society that has been created by men to allow them this ability to live off the back of men even in the 21st century.

Men have allowed themselves to be sidelined by society and media (not by women as some would suggest) so they don't rise up and take the power of the ruling classes. It's a distraction tactic that has been put in to create tension between working people so they ignore the root cause of the problem. SOCIETY (feminists INSIST it's patriarchy by ignoring the wives, daughters and female benefactors of the society at the top who are given unearned privilege to all of life's luxuries) has made it Women v Men. It's not wrong to say society has been built on the bones of men through war, construction, building, developing etc., although that detracts from recognising the women who were there in the background doing the behind the scenes work that was essential to KEEP SOCIETY functioning and growing. This is partially dealt with with the feminist movement that brings women to the forefront and into the historical limelight which is more about recognition of contribution.

Why does this make modern dating difficult? Women have been given power that they haven't had historically. What they are doing with this power is choosing to look out for themselves because they aren't willing to GIVE to others what others want. They can live nice comfortable lives with their friends but without the "romance" they demand/desire that a partner would have provided in the romantic past. The age of romanticism is over. It's a mate and move on future which is economically perfect by emotionally dire.

[RingOfFire]

Everyone has challenges in their life. And it's not easy to overlook them. But you get two choices. You can focus on the negative and live a miserable life, or you can focus on the positive and do your best to live a happy life.

No one is dealt a perfect hand.

A suggestion would be to focus on something else such as career at this stage in your life and not so much on romantic relationships. I've known guys that haven't really met the right match until much later in life.

There's no hurry in this. You're at a stage where it's just fine to focus on other things. Make sure you have a good education, find something that you really enjoy doing and build a career out of it.

As to loneliness, that's what friends and socialization is about. There's more to socialization than just the romantic relationships.

Less focus on meeting a girl. I think you will find that it will happen organically at some point when you least expect it. That way you won't have to force it. The right girl will come along and your ability to focus on the positive and on living your best life will make you much more attractive to her.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't view dating as a game, people who do tend to be "bottom of the barrel" in terms of personality, so my advice is work on your ability to experience genuine love and compassion first, see women as people instead of prizes, compatible vs incompatible instead of winning vs losing, and the right fit instead of more vs less. You will never get anywhere treating women like toys in your collection.

I'm attractive, and I've never had to ask a woman out, I always get asked out first because I prefer to wait few years before asking out a female friend to make sure I even like her that way first, and in most cases she is too impatient for that.

Cold approaching a stranger just because she's hot is stupid. You can't possibly want to ask out a person when you know nothing about her.

Anyone who does the cold approach method is going to have a shitty time, either because they get rejected, or because they don't and are now left with whatever mystery person they just signed up for.

Compatibility matters. There is no game, its more like trying to find the specific lock to a key.

[Joshydavid25]

It is a bit more difficult, than it was in the past despite everyone having more "access" and "options".. It's a multi-faceted problem honestly.. It's really a lot of men's fault.. They gave women too much power and bent the knee too far basically giving away their masculinity.. So it's made men more simpy instead of masculine and that in the end turned many women off, despite the fact that they act like they don't like masculinity and strength in a man.. As for the average guy, I see average looking guys with women all the time.. Putting yourself out here, and being manly or at least showing some type of strength gets women..

[Miah06]

Hush the fuss joshy

[Joshydavid25]

@Miah06 *This brotha is fussing of justice* - Malcolm X

[ManOnFire]

@Joshydavid25 Very solid answer.

[Miah06]

No malcom x comments Joshua joshy david davidson

[Joshydavid25]

@Miah06 Sorry, it's already been done Shamiah Miah Miahson..

[Joshydavid25]

@ManOnFire 🫡🫡🫡..

[Miah06]

That made me giggle

[Joshydavid25]

@Miah06 You know what they say about when you can make a girl giggle.. LOL

[Miah06]

That's all they say. Bye *runs aways* lalalalala can't hear you

[Joshydavid25]

@Miah06 Hahaha.. It's okay Run away has the same effect.. 😏..

