Should I ask him “what are we” over text or in person?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months now and I wanna ask him if he wants to keep it casual or something more.

Should I ask over text or in person?

Also do guys usually ask or do girls usually ask these type of questions?

[Anonymous]

It’s usually women who ask this. Men tend to just go w the flow. So I’m thinking if you’re already sleeping w him he’s good w whatever the relationship is right now. No title. Chances are though if you said you want to move on, he will get mad. Especially if you start dating another man. Men tend to be that way. We don’t want to put a label on it, maybe an friends with benefits at the least but to us you sort of belong to us, then when you move on we get mad lol not all the time but it happens a lot.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Anyone can ask it's just both genders can be fucking pussies and be too afraid to ask when it comes to this subject. You simply want to know what the relationship status is and possibly want to request an upgrade to that status in a formal matter to make it official. Well... You being a pussy or something? Ask him already. As is... you're going to remain casual which probably means he assumes you're fucking other people when he's not looking anyways. Change that if you want that change.

... just don't be that selfish bitch that only wants this so he'll stop dabbling just so you don't have competition and then you keep flirting on the side and have a whole lineup of dripping dicks if he says or does the wrong thing.

Oh... do it either way... it doesn't really fucking matter. Over text you'll at least have his statement of commitment or rejection in text and you can screen shot that shit for use down the line.

[HollyK21]

I would ask in person, that way you can gauge his response in real time. Through text gives him time to think about the “perfect” or “best” thing to say, which can be disingenuous depending on what’s said.

[DishLady]

In person. Imagine waking up and seeing a text saying "what are we"?

[Summeroflove]

I mean it’s a bad thing to not know. Definitely ask it may be easier in person where you can talk directly.

But you don’t want to be on different pages with one another and just assume that you’re on the same one

[Avicenna]

Thatch’s something you definitely want to ask in person because body language is so important.

[AviatorTom]

In person discussions are always preferred.

[Alex_Bright]

Hello,

Asking it in person is more mature. In generally, keep texts for practicalities and have real conversations in real life. Usually the one who is most interested will ask. Absolutely do, it's better to know.

All the best,
Alex

[TrimmedTip]

Ask in person.
Why? Tone gets lost in texts. His reaction (hesitation, eye contact, body language) tells you way more than typed words.
How? Keep it casual but clear: ‘I’m not overthinking this, but are we heading toward boyfriend/girlfriend, or keeping it light?’
Who Asks?
Tradition says women ‘hint,’ men ‘define’—but that’s outdated. If you need clarity, ask. Better than waiting on his timeline.

[OneViewpoint]

Face to face. You'll want to read his voice inflections, eye contact, body language, as well as his words in the moment not a carefully crafted and edited response over text.

And either person can ask. But it's usually women who worry about wasting their time. Most men will happily cruise along on auto pilot forever unless you slap them upside the head. We just don't feel time pressure like women do.

[abc3643]

That stuff is always done in person because nonverbal communication is critical in this instance. He will tell you more by his expressions than he can with his words.

Word of advice: Texting is the best way there is to miscommunicate.

[Nikki1989]

How is this even a question?

In person!

[EzraIsShy76028]

Usually the answer would be in person.

However. If it's someone you KNOW won't take it well. Someone you KNOW might potentially get violent even. Then just text.

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

I would say, in person. I want to see the reaction on their face. Does he look terrified, has a nervous smile, or a big smile like a relief that you asked?

[Ask105]

In person if its over text he can have the prefect answer and i don't even text women anymore in person everything or phone call

[EmmaMary]

I've never asked such a thing in my life... And if I did, then it would be directly in person.

[jazzy34]

Don't ask him at all. Take the ambiguity as your answer. When a guy is serious about you, you won't have to ask.

[spartan55]

Hmmmm... seems like most people are saying the same thing I did...🙄

[Malemajor]

In person. Text does not carry 70% of the communication that has to be read on the face !

[Malemajor]

And in this age of post me too world. Unless girls ask out, you could miss out on the opportunity. Many men this generation are afraid to reach out to women out of fear of retaliation. Look at the responses from three feminists for my other true story and you will know. would another guy open up even anonymously after the saw what I have to experience for sharing my pain seeking solace?

Modern feminists ruined romance for your generation. Unfortunately, It's your turn to open up first now !

[slatyb]

Ask him in person what he wants from the relationship. You should have asked two months ago.

[WhitneySnow]

In person. Usually girls ask. Guys hate these questions,

[Makeushiver]

If that's your photo, you are way too hot for him and would be much better served bt contacting me.

[genericname85]

what problem are you trying to solve by asking that question?

[MannMitAntworten]

Face to face.


Both sexes pretty much ask. It isn’t exclusively a guy or gal thing.

[noohair]

If you want it to continue, do it in person. Texts are like an email. Would you like to get an email?

[JohnnyB123321]

Person for sure. You need to see body language in that type of convo

[blackeagle007]

In person. Texts, emails, telegrams etc are meaningless

[Danny_dan92]

Whatever your heart tells you

[qwerty2469]

If you have to ask. The answer is, nothing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think you should.

[cavedweller1973]

You should ask him what’s up

[dudeinohio]

Either works

[Jamie05rhs]

Ask in person.

[Wise4myage]

Always in person.

[Abdulw]

Ask him yeah