Why do guys suck at texting?

[Anonymous]

Dating this guy and he has never been a good texter... I know he is into me but it's like pulling teeth to try to get him to communicate with me when we aren't together.

I am one of those people that likes to talk to the people who are important in my life. I guess he isn't the same, but it doesn't make sense to me...

If you are dating a girl and you really like her... why do some men suck at communicating with her?

[PonyCar]

Communication is necessary, but not a big priority for guys.

The way females view communication:

- A way to gain intimacy

- A way to strengthen the bond between two people

- Used for comfort or celebration

- A hobby (or way to pass the time)

The way males view communication:

- A way to gain necessary information

Think about it- guys don't just call each other to talk about how their day has been going. They don't go cry on each others' shoulders when they've had a breakup or have just lost their jobs. It's just not how they deal with things (generally speaking).

I agree w/abzence. It's unfair to say someone is bad at something just because their qualifications (for being good at it) are different. It's like saying females are bad at being highly competitive at sports. It's not that we suck at being competitive, the drive just isn't there.

That being said, if you do text him w/a NEED to discuss necessary info, or you really NEED to talk because something's upsetting you, and he doesn't get back to you, THAT is grounds for sucking at communication. Good relationships require that both peoples' needs are met. Wants (such as what you describe above) are preferential.

[Asker]

If I could do two best answers, I would do yours and Abzence's. He is great about answering quickly and setting up plans and in the past when we have had to have a difficult conversation about things that are bothering us, he opens up and communicates even though I can tell it's hard for him. Thank you for giving me this perspective on things :)

[Darkfairie17]

It doesn't make sense to me either. Guys, if you love your girl, text her once in a while! It's not hard and it shows her you care.

Obviously you don't have to text her constantly, but even just a "Good morning Sunshine :)" text can make a girl's day all that brighter.

I think if you are having a lot of issues with this, you need to talk to your guy. Let him know you need more communication. He might not even realize that there is a problem.

[abzence]

Well, many guys would agree that this question could easily be asked about girls and say "Why do girls feel the need to talk all the time and usually just want to talk for the sake of talking?"

I understand that many women feel that talking is a way to strengthen the relationship and intimacy. Many guys don't feel this way. For a guy to want to communicate he usually want there to be a point or purpose for the communication. Not just talking for the sake of talking... or like some guys would define it.. gossip.

It's not really fair to say that guys suck at communication because we usually have different needs than you. It would be like us asking why you are so clingy and need to talk all the time.

Talking all the time isn't always a sign that you care. Even though most girls feel that way.

[MikeK]

Best answer.

[Asker]

I would agree. Most of our texting is strictly functional, like what time our plans are and what we are doing. We see each other a lot so there is really no need to text that much. I guess I just want to know that he is thinking of me. I'm a romantic and I try to be thoughtful, and it would be nice for a change for someone to do that for me. Thank you for your answer.

[aMuse]

Probably because you're not all that interesting... Sorry, but the fact is if the conversations hit on stuff he thought was interesting there would be a lot more communication going on. A lack of compatibility leads to lack of communication. He likely just has nothing to share with you. He'll get in touch with you when he wants to set up a date, and then go on the date and rehash the same convo he had with you before, give you small updates on things in his life, let you blab on about some stuff he doesn't really care about and throw in a bunch of mmm hmmms.

[Asker]

I highly doubt it. When we are in person, we can't shut up... every single one of our dates has lasted 6-7 hours because we talk so much. That could be a reason why we don't talk when we don't see each other because we really cover it when we are together. He also has a crappy phone with T9 texting (like super old school) and he said that it plays a big deal on communication because he hates texting on that specific phone.

[attractiveontarioguy]

Either he doesn't get the rules or he's trying feebly to play hard to get or he isn't much of a tester. Not saying you are, but us guys hate when a chick ALWaYs texts, meaningless stuff

[Asker]

Yeah, I get that... but it's not always meaningless stuff. Most of our texting is functional, but there are random times where I'm like, "Dude! the girl that sits right next to me in class just puked in the middle of class!" lol Ya know, silly things that make you smile.

[Anonymous]

How much do you call or text him? You say you know he is into you, but does he know that you are into him? Would you prefer that you both text each other the same amount, or would you prefer that he do all the texting?

[Asker]

He knows I am into him... I text him about every other day, but we also see each other alot. Most of texting and communication is functional, like what time our plans are and what we are doing.

[MikeK]

I've never understood why women are so hot for texting...

Women LOVE dialogue...

The way men are visually inclined - women are auditory inclined. So why look at a bunch of stupid words on a screen when you can speak and her each others' voice?

[Anonymous]

Its not about sucking at it.

its about HATING it.

Just f***ing call.

I REFUSE to text. Id rather be punched in the god damn face.

[Asker]

Thats funny that you say that because most guys nowadays HATE talking on the phone and prefer to text.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's because their p******. and they are afraid to say something bad.

With text you have time to think about what you're going to say.

I don't have a problem with that because I just don't give a f***.

[Asker]

Maybe, my guy friends just hate it because it is so time consuming mainly.

[Opinion Owner]

Seriously those buttons suck. If it were an actual keyboard then fine.

Id rather email than text.

[TheOutlaw]

Some just don't care much at all and don't even put forth an effort, while some on the other hand will go the extra mile. It just depends. But if a guy doesn't really take his time in communication, he really isn't worth it.

[Anonymous]

What kind of a service plan does he have on his phone? Does he have to pay for every text sent and received? Yes, some guys can be cheap with money.

[Opinion Owner]

And some people can be pissed at their phone carriers for scamming so much money just for text messages.

[Anonymous]

It's because guys do not get a buzz of dopamine when they text, and girls do.

[CreativeJustToKnow]

Because guys don't like to text. It isn't me at all.

[Anonymous]

If I'm with a girl, I rather call. I just think texting is so f**king boring.