[Zack-Bann]

It’s hard for everyone of any level of attraction
Even women


The fact is when you’re “average” 9/10 times it’s because you’re lazy and unwilling to work yourself just a little


Going to the gym, fixing your frame
Buying a some well fitting clothes that complement each other
Investing in a high quality perfume (not necessarily very expensive)
Trimming and grooming and all that stuff


If you do it all you’ll land outside of the average category
If you don’t do it then yes you will struggle to attract a woman

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I know that the world is unfair"

Honestly, it's tempting to use your own words to answer your question, because there's so much truth contained in your 7 words, in my eyes.

I don't know what the average man is, nor what the average woman is, and I don't know what this supposedly existing average means to you. There's so many people around, so many different experiences and opinions, is there really an average, who is defining that? I never had any trouble dating, I've loved several women, several loved me. If I look around in my circles, the only one guy with a terrible experience with women is someone not accustomed to the culture around him, also he has to deal with intense psychological difficulties in general.

So... Unfair you said?

Yes, I agree.

[bddddd]

I call bullshit. Women want to find men exactly as much as men want to find women. It's not a dating game, it's real life. If you want better outcomes, be a better person. Don't blame women for your inadequacies.

I very rarely get angry at posts. But your post did it for me.

[Asker]

You can't ignore the what's right in front of you. This post wasn't meant to bash women, it was meant to figure out why they are like that. You are right on that women want to find men and men want to find women but in terms of first contact it's almost always from a man. Since women don't need to approach any man she can just go through her options. It is also funny how you can just discard my experiences like it doesn't exist

[NicholasRedone]

It's also about realistic expectations versus some folks haven't got the life experience or wisdom to realise "I'm not the type of person to get a hot person* lol 😆

[AndrésC64]

It depends on what you mean by "dating." If you mean just getting laid, then I agree with you that it is far far easier for women. It's a supply and demand thing. If you're talking about dating for a relationship, possibly long-term, then I would say that it's still easier for women but not as much as for just getting laid. An average even below average girl can walk into virtually own place and be guaranteed of finding somebody there who will have sex with her. It's certainly not the same for guys. OTOH, I think both average guys and average girls always have higher standards than are realistic.

[Anonymous]

You're not going to want to hear it, but most women are duds plain and simple. Most women today are immature and oversexed. Guys date to secure a partner in general. While women in general date to fill a hole of approval in themselves. Women as result do not think logically. The are primarily lead by thier feelings. This is why love bombing and duping women are the most successful dating tactics for men. If you approach dating logically. If you demonstrate you are a good quality man you're going to fail. Because most women just do not think in those logical terms. They want to be sold a story. Whether that story is true or not is not really relevant.

[Twalli]

There is no benefit to being a "good" man. There's a lot to be gained by being an overall good person. That's how I got a girlfriend, and I'm not a prime physical specimen. I've known several girls who asked me to teach their boyfriends how to treat them the way I treat these girls. They were not even people I was considering dating. Since I treated everyone good, people knew it was who I really was, and eventually a girl decided that she wanted to be treated better than I was treating her, so she started dating me and hasn't let go. That's why we are engaged.

[LiamJHayden]

Average guys tend to either: 1. Come off as desperate or 2. Invest weeks and months working on one girl only to get rejected. Just develop I an "I will col approach till I get a 'Yes' attitude" and do not get negative when you get a bunch of 'No' responses. Just smile and move on. Take 100 swings with that attitude, you are likely to get a few yeses.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

How is this advice going to get a guy a girl he is actually attracted to instead of "A girl", any girl? Guys that want to have a girlfriend and not just some piece of tail to fukk want a specific girl, not just someone.

