Is there less competition in real life than on dating apps?

[Anonymous]

Over the app, he is comparing you to a million other girls. He's talking to 3 girls all at once. In real life, he is only talking to you, at the moment.

[MrOracle]

Not only is there less competition, other, more important things are also true.

In person, you know he (or she) is a real person who exists and not some catfish or AI creation. If this person is tall or short or fat or thin or whatever, you can see it for yourself. There are no lying profiles or beauty filters or strategic camera angles to fool you. And it's harder to get away with lies about your lifestyle.

Even more importantly, chances are high that this person lives locally to you, while the vast majority of the people online are not.

Finally, you can observe how they act in public and around other people, which is often very revealing of who they are and what their values are.

So, while the NUMBER of people you will meet this way is far lower than a dating app, the quality of the encounter is infinitely higher and far more legitimate, even if you immediately disqualify them.

Dating apps are largely a waste of time unless you are only looking for casual sex, or what you can get in trade for casual sex.

[MikeMcMansion]

In real life 98% of men don’t care what other men look like, and in fields and jobs dominated by men the competition isn't about height or how well your jawline is and how good your hairline is. We care about results, now physical fitness definitely does matter in a lot of out jobs but so much the aesthetics, its about grit and mental toughness. We don’t stand for showboats flexing all of the time on their peers, a little sure but not all the damned time. We do some hazing, and we give the male model lookalikes a lot of extra shit.

The competition is just different. Online for women its youth plus looks plus height (+\- wealth points) and when they are late 20s+ its looks plus height plus wealth (+\- age points). Those factors put 95% of men out of that “competition” by default, no point to even enter that tournament, its a humiliation ritual, masochistic and\or retarded.

I have no idea how women “compete” it depends on their goals marriage or just some quick D. A 4 can get an 8 for a night or two, so how they compete would be filters and make up? Being easy or being chaste and honest and elegant (but those women are inundated with thousands and thousands of options) so asking people out irl is best for women and men in my opinion

[bobalife]

No…. Modern dating has created more opportunities for people to explore all their options in-person, dating apps, or social media. I definitely hear a lot of people gettin together more through meeting social media these days.
I know people on here tend to say guys barely get matches… but from my past dating experiences… if you want an attractive guy with good personalities… he definitely would have matches and lots of options. But if you met him in-person, there’s a slight higher chance for you because you get to meet, connect, and build memories or a good foundation if things go well.
At the end of the day, don’t mind about the “competition” and just focus on who you are and what you’re looking for. The right person will choose you just as you would choose them. Have fun dating and goodluck girl :)

[MontBlanc]

Yes, dating apps amplify competition. You’re compared instantly, mostly on looks, which creates a ranking mindset.

In real life, attraction unfolds through presence, personality, and shared moments. You’re not just a profile, you’re an experience.

Competition doesn’t disappear.
It just becomes less visible and more about alignment than options.

[ohsheeT]

This is why girls need to start taking the time to look in to the guys eyes listen to his words. But at the same time listen to what he is not saying.. dating apps your 100% right. In person is the way i like to meet someone. Even on line but not a dating app. There are guys and girls on gag that talk about dating 2.3.4 guys at a time. I have to friends on dating apps. They dont care about dating anyone because its a new girl every night they say its a meet market. . so the best thing any girl can do is learn how to read guys its very easy

[OlderAndWiser]

So you think the only way you can get a guy is if he doesn't see your competition? But eventually, he will see other girls, even if he met you through a mutual friend. . . so what happens then?

[Rangers]

In real life, people talk, in online dating, people just ignore eachother.

That's the long and short of it. That's not to say you can't find love online, but it's considerably harder and I once read that most of us, the person we'll end up marrying is within a few miles of where we sleep every day.

Really thought provoking, makes you wonder which random girl I randomly chatted with near me will end up being with me, cause I've seen a few more than once within my age range.

Meaning statistically if I do get married within the next few years, odds are high that it could be one of them. Makes me even more eager to get myself ready for relationships.

Makes sense, considering most of us live around large population centers. Makes me think about how many of 2,500-4,000 people within 1 square mile of my bedroom are girls, single, quiet and shy, and like a quiet and shy guy...

Even if just 1% of girls like me, odds are, I wouldn't have to travel very far to find love, and neither do any of you. But if you find love, hold onto it, don't let it go for stupid reasons like the idea that since they're not close, you're not good for eachother

[Adam_INTJ]

Depends on context. If he's the bold kind of guy who will cold approach you, he's got other options. Too many guys are shy dweebs and won't ask girls out. So one guy who approaches girls every now and then will have many numbers in his phone because most girls hate the apps and are desperate for some guy to validate them.

If it was a blind date, maybe not. If you met through friends, probably not.

On apps, he gets a match maybe six times a year, and 4 of them are scammers and fake accounts. So apps actually have less competition on the girl's side. They should honestly be regulated by gambling laws because they're designed to get guys to pay for a chance to connect with the 2% of real female users that exist.

