Why would a guy say I never meant anything to him when clearly I did?

[Anonymous]

So I am living abroad, and I met this guy and had a one night stand which I thought would go nowhere beyond that one great night, because he was also international and going home in three days. We exchanged numbers as like an appreciation type thing but never used them. Two weeks later he finds me in the same backpacker bar and has a giant life confessional to me that he is actually a local and had made up the being international thing because he was meeting up with friends and didn't want to be the only local. I didn't mind at all, but I also didn't hook up with him that night because I needed to process it all. We ended up texting massive d&m convos for the next couple of days before I just didn't text him to initiate it one morning because I didn't want to bother him. The next time I saw him, he was clearly crazy about me and was sad that I had stopped texting him (hello he had the ability to text too but I digress) we ended up having longer talks and going back to his... He was clearly really into me and loaned me clothes so I didn't have to do the walk of shame in my previous nights attire. I told him I would give them to his best friend (who already knew we ha hooked up) because he happened to work in a shop next to where I live. When I said that he got all puppy like and said "no just give them to me when I see you again" to which I got all smiley and said "really? You want to see me again." And he said "definitely". Mean while some things happened back at home and I had to book a flight home in about a week. I texted him to ask him if we could meet up sometime soon because I had to leave he responded with "why I only met you twice" to which I was just like never mind then I'm going home so it really doesn't matter all that much and then he tells me he got a new girlfriend and that we just had casual sex and all of a sudden I think I mean something to him... I just want to know why a guy would say something like that when he tried so hard to make himself mean something to me and I'm going home anyway... Wouldn't it have just been easier to feign busyness until I left? I'm not really upset about loosing him (since I knew that was coming anyway) as I am just plain hurt...

[Anonymous]

when a guy is rejected, much like a girl, we tend to lash out because it makes us feel better about ourselves. its an unfortunate thing but sometimes that's just what happens...you just have to pick yourself up and get back out there...they're not worth your time...writing questions like this

[Asker]

makes lots of sense and I was really just curious because he really took a lot of effort to attack me after all that effort to convince me to make it not just a one night stand... I didn't mean to outright reject him, I had no choice but to go home really, but I guess he didn't see it that way :/

thanks for the insight though he is being refiled back into the "fun memory" section of my brain (which was where he was anyway for most of the time I knew him anyway)

[Opinion Owner]

if he lashed out t you, why would he be a "fun memory". wouldn't that be for the "stay away from" part

[Asker]

The original hookup is a fun memory and actually a really funny and a moment of self actualization in my life and what I want out of life (much longer story). That memory had nothing to do with him as a person, but rather as for me as a person and I don't think the fact that he came back and then freaked out should ruin that... I feel like because of that I can keep him a happy memory for what he symbolized at first. That doesn't mean I would ever having anything to do with him again though ;)

[Opinion Owner]

I think you would

[Asker]

Haha oh hunny I'm sure you have fond memories of middle school, but would you ever go and enroll yourself again? ;) no especially after what happened I would definitely never try to relive it... To be honest what he represented when I first hooked up with him was that I didn't need a relationship because I'm happy being me... At the time my gfs from back home were all getting married and looking down on me for choosing education/career/world discovery above marriage and children :)

[Opinion Owner]

if I had to choose to go back, I would...I hate my lfe right now, it was so much simpler back then

[Asker]

Omg I'm so sorry what's wrong? Guess that was a bad example then lol... But you know what I mean. I'm taking the experience for what it's worth and only using it to move forward, but I'm not stupid enough to seek out someone who so treated me so carelessly

[Opinion Owner]

I just miss it is all

[Asker]

Haha well your middle school must have been a lot better than mine ;)

[Opinion Owner]

not necessarily better...just a better time

[Asker]

Haha yea that's what I meant lol

[Deft_maiden]

He was suffering from PMS.. Jk

He sounds very immature and doesn't know how to properly say goodbye.

Don't fret over it. Like you said it wasn't meant to Be any more than a one night thing.

[Asker]

Haha thanks it totally sounded like PMS to me too... I did really genuinely like him and thought he was a great guy (even was planning on trying to stay in touch after I went home) but on the other hand I always knew he had a bit of growing up to do... I just feel awful now even though I felt amazing after every time I've seen him despite the fact that I always thoughtI would probably never see him again... Thanks again for the support!

[Deft_maiden]

No worries. You will be fine. I. The future if you are going to have a one night thing just keep it there. Close the door on other possibilities. It helps keep things straight in your head. :)

[Asker]

You are so right! I should have never listened to him! I knew what I was doing when I started, but he felt the need to push for more... He should probably become an actor cause he faked it pretty well! Ironically I didn't even need him to tell me he wanted to see me again. I just would prefer not to be told that I'm obsessive and silly for listening to what he said on a basic level...

[Deft_maiden]

Yup.. Forget about him already.. :)

[Asker]

Haha already refiled away into the "fun" memory section of my brain :) thanks so much for you advice!