After seeing the rave reviews of my first Take, 5 Hilarious Yet Inappropriate Things Parents Have Said To Me, A Teacher, I decided to do a part 2 and, not only that, but I’m also going to do it without the anonymous cover. Why? Well, because I want everyone to know it was me! That, and I just don’t care if my employers find out.
So here you go. 5 more hilariously inappropriate things parents have said to me, a teacher.
1. “I don’t give a f*** about your damn test, I wanted to talk to my daughter!”
This happened last year when I had sophomores, and, surprisingly enough, it was actually with one of my students who is very quiet, does well in my class, and had good grades. But we all know no one is an angel the entire time, and, of course, my little darling not only left her phone on loud, but then answered it and talked on it in class during a test to her mom.
The student got mad when I tried to confiscate the phone and stormed out of my room. She then tried to reenter when her conversation with her mother was over, but I had locked the door, as is custom with my classroom rules. After banging on my door for several minutes, she leaves.
Now, at this point, I think it’s all good. But then…then my desk phone reasons. And I answer. “Hello, Ms. ------ room.”
Next thing I know, I’m getting an earful of curse words and foul language. It was the mom calling me names and yelling at me for locking her daughter out. I then informed her mom that she’ll also be getting a zero on her test worth 75 points. The phone then filled with more curse words and name calling.
I told her that she should not call her daughter during class time, especially since the class was taking a test and the call was not only at an inappropriate time, but it disrupted my other 30 kids. That’s when she said it. “I don’t give a fuck about your damn test, I wanted to talk to my daughter!”
I hung up in her face. I learned after my first year of teaching I can do that and be fine. And, yes, her daughter still got a zero on her test. Funny enough, her daughter actually came back and apologized the next day, but the mom still hates me.
2. “I can’t afford to get him supplies. Why don’t you just buy them?"
This one was the third week of school this year with my sophomores. I had a student, who is no longer in my class, who was acting out and removed several times. I called home to mom several times with no answer. All of sudden one day, I got a call from my principal that a parent wanted to speak with me. So, I grab my binder with student work and grades, information forms, and notepad and my phone and head downstairs to the conference room.
First, the parent lied to my principal. She told him that I had scheduled the conference (when I didn’t) so that she could talk to me in person. When she confronted her son about the many voicemails I left her, he told her what I looked like, my age, that I didn’t know what I was doing it because I’m a new teacher, and even the other teachers didn’t respect me because I look like a teenager. I’m 5’3, 26 years old, and in my 4th year. I may be new, but bad behavior is bad behavior.
She claims that I wasn’t teaching (even though I was as I always do) and that her son was bored. I told her that he never brings anything, not even a pencil or sheet of paper. Keep in mind, I teach LANGUAGE ARTS, so that stuff is pretty important and thus why he was bored and never did anything in my room. Because he wasn’t prepared!
And, I kid you not, this lady turns to me and asks, “Why don’t you have those things for the kids? What kind of teacher are you?”
I told her it wasn’t my job to get his supplies and asked her why he was unable to get them on his own. “Well, obviously I can’t afford to get him supplies. Why don’t you just buy them? You make more than me!”
Yeah…story of my life…and, no, I’m not making this up.
3. “I don’t read everything I sign. No one does. What kind of English teacher doesn’t know that?”
I’ll keep this short. This happened last year with my sophomores. Remember in number 2 where I mentioned my binder with information forms? Well, that form is for student information and parent contact numbers with a place for parents to tell me of anything that may help me teach their child: Allergies, vision problems, health issues, mental health, financial situation, etc. and at the bottom, a parent signature is required. Underneath the signature I wrote: **This syllabus and/or class is subject to change in accordance with the needs of the class and/or instructor.
Pretty simple, right? Wrong. This parent gets mad at me because I change the bathroom rule in my class. I originally allowed to students to go whenever they wanted during class as long as it wasn’t during the first or last 10 minutes of class, as per building rules. Well, the principal changed the rule and said no bathroom passes, period. So I changed my rule of course.
Woman’s daughter text her mother and told her I wouldn’t give her a bathroom pass because I changed the rule. The mother calls me and tells me I’m not allowed to change rules once I implement them, which, you know, LOL. I told her I could because it was in my syllabus and she said she didn’t read my syllabus.
Now, I tell this woman I have the information form she signed and she confirmed she signed it. I told her it was attached to the syllabus and read out loud to her what it said at the bottom.
She says to me, “I don’t read everything I sign. No one does. What kind of English teacher doesn’t know that? If everyone read everything, we wouldn’t need YOU!”
Yeah, I know, I don’t understand that argument, either.
4. “I don’t even know why you reported my kid. My son was doing that kid a favor. Maybe that kid shouldn’t be a p****.”
This one actually isn’t as funny, mostly because it was directed towards one my students, not necessarily me. And it happened during my second year teaching with my Juniors. See, I had a fight in my classroom and, needless to say, one of my kids got their ass beat. Why? Well, the kid who got beat up was trying to fit in with the other boys in my room and started ‘grilling’ someone. This kid is socially awkward and didn’t have many friends but wanted to fit in with the boys that were picking on him, so when he told another kid that he must’ve stolen his new Jordan shoes because he couldn’t even afford to shop at a thrift store, insanity ensued and the kid got messed up. He didn’t even try to fight back and just curled up in a fetal position until security got to my room.
The dad of the aggressive student then called me because I wrote him up but not the kid who got beat. I told him I couldn’t write up the other kid because he didn’t initiate the fight and he didn’t fight back. I can’t write up a kid who literally didn’t fight. If he had thrown a punch, then I could have. He told me that wasn’t fair and I told him, according to our building rules, it was very fair and his son should not have started a fight.
He tells me, “I mean, for real though, I don’t even know why you reported my kid. My son was doing that kid a favor. Maybe that kid shouldn’t be a pussy.”
I hung up the phone. I don’t have time to talk about a student to someone elses parent. Control your kid and maybe he wouldn’t have gotten a 10 day suspension.
5. “The reason he looks tired all the time is because he’s high. He smokes weed all day, and, frankly, I don’t see why he should stop.”
This was, again, last year with one of my sophomores. Kid was as sweet as can be, really, he was. Never had a problem with him to this day. But he rarely came to school and when he did, all he did was sleep or just stare blankly at the wall. So when parent/teacher conferences came about, I asked his grandfather why he was like that.
That’s when he said it. “Well, he’s home by himself a lot because I got things I’m doing. So I guess the reason he looks tired all the time is because he’s high.” I tell him that it’s getting in the way of his schoolwork and that if he keeps missing school just to smoke weed, he’d end up repeating the 10th grade for no reason. I mean, this kid was really smart. REALLY smart. Like, should be in advanced classes smart. But he was always high!
His grandfather then says, “What’s wrong with him staying home? It makes him happy.” I repeat what I said about him failing his classes. That’s when his grandfather finishes his statement, “Look, that’s what he likes. He smoke weed all day, and, frankly, I don’t see why he should stop.”
That’s that TEACHER LIFE right there!
Parents can be so funny….not.