Does it make a man a loser if he does not want to climb the career ladder and be in management throughout his lifetime?

[Anonymous]

I (30m) was a direct support professional most of my 20s. Basically I worked in group homes caring for and teaching lifeskills to intellectually disabled individuals. I went to college and got a degree in psychology and took a supervisor position. I worked that for around 9 to 10 months and realized it wasn't for me and the amount of work involved was insane for someone like myself who wanted to have a wife and kids and actually spend time with my family. Anyway, I decided to quit the supervisor position and find the highest paying direct support professional job there was in my area. I have a lot of experience so I was able to use that as leverage. Now, it is starting to feel like I am going to be stuck doing this forever and eventually my wife is going to think less of me for not aspiring to become the boss. There are people my age that are so high up in these companies they are in the position directly below the ceo and that does not feel good. If this career isn't for me in that respect, does that make me a loser. Also if have any ideas on what I can do next shoot them off.

Yes

No

Maybe

Oooog boooga

[WindAtMyBack]

I don't think you are a loser. I think what is far more important than what people think is whether you like what you are doing and can support your lifestyle, and support a family if you choose to.

This reminds me of the Peter Principle. If you are not familiar with it, that was the name of a popular book in the 70s (I think). The idea is that people rise to their level of incompetence. Companies are usually structured so that people who are experienced and good at their job rise to the next level job. If they are good at that job, they rise to the next level. Eventually they rise to a job that they are no longer good at and stop rising.

Management tends to take the best and most experienced people away from positions they are good at. So eventually the company loses the best workers. The problem is that there is a financial incentive for this to happen. The pay is scaled to move out of what you are really good at, and in cases like yours, out of what you really like.

Management is considered moving up. So even lower level managers tend to make more than high level underlings, even when the underlings may contribute far more important work to the company. Management is a *different* set of skills, not a *better* or more important set of skills. But the pay scale does not reflect that.

Unfortunately, this is just how it works.

Are you a teacher? If so, would getting a masters in teaching or social work help? I knew a guy with a degree in sociology, and later a masters in teaching. He worked with various types of disabled and troubled kids. Eventually he became a teacher working with mostly down syndrome kids. The education system values education, so advanced degrees pay much more. Teachers in the US with advanced degrees and experience make pretty decent money.

[exitseven]

No, I was never a big career guy. I looked at work as just a way to make a living and not a personal identity.

I recently got s new job and purposely got out of management too go back to doing more technically oriented work.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[PrincessAlis]

I think you should be open with your wife, even if this seems odd, find out what she actually cares about when it comes to your career. Personally, I'd prefer my spouse to support me in finding a place that fits ME and MY LIFESTYLE over being in a particular place in a random business.

It is nicer to make the big bucks but if it hurts your life then maybe its not for you. Not everyone is built to be a manager nor wants it and also there's plenty of non-managerial positions across the workplace. You could also try to move even higher up the ladder and get where all you do during the day is meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Or find another industry or job role where you enjoy the work.

I think the best thing for you is to stop comparing yourself to others and follow what works for you and your life & makes you as happy as you can be in the workplace.

[jennifer_bloom]

Some things to think about is that money is like a coconut, if you don’t crack hard and long, you don’t get to eat the coconut. Do you want to downsize your life? Or do you want money while your wife does the house work and child care? You might leave and discover your options at new jobs are even worse because if there was an easy way to make money, than somebody has already monopolized it for themselves and made it impossible for you to do the same thing. If you are unusually smart and strong, Bull dozing through a new career path might be a reasonable choice, but be realistic about it. There was a Google ceo that quit her position and 20 years later she is worth less than 3 million when she could have been worth 40,000,000 or more etc…

[Anonymous]

No, not in my opinion.