Should I report my manager to HR?

[Pink2000]

My manager is a new guy. He started working there shortly after I got there. At first he seemed like an okay guy, however, he started to become really flirtatious with a coworker ( I’ll call her Jade) . He’s been rubbing her shoulders, resting his arm on her head, calling her his “pet” and he puts his foot on the back of her knee to try to make her fall when she’s carrying trays. We’re in such a small space, I’m always right there when he’s doing it and so is everyone else. Yesterday my coworkers and I were talking and I mentioned how he makes me uncomfortable because of what he’s doing to Jade and everyone agreed. It makes them really uncomfortable too ! I found out that she’s really bothered by it but she’s too scared to say anything. She’s really sweet and I understand why she doesn’t want to say anything.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation at work involving one of my staff members whom rumors were swirling that he was harassing some of the female employees. We'd never had any such cases as everyone was friends with everyone, went to uni together, that type of stuff. Everyone was sort of scared to come forward and speak out and a lot of the male staffers especially didn't want to just out right accuse another male staffer because of the implications, but the rumors kept going on. Since no one would say what the hell was going on, I went to HR anyway. The least that could happen was that it was noted on file that I said something and the most was that this person would be fired. I never wanted to be in a situation where I didn't at the very least say what was happening. Anyway, they investigated, someone actually did come forward, and the guy was fired immediately. A lot of the female staff then started reporting what he'd actually done and it was so frustrating that it took as long as it did to say something, but we still have this culture where people think they will be fired for being harassed or they just don't feel comfortable speaking out, but being in the power position at the top, I guess, it is easier to just say, this is XYZ.

[dustybiker]

I would cut off any behavior by saying “I’d really like to keep this a working and professional relationship, please.” Up the volume each “correction”. It’s tell him to back off, shining a bright light of what he is doing wrong and not giving him a way to turn it around on his prey.

[Makeushiver]

If it's not happening to you I wouldn't touch it. You might mention to your colleague that you are willing to be a witness on her behalf is she wants to do anything about it but I wouldn't make it my problem unless that applies if just unwanted flirting but #1 make sure it's unwanted. I have had women supervisors who have flirted with me and I didn't mid it. I understand that it is different for a woman. I'd suggest tp your colleague to jeep a journal of what happened, when and who may have witnessed it. Having something you can reference as far as times band places gives a lot more credibility. If she does try that she shouldn't tell anyone at work about it Make an offer to be a witness for her and then leave it alone unless he starts doing the same with you

[NathanDavis]

I really think you should speak to Jade in the first place...

because if anyone is the victim, that would be her... and then, starting something would make her the target

the douchebag already targeting her, HR will want to speak with her, the bosses... the company will make her all the focus and not him the idiot

it is very usual for companies to target the victim instead of the perpetrator, they will want the victim to prove that is actually true, she will be questioned and doubted even, because it is also usual for the companies to protect themselves first

they very rarely favor the victim right away so at the very least, you should speak with her instead of all you teaming up and probably going against her will

[Pink2000]

I totally get what you’re saying and you’re right. What if I recorded him doing these things to her?

[NathanDavis]

that would be a good idea, yes... audio or video could work as proof for the bosses and HR, and with that, then they would have it more difficult if they do not want to take action

so that's a good idea

but at least talk with Jade first before taking the evidence to the bosses, so she is not totally unaware

if you all take her by surprise it could make her uncomfortable and not want to cooperate, even if it is for her wellbeing

[NathanDavis]

@Pink2000 and it's still a good idea to take action, because that douchebag at work... I am sure is not the first time he would do this, needs to be stopped

[Bricealan]

Keep notes, write everything down, dates, times, what was said and done at the time.

She should tell the moron that he is making her uncomfortable, and 'please stop" what he is doing.

What kind of business are you in? Build a case and go to HR.

[shesrad]

yes report him, sometimes we have to be a voice for others unfort and maybe if you speak up she will as well, goodluck!

[ZenJen444]

So has Jade this has made her uncomfortable or are you guys just uncomfortable for her? I wouldn't speak on her behalf because what if they are having relations after work or have some type of arrangement? You could report on your behalf how he makes you uncomfortable I'd he did something to you but I wouldn't put someone on blast like that without their permission. I'd personally mind my business

[ZenJen444]

*has Jade said this

[Pink2000]

Jade is dating another guy that works there. Only a few of us know that they’re talking. Jade stated that his behavior does make her uncomfortable and the coworker she’s dating is starting to get pissed off.

[ZenJen444]

I'd let her speak for herself as far as hr. I wouldn't get involved

[Dez_37_46]

Yes, you should say something. To many people don’t stand up anymore.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would report him to HR, he could cause her to really get hurt

[Whatthefluff]

What kind of industry is this? This would be considered sexual harassment and it seems Jade feels threatened so this is a major problem. You should definitely report this.

[Pink2000]

Restaurant

[Whatthefluff]

Fast food?

[Pink2000]

It’s a sports bar

[OlderAndWiser]

Take some video so no one is forced to come forward and send it anonymously to the CEO of the company.

[the_sinner]

A collective report to the HR would be a strong move. Post reporting everyone needs to motivate and uplift Jane so that she doesn’t get disheartened or afraid if someone tries to threaten her.

[DizzyDesii]

This is the job you wanna quit right? May as well say soemthing on your way out

[Pink2000]

That’s true

[Summeroflove]

Ask her how she feels about it. If she is uncomfortable then say something. If not. Then let her deal with it.

all in all if something really bothers you. Say something.

[77five]

I personally wouldn't do anything if its not happening to me. Its up to her to report it. She knows everyone will back her up (i assume) so I wouldn't report him.

[qwert1234]

You can. But prepare for a backlash, just in case.

Oh and HR's are there not to protect the employees, they are there to protect the company. No matter what their "role" are.

[Pink2000]

You’re right. I’m gonna document it. And if they try to fire me for it I’ll have proof.

[qwert1234]

I am not discouraging you or something, but whistleblowers tend go get a bad rep - which spreads from 1 company to another and is sometimes a career-ending choice.

[Pink2000]

I’m aware.

[TheLittleInnocent]

I think should report him but maybe tell Jade first.

[Pink2000]

I’m gonna ask her if she has considered reporting him to HR and I’m gonna take video of him flirting with her like @OlderAndWiser said

[KelleyNice]

It is probably not as you describe. However, if it is report the situation.

[Pink2000]

It’s exactly how I described. I saw the shit with my own eyes.

[888theGreat]

video tape it with your phone , then do it. You will have visual proof then

[888theGreat]

pic is creepy , like Joe Biden smelling kids

[Anonymous]

Don't intervene or lose your own job. Jade needs to handle i t so try and convince her. He would find out and get rid of you somehow. Not worth it. Just a perv.

[Alex8736]

In your employee handbook is there a phone number for ethics where it's a neutral party that investigates and the complaint can be submitted anonymously?

[Pink2000]

I believe so. However we aren’t allowed to keep the employee handbook. It goes in a file.

[Alex8736]

Do you live in the US?

[Pink2000]

Yes I do

[Alex8736]

All you have to do is go on to the state website and click attorney general's office and you or your colleague can file an anonymous workplace complaint. Only one that would know of the complaint would be the Case worker in the attorney general's office that will reach out confidentially

[Dazed0N0Confused]

I would absolutely report him to HR, that is NOT behavior that should be tolerated!

[DiegoO]

I honestly would snap with those managers and would prefer to renounce if I saw no other alternative between renouncing and smack the s* out of him.

[Finchie40]

Yes report him , if Jade said she doesn’t like it then that’s your answer to report him