How can a gossip/toxic co-worker be more liked & promoted?

[Anonymous]

There's a co-worker for 1 has started a "smear campaign" against me about a past issue that was transferred from a previous job. She is horrible, I knew from day 1 not to trust her. She gossips about a lot of co workers and our boss... I've noticed those same people prefer her and give her more respect! Why?

Out boss literally just promoted her and I'm already planning my escape if she had to be my Lead. I don't see how others do NOT see through her fake ass attitude. When I started she was bad mouthing her previous employer... yet I'm not respected as much as her with the smear campaign. I'm confused 😕...

[SteveSmith1985]

You can't win her over. She's decided to be a bitch to you, and that won't change. All you can do is to plan your escape, or find some way to fuck-this-girl using OFFICIAL means (e. g. file a harassment complant).

WHat you should FOR SURE do, is start taking notes on inapropriate things she says/does. They don't have to be 'formal' notes. But you DO need to date them as you write them. Write down something everytime she does ANYTHING.

Those notes... if you make them in an ongoing way AT THE TIME... those notes are valid in court. They are valid in any sort of formal or informal workplace conflict situation. Those notes can often be SO important. Start taking notes. Seriously. Regardless of your next-steps. Even if you're trying to leave. START TAKING NOTES AND DATING THEM.

That really is, genuinely good advice. I hope you take it.

[Asker]

Thanks, I will start notes. The thing is she has a sneaky way of harassing me that is low key and I fear if I do take notes it would be a she said she said situation. Why do others respect her more than me? From my side it appears to be that way.. she complains about a few of them.

[SteveSmith1985]

Those notes are EXACTLY what allows you to come out on top in a 'she-said-she-said' situation. They can be scribbled informally in a notepad. As long as they're dated, and were written at the time. That literally is accepted in courts (in North America). So if she's sneaky and sly about what she's doing. Notes are critical..

Now don't spend your time worrying about why other's respect her more than you. This woman is a social predator. She is able to make people like/respect her if she chooses to. It's a matter of her knowing how to bring that situation about. It has nothing to do with her being naturally more commanding of respect or anything like that. She knows how to manipulate people, and has most people fooled. Don't let that bother you! It's got nothing to do with you! : )

[Asker]

Thanks again. Yea, I certainly don't want to waste energy and time wondering about the why with others. Especially during this happy season too. I'll take notes.

[SteveSmith1985]

EXAAAACTLY! You don't need that woman ruining your holiday time (or any time). Do take notes.

Imagine her face if you end up in some meeting where you get to whip-out your bundle of notes... detailing the minutia of her bullshit... on a daily-basis. Watch how fast colour can drain from someone's face. Those notes are really gold in a situation like this.

With notes, you will come-out-on-top of this situation. Try and get out of that place; but also, don't worry too much about this woman. Do your job; take your notes; and blow-her-ass-out-of-the-water if she tries to actually fuck with you. But taking notes should allow you to hopefully relax a bit and not let it stress you out as much.