Too shy and nervous to kiss. What should I do?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I have had guys interested in me and I have been on some dates. But I think the guys might get confused by my actions... when ever a guy has tried to kiss me I get too nervous and embarrassed and I shy away from them. So they probably think I'm not interested. How can I get over this? I get so shy. Especially if they try to kiss me in a public place... and I'm worried I will do it wrong or he will try take things too far.

im also too shy to dance.. I always get asked to dance and I say no every time... guys must think I'm rejecting them but the truth is I'm just too shy. what should I do? I want a boyfriend but every time someone is intereted in me I do something to put them off... just because I'm so shy and inexperienced.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well your last three worries contradict.

    You could try to kiss in private, not public, but the odds of things 'trying to go too far' are much higher in private.

    Don't worry about doing it wrong. Guys don't care much how you kiss, just how enthusiastic you are.

    If you pulled away from a kiss, I probably wouldn't ask you out a second time (were I single, etc).

    I hate to tell you, but by second or third date they'd be trying more then kissing when you get over this hurdle.

    • well I am embarrassed to do it in public because I don't want anyone to see me. I'm nervous to do it in private because I don't want him to try take it too far. And I'm worried to do it because I won't know how to.

      I don't want to do pashing or french kissing, just a peck on the lips, but then he will probaly think I don't like him that much, and I think the first date is too soon!

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    • wont he think I'm weird if I tell him I'm a 21 year old girl who has never even kissed? it will prob freak him out, and he will think there must be something wrong with me.

    • Possibly, but that's actually better then him thinking you just don't like him. If he thinks (correctly) that you're unusual, he might work through it. If he just thinks you don't like him, he'll move on and not look back.

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What Guys Said 4

  • err maybe you can talk about it to them? like if someone tries to kiss you and you shy away then you should explain it afterward that it's too fast for you so they don't misunderstand. As for dancing if you still feel like dancing with him then you can go to the dance floor and start dancing around him.

  • if you have never kissed at your age, it is much worse if you are a guy

  • I'm 25 and I didn't have my first kiss until about a month ago. My girlfriend was in the same boat as me, and she is 21. Granted, it took a lot for us to get over the initial shyness, but all it took was plenty of communication about the matter. Talk to the guy and explain. If he's worth your time, he will understand and take it at your pace.

    • Sounds like an awkward chat! I'd be too embarrassed to talk about it.

  • Drink some alcohol and ease into it that way when your sober it will be easier to do.

    • I won't even kiss if I'm drunk. I have tried it.

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    • there are herbs and teas that make you less nervous look up kava kava, chamomile, lemon balm ,and many others give those a try I use them with success.

    • thanks, but nothing really works... I have tried things like that before. I do calm down a bit but not enough. I just feel stupid and like I won't know how, so I shouldn't even try :/

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