He is 50 and I’m 30.
Firstly I really him. A LOT. That’s why I’m here. He has a girlfriend and I’ve never ever acted on my feelings towards him. I would never do that but just wanted to see other peoples thoughts..
We get on extremely well and always have done over the years.
The past year we have got a lot closer, we talk more about personal stuff and he started texting me, he followed me on all my social media and we are good friends.
We have so much in common and I think he is brilliant.
However he has started to become extremely flirty during this time and it keeps getting more intense…
- he’s told me he finds me attractive, has called me sexy at work, has said I wear sexy outfits, has made comments about clothes I wear and mentioned the way I look in photos I post of myself
- he’s asked me how I’m single and how I don’t have a boyfriend
- he’s made one comment about my boobs and said they looked amazing in a photo
- he’s very touchy feely, every time we talk at work he finds a way to touch me, he bangs into me, leans very close, touches my hands
- other people have work have even mentioned his behaviour to me and I just play dumb
- I see him looking over at me a lot and I’m guilty for doing it to him too…it’s very awkward
- I’ve seen him look down my blouse before and he even said sorry because he knew I saw him
- a colleague sent me a photo she took of me and him at our Christmas party and in the photo he was all over me and she text me asking what was going on
- he has never mentioned his girlfriend to me…I only found out he had a girlfriend because his manager told me he was off work with covid and that he got it from his girlfriend. So I mentioned it to him one day and he got slightly angry at me for saying ‘I heard you got covid from your girlfriend how are you feeling?’
He went in a funny mood with me.
I feel horrible having feelings for him and I would NEVER act on it. I feel so confused by all this. I’m not stupid and I feel like an idiot.
I would not pursue. This man has a partner that he hasn’t even cared to mention, and is incessantly flirting with you. To me, that would be a big red flag because how else do you think your relationship with him would go if you were with him? If it’s good enough for her, it is good enough for you and you shouldn’t sign yourself up for trust issues and insecurity. I understand you have a crush but please leave it at that. Lonely or not there are just too many men out there who aren’t taken and won’t crack the door to cheat on you with someone else.
Thank you! I’m just really sad and confused about the whole thing. It’s really hard being around him everyday when feeling like this.
I could imagine, that’s why I think another job would be so helpful with moving on. When opting to stay, I know it’s because of him, but ask yourself why, on a deeper level. He’s unavailable, and even what he’s doing now is deceitful to his partner, so what sort of relationship would you gain if you were to date, you know?