Is it normal for guys to pull back after the third date? If so,under what circumstances would you pull back?

[Anonymous]

I went out with a guy three times and he hasn't initiated anything since.I'm assuming he is uninterested (which I can't get why because I am awesome ;) ),but...I DO know that in the beginning I let him chase me so to speak.Initially he suggested hanging out and I agreed.Then he too way too long to get back to me so I told him I lost interest.He strongly suggested we should go out,so I finally accepted.He mainly initiated communication,and set up two of the dates.He asked me out a couple of times in between these dates,but I couldn't go since I had other plans.I heard from him the day after our third date,and then silence.I decided to text him,and it didn't seem like he wanted to talk,but yet he included some type of wink (flirtatious) in his message.Anyway,HE hasn't initiated contact for a week now.And I haven't messaged him either for 4 days now.I don't deal well with game playing...so I end up disappearing as well.

Your thoughts?Is this normal guy behavior,or...maybe he is just moving along?

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this, but I also can see why he pulled back. Instead of wondering that much, why don't you text him and find out? To me , it appears that you are also playing the ping pong game although you think you have all the excuses of why you had turned down the offers and etc. Not in any negative way, but he could think that it is you who is playing the game (although I think he would come up with some lame excuses why he had not contacted for the first two weeks).

[Anonymous]

he lost interest but I do think you contributed, sounds like you sent some mixed signals

[Asker]

I met him through an online site,and he took way to long to get back to me.(Almost two weeks after I agreed to meet him).I told him that I had lost interest in meeting him,and I even EXPLAINED why I felt that way.He understood,and insisted we should meet.We met,hit it off and went out a total of 3 times.There were days he wanted to hang out,but I had to work,and told him so.He understood.The last date was fun,went to his place to listen to records,and I think he thought he was going to get laid.

[aMuse]

You don't deal well with game playing huh? So then why tell him your not interested, make him chase you, and cancel dates? That's like a 3 strikes and your out of disinterest. He most likely figures other women would be a better investment of time.

[Asker]

Muse,I think you need to reread what said.I have NEVER cancelled a date with him.I said that he asked me out within the three dates that we have had (so he wanted to hang out and I couldn't because I had to WORK.) Basically,I had to turn down those offers.So what are you talking about?In the beginning I told him I was NOT interested because he took almost two week to get back to me after I agreed to go on a date with him.To me,that equates to a lack of interest.So,I TOLD him exactly that.

[Asker]

And that is exactly when he insisted that we actually go out.Someone who acts like that definitely needs to prove their interest to me since I was so open with my interest...hence me saying I'm not into playing games.

[aMuse]

You sound like a lost cause from a guys perspective. Hearing "I'm not interested" at the start is like an uphill battle, like he needs to make it up to you before he even started. Even if you didn't cancel the dates, and you had legitimate reasons for not accepting the invitation, if you didn't right then and there propose an alternative date time, then it just comes off like you are making excuses to not date him, or are so uninterested that you are not willing to make time for him.

[aMuse]

The fact that it happened over and over again in a row, kind of drives the nails into the coffin,

[Asker]

Haha...I don't think you are are understanding the situation,but thanks for taking the time to respond.But your not getting it...goodday.

[aMuse]

I suppose you should try rewriting it then, because I read what you wrote. It seemed to be in English...

[Asker]

I agree. It is in English and you still don't get it.too bad. Whatever. Next.

[Asker]

And by the way,ur assuming that I never rescheduled with him because I DID.So your response makes no sense.Not only was I apologetic,but we rescheduled.So,there is no...uphill battle.But then again,maybe I should have included more information...

[aMuse]

Yeah I assumed, that why I was careful to use the word IF but I guess you missed out on that word back in first grade. It's cool

[Asker]

Whatever.Wrong assessment.

[aMuse]

I can see why he pulled back now. =D

[Asker]

Haha whatever.Your opinion is invalid,so nevermind.But its good that you got your three points.You're commenting on what you don't know,so its an uneducated opinion.Take care.