How to handle work social events with a colleague you hate?

[Anonymous]

I work in a small team of about 5 people. Everyone is lovely except this one woman I work with who makes my working day a living hell. She's so annoying and she gets aggressive towards me when I don't do something right or when I challenge her on an instruction. She's a PM and I'm a copywriter. So when I challenge the instructions she's passed down from someone else, she just wants me to get on with it and do the task even if they're asking me to add incorrect language or grammar to a text. Hence why I ask questions (politely), etc. This is just one example of how she makes my working life difficult. One time she raised her voice to me over the phone and I just couldn't respect her after that.

So anyway, we are professional in person to each other but I think we both know we are not each other's favourite people. We just don't get on. But now I have a work social event with my team and this woman, and because of her I don't want to go. I just don't want to spend any unneccessary time with her at all. She makes me feel uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I don't want to not go to an event with four other people I actually like and get on well with. Worse thing is we're going to an Escape Room, so it's not like in a bar where you can just sit far away from that person you don't like. We have to talk to each other. Uh.

Any advice how to handle this situation?

[Anonymous]

I can relate so hard to this. My old company hired a temporary manager who didn't know how to do her job and would just assign useless time wasting tasks and screw up the ones we'd been doing for years and then go to our monthly meeting with the head of the company, and not only blame us, but speak up first and wrongly take credit for ideas we'd discussed with her. I definitely wasn't keen on hanging out, but like your situation, everyone else was great, so I did it.

First things first, you're not going to be at work right, so that means *almost* the typical rules don't apply. Tell yourself in your mind, the day will be a good one and don't focus on little things growing to big annoyances. If you want to take charge of the escape room tasks, do it, especially if you have prior experience. Make your PM you subordinate from the start and dictate how they should help the team accomplish the tasks at hand. It also helps that you know your teams strengths and weaknesses right---Carol, you're good at this, so help with that, Mike you can probably solve the codes, etc, etc. If your PM gets snippy with you, tell her to "relax, we're having fun here and get everyone else on your team on that same level where you're not taking it too seriously." It's almost like you're going to be playing a game within a game---the, I will not be annoyed and they will not ruin my day, game which can be really fun if you know the other person is purposefully trying to get under your skin because they'll quickly see, they can't because you aren't going to let them.

[Alwayreckles93]

Girl yes, I am going threw the same situation as of right now except that this dude he is 30 I am 28 . I apologize I know my profile says I'm 21but I'm actually. Anyway I challenge this guy too I tell my boss what is best to make the store save money And how we are in no position to risk the store in loosing money and this guy wants to used the store money to buy everyone Starbucks he wants to be the cool manager while I follow the rules. I would do is report anything about her if she breaks or bends the companies rules. How old is this woman anyway? Yeah some people are stuck in high school.

[Anonymous]

When i tried publishing a book back in 2004 or 2005 through a crappy publishing company i had some bitch try pulling the same shit on me as you did to your boss. I had a massive blowout with her and she kept whining i didn't use proper English. I told her just print the thing the way i have it. It's like that for a damn reason. Then she whined even more and had me assigned to a formatter or editor or some shit who actually followed the directions i gave her. If something needs to be written and published a certain way you're job isn't to question it just shut your trap and do as you're told. There's a reason someone wants it printed a certain way. If you don't like your job then leave. In this case i would side with your boss over you any day

[Guy13]

Fake as there is no option unless you want black mark at job

[Anonymous]

i have/had a coworker like that. she finally is getting a new job because she's so "miserable"

i'd suggest telling the higher ups about her. and also HR

in the meantime, try to ignore her the best you can, stay away!

[HaveNoName]

I never go to work socials. If I cannot avoid them, I stay in a corner and do my own thing and make it known very clear (without saying it) that I am not interested to mingle with ANYONE.

[WhitneySnow]

I wouldn’t go. That’s too much being close with someone you hate.

[Summeroflove]

File a report to HR or whoever you need to.

[Wise4myage]

Just be professional.