Does not dating feel empowering or does it feel like giving up?

[coachTanthony]

empowering

giving up

something else

[Finchie40]

I can only speak for myself , I have been dating but I am in no rush to jump into a serious relationship with anyone at this time , considering I just got out of a long term relationship/ marriage , so I am choosing to be single and enjoying my freedom to do what I want to do , and not answering to nobody. I do eventually want to settle down again but I am trying to play my cards better this time around , before I make another bad decision. It seems the girls’ I meet today are in no rush as well , so it kind of works out. I t takes time to really get to know someone and to see if you both truly have a real connection instead of infatuation. The one girl I am dating now just got out of a long term relationship as well so she is on the same page as me about taking our time , but so far so good

[ohsheeT]

People say on here that they give up they are mad because things are not working right for them

But we , none of us are made to give up on anything , you have to figure out what's going on with you and why things are happening that they're happening and change it

I mean, I haven't dated for 4 years. And i'm ready to now but I also know that there's a couple things that I have to take care of first just so I feel at ease, and in a way that kind of empowers me because I know I'm taking care of what I have to take care of before I can do anything make it right with me. To be the person I want to be , and everything is stress free even tho there is no stress it's just having everything in order kind of worried about it. We'll work out that's guaranteed

[Wodens_Apprentice]

You're in your 40's. Your generation has no idea what it's like to deal with women whoae standards were shaped by the internet they grew up with so you can shut up about anything dating relating because you'll never get it, yet older men will continue to mock today's virgins despite the fact it's more your generations fault women have become so entitled today than ours.

[ohsheeT]

So do you have a question for me..

First of all, let me start out by saying\nThe best part about you is that you are you?\nAnd you blame other people or whatever it is , whatever reason you're not

Best part about me is I am happy in that world that you're talking about, I have no idea where that is or what you're talking about, because see, for my generation to this generation, women are strong, confident, empowered, they are smart. They are wise.
They don't get shaped , they shape themselves , they're independent , they know what they want , and they go and they get it

This old man does not mock. Anybody does not point his finger at anybody , except for maybe people like you I don't know what you're talking about
Instead of pointing your finger because you're angry that you can't get a date. Why don't you take a good look at yourself first and then go from there.\nYou're hanging around the wrong women
.
Cause I know no woman, that is entitled that has been shaped Especially from the internet, women are 10 times smarter than that. I have also never meant the type of woman that you're talking about , because the type of women that I know have morals , values and ethics , they have insight , they have goals they have passion, they have strength. They have wisdom and when they want something they go out and they get it\n Not because they're entitled\n it's because they are leaders not followers. I have never meant the type of woman like that before. , hard-working confident. Knows what it takes to get what they want. Yes. You know hard work drive.. Motivation, independence.



But if you have a question for me, I'll be happy to answer for you.

But to be honest it kind of sounds like you are the one that has been shaped and molded by the internet

[DishLady]

It's not particularly empowering, and I wouldn't call it "giving up" either bc if the right person comes along then great. Giving up is basically when you close the door and let yourself go; empowering is when you get off on telling people "i don't date because..." and get into it.

I'm not bolting the door shut, but I'm also not seeing anything worth the effort at this time.

[MissSunshine2]

It feels like giving up, admitting defeat. Unless I have a good reason for temporarily giving up, like prioritising an education or a career first, finding somewhere to live. Now isn't always the best time to date someone. Also, I am at an age where I don't believe in the point of dating unless there's someone I feel is worthy of my time and body.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

As you're about to be in your 40's you'll soon start experiencing what it's like for the average guy in his 20's-30's being single. You should've been less picky with your men when you were younger which is no doubt why you like cat's so much now as a replacement child.

[MissSunshine2]

@Wodens_Apprentice you’re never too old to find someone. Until you’re dead.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

But the quality of your pool of choice in men is going to severely decrease. So you have any children? Because you don't have long left & I'm saying this for your sake. Living the degenerate modern lifestyles we lived is pointless & doesn't satisfy those who want meaning. Having children is how you feel you've accomplished something because then you get to pass your very life & soul down to a future generation rather than just turn to ashes or dirt when you die.