[NicholasRedone]

@LiamJHayden the smell of desperation is what keeps the stock price of Bumble soaring lol 😂😆

[Reem12345reem]

u need to be more open to receive a woman , ur just blocking them subconsciously, a lot of people find it easy to get a date, the ones who struggle have something in them that's blocking this experience , seeking a relationship and being desperate for being loved is only a reflection of seeking self love from yourself , when i became the best version of myself , i got a lot of dating opportunities but i messed them up bc i stopped working on myself and i lost them , lesson learned lol

[DrPepper12]

I think I see your problem. You keep on saying it's not fair and you identified as average.

Give her something to latch onto make yourself memorable be funny pretty well-dressed smell nice smile be generous have a good story to tell patient try again make yourself vulnerable there's a million different ways to her heart you've just got up people assistance without being creepy

[Vegasrunner]

Good post there's a few answers to your questions, the most obvious, is that it's difficult for average men because society designs it that way. Look at the responses you received to this question. How many people instead of addressing your question directly are attempting to slide the blame to you while ignoring the facts you presented? At least you understand now why HV men are allowed to have multiple women and are in fact celebrated for it.

[OneViewpoint]

Because these men whining about dating are not actually average. They are below average. The bottom of the barrel. But they don't see that in themselves.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

You sound like your describing yourself. Maybe this hits a little bit too close to home.

[OneViewpoint]

@ImalwaysrightOK ,

Sorry incel boy. If that's the best you've got you've answered your own question. You're not average. You're below average. Most women can do better than you.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

@OneViewpoint reported a-hole

[OneViewpoint]

@ImalwaysrightOK ,

Mooooommmmmmyyy!

[msc545]

@ImalwaysrightOK LOL! You actually reported him for disagreeing with you and expect something to happen to him as a result? That is just hilarious!

[OneViewpoint]

@msc545 ,

ROFL, Look at his screen name. im-always-right-ok. Yeah, pretty much screams personality disorder. He just confirmed it. Great advertising for his dating problems.

[msc545]

LOL I know - amazing lack of any insight at all.

[Pohjolan]

It's a combination of multiple factors.

The biggest reason is that there are more single men than women available.

by the way a man being a tall and handsome athlete doesn't necessarily mean that there are women who are relationship material who are interested in him.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Because women once were totally dependent on men, they had to choose the best possible suitor, thus they'd play games to see which man was a good provider. Since the Women's Movement which gave women more freedom in all spheres, it also gave them more ability to choose partners, so they combine old-style sifting through men with today's unwillingness to commit.

[PeachyPie93]

Stop chasing woman out of your league, it will be easier. And you see why men cheat on their wives when they are famous? Why? Just because you made bad decisions with shitty woman doesn't mean woman deserve to be cheated on.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Are you kidding 😂 guys nowadays can't get a girlfriend leagues BELOW him. That was the point of his question. Women who are average thinking only the top 5% of guys are attractive.

[PeachyPie93]

@ImalwaysrightOK If you can't get a girl below you, there is something wrong with you or your personality. That 80% 20% bullshit isn't real, it's just redpill bull shit to make all you lonely guys feel better that the fault doesn't lie with you, but with woman. Most woman will never get a guy making 6 figures because the stats don't add up. So you need to get off the internet and stop believing in that shit made by men who don't know how to get woman. Also if the girl actually is under your league but thinks she deserves someone amazing with the 666 why would you want her anyways? There are normal people out there who would want you, stop using apps and spreading your false narrative.

[beenherebefore]

Because most women have all these expectations with men such as tall, athletic, financially stable etc etc etc. That's why you see average men struggling but once they become successful they can pretty much get any girl they want.

[Nikki1989]

Social media and dating apps have created a hyper-competitive environment, but some men only think it is so hard because that is what they want to believe. It is a defense mechanism tactic.

[BonzoInBitburg]

It's not hard at all if you put some effort into getting better at it.

[strateguy632]

A main change is the attitudes describing men on social media, here and probably facebook etc. Too.

