Boss is flirting with me, what do I do?

Question

I just started this job and my boss is already talking about training me to be assistant manager, and when he gets his promotion he wants me to be a general manager.

That's a really great opportunity but I don't like his not so casual flirtations.

Examples; oh and he says all this while joking around trying to make it seem more light-hearted but I still don't like it at all and I think it's disrespectful.

"I hope you and your boyfriend break up"

"I almost didn't hire you because of how pretty you were and I didn't want you to be a distraction for me"

"I like being very open and honest but there are some things that I'm thinking about you that I have to bite my tongue before I say them"

"Your boyfriend is a lucky man"

"I find you so extremely attractive"

He's married too...

I'm a very loyal person and I would never pretend to show interest just so I could get a promotion but I'm scared if I speak up instead of just smiling and nodding then he'll take it out on me.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

that's just sexual harassment at the work place...

chances are there will no promotion either, he'll just get whatever he can get and then probably find ways to fire you or worse, make you quit...

the best would be to resign, because based an all those things he keeps saying... sounds like he has done it many times before and got away with it obviously, so... why waste your time

unfortunately, this is common at many places, and you have little to win... you could report but companies do nothing about it usually, they will always protect themselves and their reputations first... even if they back you up, it will be just a grueling task

if anything, maybe you should resign to his supervisor, or other bosses, and claim sexual harassment as the reason

Rikastin · Accepted Answer

Telling him strictly and honestly that this is not ok and you're not interested is the step one. It seems that you already did this and it not only worked but also revealed his insecure nature and caused him shame. So everything should be fine for now. He's under your foot.

Step two is to talk with HR.

Step three is to forward his messages thus causing him more shame. There simply is no point doing that dangerous and unethical move before trying clear and confident talk. Men respect that.

I have no clue of the order in which these actions have taken place but this is the best formula. If none works, go find a new job. It's awful to work in a prescence of a person who refuses to respect you and your boundaries.

olzart · Accepted Answer

MAJOR RED FLGS!!! I would genuinely recommend that you start a paper trail…. & if you have the opportunity to always have some present when you are around him I’d use it. This is something you need to make HR aware of or someone above his head aware of asap because if things go south you want to be able to protect yourself.

What he is doing is very wrong & if you don’t set boundaries now it will only get worse.

Wishing you the best of luck my dear!

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

I bet he has a long history of short time staff.

Do you feel it is worth the effort?

Every single time he makes those comments counter with something to the effect of ‘I’d like to keep focus on the job itself.’ ‘I’ll be keeping the conversation professional, thank you.’ Keep countering, but professionally.

It’s not worth putting up with creepy bosses.

Guardian45 · Answer

YIKES!😳😬😖 You're in a sticky situation! My gut instinct is to tell you to quietly find a new job and leave. Sooner or later, I hate to say, I think he's going to become problematic and you're going to have to manhandle him. You need to be on your toes, that he doesn't corner you alone.

ALPHABLACK · Answer

Well you are a women you have a SUPER POWER it's called women protection laws

Ofcourse you can file 2000000 cases on him and the world won't stop until he commit suicide, that's the easiest thing to do in fact a large number of women are doing the same all around the world and I think it's a good thing

I mean seriously it's 7 billion plus and we really need to cut out that slack

es20490446e · Answer

"I hope you and your boyfriend break up"
> "Keep hopping"

"I almost didn't hire you because of how pretty you were and I didn't want you to be a distraction for me"
> "Don't worry, it will go away when you get to know me better"

"I like being very open and honest but there are some things that I'm thinking about you that I have to bite my tongue before I say them"
> "That is solved by improving your marriage"

"Your boyfriend is a lucky man"
> "The only lucky man around"

"I find you so extremely attractive"
> "Not as much as my boyfriend"

BlueScorpio · Answer

Tell him to stop with this behavior or he will be reported for sexual harassment. His wife will also be notified as well. Once you say that, he should stop.. if not report him.

menina · Answer

This is a serious situation. I can imagine how uncomfortable you are. You should talk to someone, maybe to his boss. This behavior isn't right and he's crossing a limit.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Girl he likes you and it is so obvious. Report that creep to human resources. That is harassment right there. Eww hell no.

Staximus · Answer

I read your update. I was going to tell you to draw a hard line and tell him "let's keep it strictly professional, stop trying to butter me up", but it sounds like you already fried his ass like chicken. Good job.

Summeroflove · Answer

It’s highly inappropriate. Tell your boyfriend he’s making these comments. Also, yes. You need to speak up.

This is why he does it. Because he gets away when it evidently. But. Eventually someone needs to put a stop to it.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

tell his boss. when he is fired you won't have to worry about it anymore. you dont need him to become mangaement

RiseofArtemis · Answer

And this is why women and men can't Work in the same place. Work segregation should be normal. As women distract men too much.

Juxtapose · Answer

I second @jamesshinobi, go above him. Best of luck.. oh and his wife might be an angle too.

DiegoO · Answer

Just say have a boyfriend or that you're seen someone. If he doesn't respect that, he's taking the risk of being accused of sexual harassment. Know your rights, that's all I can say.

Shy_Steve · Answer

I think you should tell people about him especially HR or People that can do something.

driven159 · Answer

that is what a HR department is for and if he takes it out on you then you have HR to back you up

maximumpower · Answer

Thinly veiled sexual harassment. If it bothers you (and it should), go to h. r.

lorenzomichael · Answer

If you find him attractive then do him. Then bring his ass up on charges.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

HR and document everything.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Man, to be flirting with a 100 year old… something must be wrong with him.

JoyGirl · Answer

HR  Asap, girl. 💅🏾

goodgirlsteven · Answer

find a new job quick

Boss is flirting with me, what do I do?

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