[MissSunshine2]

@Wodens_Apprentice I don’t want kids and I think I might’ve found someone 🙂👍

[Wodens_Apprentice]

@MissSunshine2
Not having children? Big mistake. You won't feel fulfilled at the end of your life. It's time to stop partying & working that soulless job for something more fulfilling.

[Chazmatazz269]

Yes. Ell oh ell! When pretty much the whole of society tells you that your responsibility is to let a woman select you to be her provider for herself and her kids, regardless of your thoughts and feelings on the status quo or the woman herself, giving up is absolutely empowering.
Most people are too chicken sh*t to challenge societal and cultural norms. I wouldn’t care if i was the first and last man on Earth to walk away. I am my own man and i refuse to be anybody’s b*tch.

[OlderAndWiser]

When I was single, I never considered not dating. Even when I was not interested in a LTR, dating provided companionship and closeness that I could not get elsewhere. And online dating made it incredibly easy!

[coachTanthony]

Online dating was king back then

[OlderAndWiser]

It was great in 2020, the last time I used it.

[coachTanthony]

i think it will always be good for us older folk its the young people who have to deal with the crazy only fan girls and prostitots

[OlderAndWiser]

I think the younger folks also put very little thought in to their profiles, then wonder why they attract the wrong people.

[Rangers]

It's giving up mostly or in my case, recognizing i need to get myself squared away first.

I'm doing much better but I'm eating herrings out of cans to build my immune system. I have a long way to go.

That said, if I do find a connection despite my focus on self improvement, I will pursue it for sure.

But until then, I need to grow up and act my age, take care of my body and make myself into a good, put together, respectable man. Cause right now the only respectable thing about me is that I'm making positive changes every day. That's not enough yet, but I'll get there. I've had beautiful girlfriends when I was a total nothing-Burger.

I bet once I'm put together, I'll get a lot of smiles at clubs and I'll have just the company I need in my life. I'll be quite a catch, and the woman I end up with will be very happy, so will I

[Master_Debator]

I don't really care. I can step out my front door right now and find some pussy to fuck. Sorry to the bros that might have to hit the gym first before it's that easy... not my problem.

Not dating is literally just not dealing with extra bullshit. Given that choice... put your mind into the mind of some dude that just got off from his 15 hour shift after 8 days stright with a Monday night off. You want to drink some beers and play BF6 or deal with a woman's shit tests? I'm not going to condem that young man for choosing to chill instead of adding drama to his life. I feel the same about chicks that make similar choices to watch werewolf and vampire movies and flick the bean instead of going out on a date. Yeah you fuckers are not hooking up... but I'm a werewolf and half vampire... not my problem.

[nastyb]

listen, if dating isn't working out for you anywhere and everywhere you go., You need to self evaluate about the reason behind it.

Is it your location? certain locations are harder to date than others such as NYC.

Is it your looks? is it your lack of personality? is it the fact you aren't social enough? you rarely ever get out into your community? are your standards too high for your own good?

there is a reason why some people succeed in dating while others can't.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

Again incredibly easy for a woman in her 20's to start criticising men who can't get a girlfriend. What you're ignoring is whilst all your reasons might be true, women have such atrociously high standards thanks to the internet these days that even your average dude doesn't stand a chance anymore. You women don't actually care about how it's making us feel because you benefit from it.
I'm 6'4'', blonde & broad, good jawline, yet women never went for me because they'd always go for the guy who acts like a complete clown.

[nastyb]

@Wodens_Apprentice

If all the women you meet have High standards then it means you are only interested in young Good looking women. Fat, older women don't tend to have high standards.