[ProbablyClueless]

Honestly, it's just not that bad.

Average men, for whatever reason, just totally miss the advice and insights that women try to give them.

[Apple1996]

Because most average men have crazy unrealistic standards. They're average but only go for way above average women

[spartan55]

You have that completely backwards.

[Apple1996]

@spartan55 nope average and below average men are only wanting super model women. Even many of them calling real life super models mid. Their standards are out of control to the point of judging women by small things like their eye brows, hair color, skin color, age, weight. Really anything and everything on a woman is judged harshly by men

[spartan55]

No, don't think so... but whstever.

[Apple1996]

@spartan55 its sadly the truth. I see it all the time especially here on the internet. Search up blonde vs brunettes here on gag and see all the men being shallow and judgmental af about a woman's hair color

[spartan55]

@Apple1996
Not me, but maybe because I'm older, who knows.

[Apple1996]

@spartan55 yeah it could be more of a generational thing because guys my age are ridiculous with their standards. Younger/older men aren't as bad

[UgNegroMoe]

I can tell you're full of it

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Because most women are delusional. They are below average, but think they are entitled to a 10 when they're a 3.

[Anonymous]

Because guys barely put in real effort and expect instant or quick gratification. Lack of effort is unattractive so when people are willing and actually do put in real effort, they're skipping you in line so to speak.

[Vegasrunner]

@Anonymous If I understand the question I believe he's saying that men who don't put in effort are the ones who get the woman. I believe most men would agree w/ that.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

@Vegasrunner bingo.

[DawnB]

Because you only think you're average. Have more confidence in yourself

[NYlatefun]

I think the reason is that they lack social skills. 25 or 30 you have been glued to their phones for most of their adult lives. They don’t know how to interact with women. While women are killing it professionally and academically.

[NicholasRedone]

If a person is going to actually date "in reality" and "genuinely" then they should accept they get what they get. 🤳🏻 📱

[NicholasRedone]

After all, at 31 that's my wise owl wisdom otherwise stay single bliss and I enjoy my single bliss.🎥😍 That means instead I can daydream in my heart "my ideal woman has big tits, big arse, slim stomach, pretty face, kind personality" - there ain't much of that on a dating app clean let alone swiping at me lol 😆😂 chuckle chuckle 🤭

[msc545]

Because 80% of women are after the top 20 % of men. If a man is not RICH, over 6 ft tall, and does not have model good looks, he can basically forget dating.

[msc545]

Now you are going to get a lot of women here and many simps telling you how it is the fault of men...

[msc545]

You are better off just paying a prostitute occasionally and getting what you need and want than trying to deal with the average "modern" woman, at least in the US. A prostitute will actually cost you less, and you will have better sex as well.

[Anonymous]

Its not hard. Either your standards are too high for your own good or you dont socialize enough. 90% of the time, its either one of the two reasons.

[jamesgoldman]

By design

I quit long ago I'm ricer an happor then e into

[Anonymous]

I don't know, for me it's even more hard, because I never had a date.

I'm too shy, and unfortunately, most girls aren't dominant enough to take initiative.

[grega239]

Because most women think theyre too good for average.

Stop bothering with them and find other things to do with your life

[IHateBeingaMan]

if i had to guess, men by nature are the more disposable or expendable gender, women are more valuable since eggs are scarce

[TheAutarch]

Personally? Lack of confidence. Confidence in my experience can make up for so many other perceived flaws and makes the good parts of you standout. Be confident!

[DCVsMarvel2]

Money

If you don't have it, you won't be successful, unfortunately

[robocop666]

simple good looking men 2 time so all the women are taken and only want good looking men.

[chocolatetwopointo]

bc they have too high standards

[Renegade_Sailor]

Because most men are fucking boring.

[WonderingManII]

I think this is why MGTOW exists. :(

[Panthero80]

The first problem is you view it as a game.