I want to be friends with my boss. Can I ask to join her at lunch or should I wait for her to invite me to sit with her?

[Bethany22]

Is it appropriate to walk up to my boss sitting at a table for their lunch break to ask if I can join her, or would that be too narcissistic/bold of me? Should I focus instead on becoming friends with my colleagues, and just wait for her to ask me to join her for lunch if she thinks of it? What if there are no other tables free. Can I use that as my excuse to sit with her, or should I ask a stranger if I can join their table?

Updates

1 y

She's not really my boss, but she has a position higher in authority than mine. We might have the same education level, but she has many more years of experience.

[Guy13]

I would not put her in a compromised work appearance. She will shut you out permanently thinking your judgment is poor and may be out to get her.

I suggest hand gestures. Catch her eyes... fist/wave inside body... point at her move food trey... She will likely Nod affirmative and invite you as she is forced too at that point. It has worked with me... I have had it done to me is what i am trying to say. It is a good Method.

[AviatorTom]

It's good to have friendly relations with your colleagues and your boss. Unless she is sitting with upper level management, it's fine to ask if you can join her.

[Lulu897]

I wouldn’t say that’s narcissistic/bold , I would say it’s friendly and kind of you to ask her. It depends on what kind of person she is as if she’s rude and blunt she might decline, if she’s sweet and friendly then I’m sure she’d be happy

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

No feel free to ask her. I think it’s a great experience to sit and learn from pick the brain of those above you

[FunkyMonkee]

Just buddy up with her outside of the lunch area and then, in a few weeks, when it's time to go to lunch, she won't think twice about you sitting with her. She's just a human being, just like you, she just happens to be a slightly higher work position than you. What would YOU do if YOU were the boss and SHE decided to sit with YOU at lunch?

[ArrowheadSW]

I think it depends on the personality of the boss, and the culture of the company. I would probably walk by and say "Hello" and see her reaction. If she acts like she wants you to join her, then I probably would.

[RealMarek]

Yes. If you don’t, other people won’t hesitate and will get more visibility than you. If the two of you get on well she might be a good mentor professionally. You never know.

[jshm2]

She's your boss, not your friend.

If she wanted a relationship she would sit with you.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Ask her if she's comfortable going to lunch and if not that is fine too.

[Sasha0426]

Whatever you do, do NOT make friends with coworkers. Bosses or regular associates. I have done this and it didn’t turn out so good.

[red_knight]

Treat them respectfully, do them professional favours, treat them out, be your best, keep personal issues to yourself, most importantly respect yourself.

[FeistyFemale]

You may ask but expect a refusal. Most companies discourage management from mingling for a reason. Be prepared to look for employment elsewhere if the two of you do not hit it off should she accept.

[Alex8736]

what you have to remember is they are boss and if their boss tells them to downsize it comes down to food on your table or food on their table

[pizzalovershouse]

Not a good idea not less asked it seems your sucking up

[Anonymous]

It is usually best to be friends with people who are at the same level as you. But I would wait for her to invite you to join her. Or if it is the only place available to sit.

[nawtee_me]

If she is a boss and you make friends with her your colleagues won’t be friends with you…..

[Andres77]

what @Guardian45 said

[Guardian45]

Thank you

[Guardian45]

Ask her to be your coach or mentor

[Andres77]

this is a good first step. a friendship could develop.
good call, @Guardian45

[Guardian45]

@Andre77. Thank you. Imitation is the the sincerest form of flattery.

[es20490446e]

I would walk to whoever I want.

[Jennz6]

Yes, just say “may I join you”?

[CubaPirate]

Just do what you feel is right

[Agape93]

Invite her to lunch

[DJB72]

Ask. It can't hurt.