Ladies, would you have reported this?

Question

So, the backstory… I was at work on break, this young twenty two year old sits by me a lot lately… A guy we work with sat down and said to her “Hey sexy” And then said “Why don’t you have your hair down like the other day, Itold you you look pretty with your hair down”… She reported him to the operational managers for that… Not only that she dropped my name 🤷‍♀️ like don’t involve me in your bs… And she twisted his words…I personally didn’t think it was anything to take offense to, but even if it did make her uncomfortable, she could have just asked him not to call her that, and if he didn’t stop, THEN report him… they got into it the next day on break and she reported him AGAIN… I got called to HR over this nonsense… I been working 60 hour weeks, I don’t got time for other people’s created drama… sorry this was so long, but do you think she should have reported him? I don’t…

DJB72 · Accepted Answer

She has the "right" to report it in most countries these days. Unfortunately.

It's typical zero skin, never mind thin skinned response from the snowflake generation. A few years ago she'd end up on a disciplinary hearing for wasting company resources and he'd be able to sue for defamation of character.

Ladies, you need to learn the difference between harassment and a compliment. If a guy tells you that your appearance is attractive, this is rarely "harassment". You have the right to your feelings. Newsflash: SO DOES HE!!!

Your desire not to be objectified is fair enough. As long as you're perfectly even handed in your reporting. So if you're offended by the short guy with buck teeth calling you "sexy" then when Dwayne Johnson (or whoever your lust is) says it you have a moral responsibility to report him too.

Similarly, you need to either be a virgin or in a long term monogamous relationship. No friends with benefits "action" outside the workplace.

Accepting a compliment from someone you find attractive and would sleep with while reporting one from a guy who doesn't reach that "lofty" height makes you a hypocrite.

If the guy has heard you accept it from others and you didn't report them, that's precedent for a countersuit of defamation.

If you're uncomfortable with the way a guy addresses you just tell him. In 99.9% of cases he'll back off, apologise and probably won't do it again. Most guys aren't predators. Like most girls aren't insane. It's the 0.1% that's the problem.

Try not to be the 0.1%

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

This is the kind of mickey mouse, ticky tack shit people have to deal with by flooding the work force with women and their feelings and being offended by funcking everything. All of the endless complaints and HR issues because their damn holy feelings got hurt.

Men only professions were often crash, full of ribbing, dirty jokes, teasing, toughness. Then women flood the force and suddenly they complain about 70% of crap that is NO ISSUE AT ALL. Grow a damn pair you little princess. The 10% to 25% of real, valid complaint, harassment issues are drowned out by the endless whiny, entitled, work must revolve around me and my feelings crap.

Women just constantly trying to get men fired and in trouble. A man would just say, my hair is none of your business you fucking asshole so shut the hell up, at least I have some hair. Does your wife like that shiny chrome dome? But no, she has to try and get someone fired and to take away their income over her stupid princess feelings.

19magic · Accepted Answer

In my last workplace I should have reported it I felt so creeped out, but I needed the money and wanted a good reference and didn't believe anyone would believe me. The guys had been working there for 10-20 years and me only about six months. However these are just words and not actions, but at the same time there's no way of knowing if he'd done anything behind the scenes to this girl, or the other way round she initiated, and now is trying to get him in trouble.

In my last place my boss, about 30 years older hugged me from behind and then kissed my cheek, when I was doing the washing up, I still cringe about it to this day almost 5 years later and he's been working there 25 years. My other colleague about 15 years older, said to me one day it makes my day when you sweep the floor, as when you bend down your top opens just enough to see one of your sexy bras and I like to think about if your underwear matches or not. There were other times when walking past them in the kitchen they'd only give me enough room to squeeze past them, when there is plenty of room.

So I do wonder if there is more things she's not saying and only had the courage to report that one as it makes it not a game of he said, she said, especially since you said you've noticed her sitting next to you a lot lately, and maybe she feels safe next to you.

But then again she could simply be a Karen looking to get her next kick, it's really hard to tell and ultimately it's a desicion you'll probably have to make, whether you like it or not.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

Yes ahe should've reported him. That's sexual harassment. On top of that its the second time its happened. He said "I already told you, you look pretty with your hair down." Which means he's done this to her before. You're not allowed to tell people they are pretty and tell them what to do with their hair or outfits in the workplace. You're not allowed to hit on people in the workplace. That's sexual harassment. It's supposed to be professional.

Now dragging you into it is a different conversation altogether. But that guy was absolutely harassing her.

