What is going on? No call after great second date.

Hi there and thanks in advance for your replies.

I met this guy online and after exchaning just two emails he phoned and asked to meet. I thought we had a great meeting, he did not take his eyes off me for a moment. Then I did not hear from him for 4 days. Then I sent him an email and he called... we talked about meeting again but did not agree on a specific date. Did not hear again for about a week. Then I emailed again and he phoned same day and asked me out for a second date.

We had our second date 4 days ago. I thought it went well.. he picked me up, we had dinner at a great restaurant, chatting was smooth and we laughed a lot. He did not take his eyes off me again for a second... he touched my arm on the way to the car and he kissed me before we said goodnight.

He emailed ver briefly next day, wishing me good luck on my exam and he talked about shopping clothes for himself. However, he did not mention our meeting the previous night that he had a great time or nothing regarding looking forward to speaking to me or seeing me again... So I emailed back that I had a great time with him. Then he emailed again that he had a great time as well and that we "can" talk again after my exam (which was yesterday). I have not heard anything since...

What do you think? I am concerned that he will disappear now forever...

OK...so here is more to the story.. I am 17 years younger than him. I cannot believe that he would not be interested... he also said that he did not date for about 5 years due to a list of personal problems (which he shared with me) and that he just started to meet women for the last one year or so. During those 5 years he was depressed.

I understand that I sent the emails first, but he phoned within a few hours every time... to me that shows interest. I did not phone him not once.
I just don't understand why he flirted and kissed if he wanted nothing.. It is just despicable. He knows I am super busy between a full time job and my studies, have no family etc. How can someone be so heartless to play with someone vulnerable. I told him I am only looking for serious relationship.
I also do not understand why he would not send a one line email telling me that he thinks we are not a good match. If I meet someone in person and I don't like them, I always do that. Unless the person lied to me (e.g. He is separated although his profile shows he is divorced).

After two dates and a kiss one would think you would get that level of respect.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay, I'm going to give you my honest opinion. I'm in your age bracket so I understand the whole online and dating thing. You should have never emailed him. Whatever you do at the beginning sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. Do you really wanna be chasing him for dates? Sorry but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's just the way it is. I hate to wait for a phone call, text or an email but the last thing I'd ever want to do is to initiate everything. The man needs to pursue and "hunt"...you may disagree but that's just the way it is. Okay so what do now? Completely let it go! Date others and forget about him. Let him pursue you. If he doesn't come after you, he's not that into you. In the future, remember patience is key. I know I hate waiting too but it's always sweeter when they initiate and they always appreciate you so much more. Otherwise you will always have to chase him...do you really want that?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • So email him and ask him if he wants a second date. DUH. This is like the 20th "ZOMG no contact for xxxx days after first date!" thread I've read today. L2Communicate.

  • If he was into you, he'd be making an effort to see you. It sounds like he's currently playing the field, and is expending his effort on what he feels are better options.

    If I were you, I'd let it go and move on.

    • Your update doesn't change anything. If he was into you, he'd be making an effort to see you. That you are 17 years his junior has no bearing on this fact.

    • "I also do not understand why he would not send a one line email telling me that he thinks we are not a good match."

      Many people have no qualms about stringing someone along, just in case something else that they're pursuing doesn't work out. You met him on a dating site, so he's probably seeing a few other women, and you're clearly not at the top of his list of priorities.

      Still, he doesn't want to burn that bridge yet.

What Girls Said 1

  • He's not interested...move on...guys usually know they have to keep it going and he hasn't, the girl shouldn't have to initiate. Move on sorry!

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