I don't get this desire to be immediately exclusive. You found someone who tickles your fancy and you think you're obviously the right person for him and he now needs to swear off other girls after a date? Get over yourself. That's just narcissistic. Embrace the competition. Not everyone is meant for each other, and it will take many different dates to figure out who is right.

[madhatters4]

i think it's not about the quantity of people on the app but the fact that EVERYONE in the app is competition while not everyone in real life is competition. in real life a significant part of population aren't looking to date for various reasons and therefore are not competition

[Asker]

the apps are like a catalogue. in real life, you get to know the person one on one, at least for the night.

[madhatters4]

the app is like seeing the person at the bar right? you get a visual of them. but at least on the app you get some accompanying info. the first date, or texting prior to meeting the person is the part of introducing yourself to the person you met at the bar right?

i think each has its merit. i know plenty of people who met and have successful relationships in both.

[Asker]

At the bar, you can't talk to 3 girls at once.

[Asker]

I mean technically you can talk to 3 girl at once but way more chance of one on one at the bar

[madhatters4]

perhaps but every talk is one on one at the time it occurs. the guy at the bar can turn and then chat up another girl... i've certainly seen this and doen this myself. probably rather common to chat up more than one person (obviously not simultaneously).

if you've had bad experiences w/ dating apps i try not to let that entirely shape your view. i'd say the same to those who've had bad experience IRL approaching people (including myself)
both can have their advantages and disadvantages. the reality the competition is more or less out there regardless of the method

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

There is competition for those believing they're competing against others?

There are thousands of faces on dating apps, but if they're not meaningful, and they never were to me, then it's not competition I'm looking at, it's just a catalog, just absurdity manifested.

[MissSunshine2]

I'd say yes, but I'd advise that if you want to build something potentially lasting with a man, to focus on becoming his friend first, but immediately make it clear that you're interested in something serious later. The good guys that really like you will stick around. Those that don't will disappear.

[Miristheiss]

Yes.

In real life you kind of get to know people a little bit. Friends setting friends up. Friends of family.

Apps? Superficial as hell.

You pass on 100 people that could be good matches because you are only picking the most flashy ones.

Doomed to fail.

And get ran through.

[jshm2]

LOL, the opposite. He's probably got 4 girls to see that day and he's thinking about his previous one, while talking to you...

The reality is that everyone is competing for something. You're probably not worth competing for if you're getting nothing.

[Alex-Snow]

Good question. I have fortunately never needed to use dating apps (fingers crossed) but I think IRL is less competitive and one gets to see body language, a smile etc. I know I'm a Gen Z and many my age use apps but maybe I'm the weird one who prefers real convo IRL or at least on social or video chat. What have been your experiences with boyfriends, dating, sex in IRl or on apps?

[Nikki1989]

There are more and better options in the real world. Quality people don't need or use dating apps.

[Asker]

How do you know this?

[Anonymous]

Atm😆 what about the 5 other girls he running simultaneously? Do you plant one corn stalk? No, you plant an entire row. Because not all will grow, will grow healthy, or ironically put out, or put out on the same schedule.

This actually probably less competition online. But online it's like a box of chocolates. You never know what ya gonna get.

[Anonymous]

i'd imagine some girls get way less interest in real life than on those aps , cause like even an average girls gets swamped with requests on those but in real life she might not even get approached by a guy in an average day

[Asker]

most girls don't get much interest in real life anyway. And often times, if she does get interest, its just a pervert looking to get laid. The good nice guys don't tend to hit on women.

[Asker]

I get checked out about once or twice a year. Often times the guys are too afraid to approach. Only perverts or players approach

[MikeTheBartender]

It's funny cuz back in the day guys were nervous to approach a girl at a bar, but now if you approach a girl at a bar you are competing with so many less people than her Instagram, her Tinder etc.

[Jammannn]

You must be going after men who are completely out of your league. Even an average women has 20-30x more options than an average man. Men outnumber you 3-1 on tinder. Perhaps don't base everything off looks?

[Pohjolan]

Its contextual. Online there are more guys than girls but girls making a move on a guy are even rarer.

If you are not obese, not mean and take care of basic hygiene then you shouldn't have issues getting dates either way.

[serious]

That is a good question. Maybe you are right, there might be less competition in real life dating.

[queenofcardio]

There's competition in real life too. He could still be talking to multiple people.

[ABitShattered]

I'm pretty sure apps vastly favor women. But in my experience I haven't had trouble so much with competition as finding the right women to be with. I have a good one though

[In_Trance]

There's probably more competition in real life. There's a good portion of the profiles on dating sites that are spammers and bots

[Anonymous]

It's like seeing the stock market back on the trading floors 80s style yikes 😬😳 📉📈📉📈
The competition lol 😆 what a sweat 😅

[Anonymous]

That isn't true for most guys. These apps are mostly a waste of time.

[LiamJHayden]

Usually. In person it can be one-on-one without 500 profiles pulling her attention.

[CuriousMufuxka]

What he believes to be 3 girls haha. Fuck apps, just approach and ask is my motto.

[DishLady]

Nope.

[Hopeless30]

Dating apps is scam