Should I report my manager to HR?

Question

My manager is a new guy. He started working there shortly after I got there. At first he seemed like an okay guy, however, he started to become really flirtatious with a coworker ( I’ll call her Jade) . He’s been rubbing her shoulders, resting his arm on her head, calling her his “pet” and he puts his foot on the back of her knee to try to make her fall when she’s carrying trays. We’re in such a small space, I’m always right there when he’s doing it and so is everyone else. Yesterday my coworkers and I were talking and I mentioned how he makes me uncomfortable because of what he’s doing to Jade and everyone agreed. It makes them really uncomfortable too ! I found out that she’s really bothered by it but she’s too scared to say anything. She’s really sweet and I understand why she doesn’t want to say anything.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I had a similar situation at work involving one of my staff members whom rumors were swirling that he was harassing some of the female employees. We'd never had any such cases as everyone was friends with everyone, went to uni together, that type of stuff. Everyone was sort of scared to come forward and speak out and a lot of the male staffers especially didn't want to just out right accuse another male staffer because of the implications, but the rumors kept going on. Since no one would say what the hell was going on, I went to HR anyway. The least that could happen was that it was noted on file that I said something and the most was that this person would be fired. I never wanted to be in a situation where I didn't at the very least say what was happening. Anyway, they investigated, someone actually did come forward, and the guy was fired immediately. A lot of the female staff then started reporting what he'd actually done and it was so frustrating that it took as long as it did to say something, but we still have this culture where people think they will be fired for being harassed or they just don't feel comfortable speaking out, but being in the power position at the top, I guess, it is easier to just say, this is XYZ.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

I would cut off any behavior by saying “I’d really like to keep this a working and professional relationship, please.” Up the volume each “correction”. It’s tell him to back off, shining a bright light of what he is doing wrong and not giving him a way to turn it around on his prey.

Makeushiver · Accepted Answer

If it's not happening to you I wouldn't touch it. You might mention to your colleague that you are willing to be a witness on her behalf is she wants to do anything about it but I wouldn't make it my problem unless that applies if just unwanted flirting but #1 make sure it's unwanted. I have had women supervisors who have flirted with me and I didn't mid it. I understand that it is different for a woman. I'd suggest tp your colleague to jeep a journal of what happened, when and who may have witnessed it. Having something you can reference as far as times band places gives a lot more credibility. If she does try that she shouldn't tell anyone at work about it Make an offer to be a witness for her and then leave it alone unless he starts doing the same with you

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I really think you should speak to Jade in the first place...

because if anyone is the victim, that would be her... and then, starting something would make her the target

the douchebag already targeting her, HR will want to speak with her, the bosses... the company will make her all the focus and not him the idiot

it is very usual for companies to target the victim instead of the perpetrator, they will want the victim to prove that is actually true, she will be questioned and doubted even, because it is also usual for the companies to protect themselves first

they very rarely favor the victim right away so at the very least, you should speak with her instead of all you teaming up and probably going against her will

Bricealan · Answer

Keep notes, write everything down, dates, times, what was said and done at the time.

She should tell the moron that he is making her uncomfortable, and 'please stop" what he is doing.

What kind of business are you in? Build a case and go to HR.

shesrad · Answer

yes report him, sometimes we have to be a voice for others unfort and maybe if you speak up she will as well, goodluck!

ZenJen444 · Answer

So has Jade this has made her uncomfortable or are you guys just uncomfortable for her? I wouldn't speak on her behalf because what if they are having relations after work or have some type of arrangement? You could report on your behalf how he makes you uncomfortable I'd he did something to you but I wouldn't put someone on blast like that without their permission. I'd personally mind my business

DizzyDesii · Answer

This is the job you wanna quit right? May as well say soemthing on your way out

Dez_37_46 · Answer

Yes, you should say something. To many people don’t stand up anymore.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would report him to HR, he could cause her to really get hurt

Whatthefluff · Answer

What kind of industry is this? This would be considered sexual harassment and it seems Jade feels threatened so this is a major problem. You should definitely report this.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Take some video so no one is forced to come forward and send it anonymously to the CEO of the company.

the_sinner · Answer

A collective report to the HR would be a strong move. Post reporting everyone needs to motivate and uplift Jane so that she doesn’t get disheartened or afraid if someone tries to threaten her.

Summeroflove · Answer

Ask her how she feels about it. If she is uncomfortable then say something. If not. Then let her deal with it.  all in all if something really bothers you. Say something.

77five · Answer

I personally wouldn't do anything if its not happening to me. Its up to her to report it. She knows everyone will back her up (i assume) so I wouldn't report him.

qwert1234 · Answer

You can. But prepare for a backlash, just in case. Oh and HR's are there not to protect the employees, they are there to protect the company. No matter what their "role" are.

TheLittleInnocent · Answer

I think should report him but maybe tell Jade first.

KelleyNice · Answer

It is probably not as you describe. However, if it is report the situation.

888theGreat · Answer

video tape it with your phone , then do it. You will have visual proof then

Anonymous · Answer

Don't intervene or lose your own job. Jade needs to handle i t so try and convince her. He would find out and get rid of you somehow. Not worth it. Just a perv.

Alex8736 · Answer

In your employee handbook is there a phone number for ethics where it's a neutral party that investigates and the complaint can be submitted anonymously?

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

I would absolutely report him to HR, that is NOT behavior that should be tolerated!

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes report him , if Jade said she doesn’t like it then that’s your answer to report him

DiegoO · Answer

I honestly would snap with those managers and would prefer to renounce if I saw no other alternative between renouncing and smack the s* out of him.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

That's a tough one because he's a superior. But I always think discuss things with the person first, before you go snitching on them.

loveslongnails · Answer

You should ALL go to HR and file a complaint as a group.

Subarugirl · Answer

Yeah you should, if he is making you uncomfortable then report it. Its HR's job to deal with it.

Jennz6 · Answer

This is very difficult, I usually don’t get involved.

Jenny-Marie · Answer

I would have thought that either individually or as a group, speak to him. If that fails, then make it official.

maximumpower · Answer

Let JADE worry about it. Unless you know the WHOLE story, keep your nose out of it.

Anonymous · Answer

Best thing to do is confront the guy directly with or without a few co-workers and if that doesn't work then inform the boss

Staximus · Answer

Yes. Sometimes you should stand up for people who are afraid to stand up for themselves

TacticalLizard · Answer

Wouldn’t do any good he’s a manager there not going to listen to you

TallAnon · Answer

I would encourage you to have your colleague speak out about it instead.

jimmy2 · Answer

Well everyone one needs to sign a letter and send it to HR

Anonymous · Answer

Let Jade be the one reporting it herself if she truly feels it needs to be reported.

Blackcosmo · Answer

Yes you should.

Pyrofox · Answer

I wouldn't HR's aren't made for the employee.

hellfirec · Answer

Collect some evidences and report that ass asap

macjets007 · Answer

100% report it. Fuck this dude lol

EaterPeter · Answer

Please do so. Don't do it by yourself.

legalboxers · Answer

to HR.. and the news

KrakenAttackin · Answer

This guy is an idiot.

userxvi · Answer

help a sister out!

rip999 · Answer

Report him.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Obviously

RavVid · Answer

Yeah report it.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

Yes you should

OddBeMe · Answer

Yes.

BLP11520 · Answer

Turn him in

eagle1951 · Answer

yes of course

Anonymous · Answer

yes ofc wow!!

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