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

That seems a bit extreme, if she had never told him she didn't want that type of terminology thrown at her, it may have been a surprise to him.

it really is a very immature way to act towards other employees though. He probably should know better. Sorry you got dragged into it

Bricealan · Answer

@brainsbeforebeauty Morning, 'brains"... gosh your hair looks great this morning you gorgeous hunk... err ... hmmmmm... wait... a minute... I didn't mean that 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤷‍♂️ Kidding aside, contrary to what most think, this kind of thing is more prevalent than you think, and it can really get out of control as you have seen demonstrated.  I would not have used the terms   "Hi sexy'  and would say, off hand,  that is asking for some blow back, from anyone that wants to 'stir the sexual harassment pot". Maybe not a 'report able' offense, but at least, the guy is 'just asking for trouble, by saying that.  You can bet your butt, that IF she had been attracted to the guy, or liked him the slightest bit, it would not have happened.

spartan55 · Answer

Maybe she had warned him already when you weren't around. Do I think what he said was inappropriate for the workplace? Yes. Do I think it's worth going to HR about it? I wouldn't personally, but can understand her feelings. As far as you being called in to HR, I mean you witnessed the encounter, so they want to hear your version.

NathanDavis · Answer

Yes, because that's what people should do with harassment in the work place

and not only happened a couple of times but there is also a possibility that it happened more times, or with other people but you were just not aware of it

many times people do wait till it is something way more serious and this is a mistake, and it can be a big mistake... and another mistake is to think that just because you ask an idiot to stop the idiot is going to actually stop, no... they are idiots and reasoning or common sense/decency will not work with them, because they're assholes, lol

they might even feel more into keep with their harassment

as for them getting you involved, well... that's just part of the job, annoying unfortunate but oh well, as long you're not the one being sexually harassed...

KatherineJ · Answer

I think you are right. First, let the other person know that what he said makes you uncomfortable. Then, if it happens again…report it. I don’t think most people intend harm. Now then, if there is inappropriate touching, or innuendo, that’s a different matter.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

You surely have some feminist sh*t going on there sponge, i think that she's a karen too 🤣
Did he deserves this? Ofc not, i mean it happens a lot, nothing wrong with it, she's acting like kids, i mean she could of told him by herself that he's bothering her and if they can just continue each on their own path...

No need for all this drama, maybe she threw your name as a witness to her BS 😂

Tell her to grow up!

Poor boy fell for a karen 😅

elizamichale1 · Answer

No not at all... she shouldn't have reported him... n as u said she could hav just told him she didn't like his comments n shud hav asked him not to comment like tht anymore... n yes if he kept doing it then report him...

WindAtMyBack · Answer

At one time it was not harassment unless the person was explicitly told to stop.

The word harass, in any context, means it is ongoing by definition. A single incident of anything can never be harassment.

She should have just told him to stop instead of going to HR. But then maybe she already did.

loveslongnails · Answer

She should have pulled him aside, maybe with a witness, and told him that kind of talk wasn't appreciated by her, made her uncomfortable, and falls into the category of harassment, and she's asking him to stop. She's also telling him if he doesn't stop, then she'll report him. I think that would have been better. Yeah, you shouldn't have been brought into it either.

LazerBean · Answer

For all you know, she has told him to stop in the past and that was the final straw. Personally, I would not have reported him. But I how I handle people like that would probably get me fired.

But if a guy constantly does that even though he's been asked to stop, it is perfectly justifiable and understandable for a woman to report him.

YesterdaysChild · Answer

I think she was being a Karen, or maybe the work was just getting to her. Could also be he was doing that when no one else was around. You really don't know what has been going on. It is between those two and no one else should be dragged into it. The guy does seem to be acting creepy though, in my opinion.

Surely · Answer

Unless there was something that occurred prior to the exchange that you heard that put her over the edge. Then I would agree with you.
I was once a witness to an event between a coworker and a forman. at work. To keep the union happy and stay out of it. I told them that I was thinking about the job assignment and wasn’t paying any attention to the exchange of words.

Anonymous · Answer

Is it possible he has done this to her before and she has previously told him to stop and that day you witnessed what was said she had enough and decided to just report it.

krin_m · Answer

She should have told him get lost and not bother her again.

If he still continued to behave that way, then she has the right to report. Also, she should have asked you before getting you involved.

If you care for her then may be chalk it to her young age and inexperience and explain your side to her?

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

She should have said to the guy, "Please don't give me compliments because it creeps me out" I think that would sufficient and if he has done it again then report him.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

How primitive is that! Nowadays the hardest punishment will be to: - unlike - unsubscribe - unfollow - block and - downvote This girl needs to be sent to a re-education camp.

dudeinohio · Answer

Just saying someone is pretty isn't sexual harassment. But she should have told him to. leave her alone if she was getting offended.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

That sucks. No, this girl should have told the guy to knock it off first then go to HR if he persists.

CubaPirate · Answer

Not in my day. But hey modern political correctness in all its shape and forms, has gone way too far and created over sensitivity in way too many people. What do you think sexy lol 😆

Anonymous · Answer

that's bullshit. That's why I don't talk to women at work other than basic pleasantries. Luckily I'm in a slightly male dominated field maybe 70 percent male 30 percent female.

Ladies, would you have reported this?

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What Girls & Guys Said

She should have said to the guy, "Please don't give me compliments because it creeps me out" I think that would sufficient and if he has done it again then report him.

Ladies, would you have reported this?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

She should have said to the guy, "Please don't give me compliments because it creeps me out" I think that would sufficient and if he has done it again then report him.

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