Have you ever had a crush on your boyfriend/girlfriend's best friend?

I have a crush on my boyfriend's best friend (Let's call him J). All three of us (J, me, my boyfriend) hang out a lot together and I've gotten to know J pretty well. I drunkenly texted J at a party a few weeks ago suggesting that my boyfriend, J and I all have some fun together. He seemed interested in hooking up with me with my boyfriend's permission. But my I broke up with my boyfriend for about a week and now he cares for me too much to ever share me with J.

Last night, after mini golfing with my boyfriend, J and some of my boyfriend's other friends, we were hanging out at a friend's apartment and J randomly left. So my boyfriend and I went home separately because my boyfriend had to be up early. I couldn't sleep, and J texted me saying that he left because he didn't like some of the people at the apartment. We kept texting for 2 hours about random things, and eventually got into talking about how we're both bad with relationships, our insomnia, etc.

J then sent me a text and said he was walking by my house, and if I wanted to chill we could. So we took a walk and talked, went to get some food and ended up talking for 4 hours and staying up until after 7am. My boyfriend, as far as I know, doesn't know J and I hung out alone.

I just feel torn because I like my boyfriend a lot, but I also am attracted to his best friend J who I can never have. J knows that he could never do anything with me because he would never betray his best friend and it just makes me sad.

I think that J likes me too though because he tries to make me laugh, I see him look at me a lot, he notices little things about me, etc. And awhile back, he asked if I wanted to chill with him and some of our mutual friends, but I told him I had no makeup on and was in PJs, so I'd rather not give him nightmares. He replied that I didn't need makeup and asked if I ever realized that maybe he'd like to see me without makeup.
Have you ever had a crush on your boyfriend/girlfriend's best friend?
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