What I have noticed is that men tend to lack the most self awareness. They just like to complain, throw temper tantrums and project when they don't get their way

If all the women you want have high standards then it means your standards are too high

Her standards are high only when she can afford to have high standards

The ugly girl in the corner would he happy even if an ugly guy showed any interest into her

[Wodens_Apprentice]

Again as a tall guy in his mid 20's I never would've been a virgin before people started using internet (made worse with the phone). Can you really blame these men who have to spend years of decades living a humiliation ritual where even the uglier & less desirable girls tend to lose their virginity a lot because of the wide pool of simps the internet has to offer.
No it's not my fault, it's scientifically proven women will target me who they perceived to be above the social hierarchy than themselves. That's actually an instinct they naturally have that worked well before the internet.
These desperate horny simps who will validate everything a woman says to appear as the nice guy are often these low standard men who will happily put up with the humiliation of being cucked to wait their turn for her.
For men who aren't weirdo redditors or they have everything they need (tall, good genetics, a good salary, alpha personality, and high physical fitness, even missing one is very bad) they're expected to just sit in silence & whither away or sell their soul & start looksmaxing like a prostitute.
Trust me it's not equal for me & women. And so what if I do have high standards?
It'd only make me a hypocrite, not wrong.
Besides our high standards, which can mostly be achieved by self improvement, is nowhere near as hard to achieve as women's standards.

[nastyb]

@Wodens_Apprentice

Listen mam, if you are attractive guy who can't get any girls, there is something wrong with you

I know guys as short as 5'4 with wives and kids

[Wodens_Apprentice]

Those little men will have been beta male orbiters who waited their turn for an unattractive woman. Such a relationship will never be stable & satisfying.
The only thing wrong with me is that I'm autistic & that's enough to lock me out any chance of finding someone.

[nastyb]

@Wodens_Apprentice

well if you are autistic, then maybe thats YOUR problem.

maybe you lack social skills...
maybe you have trouble talking to others...

you can't blame women for that.

I know of dead broke, short guys who have wives and kids.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

Not really a me problem if I'm self aware of my issues & addresses them. The trouble is the rest of society is my problem & that's why I should be complaining. In fact I should be caving men's skulls in & taking off with their women as that's what autistic outcasts like me did throughout most of history.

[Anonymous]

It feels like giving up, but it also feels empowering in the sense that giving up a bad habit feels empowering. But also it's an admission that you cannot control the habit and that it controlled you. I've given up dating because it's destructive for me. It gets it brings me no pleasure and it worries me all the time while I'm doing it that I'm doing something self-destructive. I've dated for many years and although I've received intermittent pleasure from it, it has also cost me emotionally and financially far too much and it is left me bereft in so many ways. The person that wrote this question is a dating coach who makes his money by encouraging men to spend their time here and their money trying to talk women into having sex with them. I find this demeaning and disgusting. I want no part of this any more.

[Miristheiss]

Dating? A stupid, idiotic, failed modern lie.

Peoe always courted with intent to marry.

This concept of going "out" to just have fun, possibly sex, not giving any serious thought to compatibility and family and life goals just "feelings". Goof off and have sex for a year then think about long term. Date 10, 20, 30 people.

That is a 20th century thing... . bring on divorce frenzy, abortions, vd, out of wedlock kids.

Freaking disaster.

[sage2021]

I took a complete break from dating for one entire year and boy did I feel empowered.🙂

[NathanDavis]

neither... but I've never really "dated around"

either I was in a relationship for years and happily, or I was single and more than okay with it

[AngryCarl3]

This question confused me. I read it as "Doesn't dating feel empowering?" and I thought "Yes, it does."

Because dating is a choice, but not dating is your default state, at least for most men.

[Anonymous]

It's better to be secure within yourself, not desperate... just go with the flow... don't push it. People respond to those who are completely happy in their own skin.

[CherryLove007]

It feels neutral🍒

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Little bit of both I guess

[Pohjolan]

Does not golfing feel empowering or does it feel like giving up?

[Fireguy17]

It feels exactly like not dating

[LC75LC71]

For me neither. I had those years already.

[exitseven]

It is simply retreating.

[Imjustagirl1520]

Nothing special